Anyone familiar with the story of Esther in the Bible? I so identify with what Joyce Meyer wrote (and Joyce’s own story) about Esther … how she probably had other plans for her life … a “normal” life, like most women of the time, but she was called to live differently for something more than just for her, even though she probably knew the dangers involved, as well as the discomfort and many other things she would have to experience.
For years, I have gone back and forth, trying just to live the “normal” life everyone I know who mostly live “normal” lives keep telling me I should have, but I am just not made that way. At first, when I first tried to “not follow” the backlash was incredible, not only from the outside world, but from my inside world. Even though visions were put in my heart to follow that I dearly wanted to follow, repeatedly, I went back and tried and tried and tried to live “normal” but my personality does not thrive in “normal, mainstream jobs.” I get sick, in many ways and the older I get, the longer it takes me bounce back from such endeavours because I get so out of balance in trying to cope with the effects such things have on me.
All those “failures” of not measuring up to normal are not even failures, they are just indicators of what is not right and not working, which has meant learning a new way to live … to thrive successfully. I know for sure now what I can do, enjoy doing, what I am truly good at, getting better at and that is spending hours studying, analyzing, researching, continuously learning, and communicating … sharing my story and what I have learned to individuals and groups of people, which are not things most people could do or would want to do, revealed by the fact that one of people’s biggest fears is public speaking. Like all jobs, this is hard work, plus it is mostly very lonely work. This work and lifestyle has its own unique challenges, as do all jobs, including establishing a good balance of working time because this work is not like other jobs where you spend a number hours at someone else’s place, doing what somebody else tells you to do and then collect payment every week or two for services rendered (lawyers being the primary exception, because many get paid before they do their jobs).
No, an eight to ten-hour day for me includes all the correspondence, using the social media tools, the blog and other writing, research, learning, and study, speech writing and practice, design work for the website, book cover, poster, card designs, etc., and time away from it all to clear my head so solutions, fresh perspectives and what to do next are made clear. This kind of life is definitely not for most people I know … the discipline must come from within because like any job, you have to get the work done … but in this case, with no one standing over you with a yearly review to tell you how you have done and no one giving you a regular paycheck after a few weeks of work is done, but only after months and even years of hard work, perseverance and the unflinching knowing that it is the best work for me to do considering who I am and my experiences.
I am delighted to discover stories, particularly about women now, whose calling has pulled them out of the mainstream, sometimes even kicking and screaming at first on the inside, to do something outside of the “normal” life many desire and take for granted. Thanks to Esther and to all the women I keep discovering who inspire me to keep moving forward … in faith that as I do the right thing in my heart, my mind will catch up with all I need to keep going, as will my bank account, now that I know “normal” does not mean normal is right and I am wrong, but that normal just means normal … the majority.
The other inspiring point to consider from all the stories of people like Esther, Joyce, etc. is that, when the time is right, the payoff will arrive and because it hasn’t been a weekly paycheck, it comes in large lump sums. It is a very different way of living and working than anyone I have personally known, but that doesn’t mean not following the majority, the normal path, is not right … it is just a different path. And we only make it more difficult for those who are called to break away from “normal” by not understanding this and not supporting them, even if only be encouragement alone … because realizing our potential is not something we do in competition with others … it is ours alone and no path is more “right” or “wrong.”
Yes, often I have longed to be part of the majority, have tried it, felt rejected, then bad, then depressed and apathetic, but not anymore, thanks to all those I read about in books and listen to on television, who, from a distance, have encouraged me to rise up, stand tall and just be who I am. Hallelujah. Please pass this on to anyone you know would feel better about themselves after reading it. Thanks!
October 1, 2013
All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED