Many of have heard people say or perhaps we have said the words ourselves, “I would not change a thing in my life because of what I have learned and the results in my life now.”
I used to believe this too, though now I call this thinking a fallacy because of a question that arose … does this kind of thinking empower us to make our world and the world-at-large a better place so we all thrive? Or are we just continuing to accept this hand-me-down mentality and passing its limitations onto the next generations?
After considering this mindset extensively I realize this perspective is yet another deception the Disrespect Philosophy creates to keep us small, with little expectation or hope, repeating the past over and over, instead of empowering us to create significant lasting personal and cultural change.
I will give you my scenario and hopefully as you read this, you will consider yours … from both perspectives.
For years I thought all the very limiting and negative experiences my life was filled with were my fault … including the abuses I experienced as a child … for being misunderstood, different, pre-judged, starving for acceptance and as a result, vulnerable to people who prey, consciously or not, on the vulnerability of the broken-hearted and the broken-spirited with promises that eventually caused me great harm … the dangerous kind of harm that reduces a child’s, a youth’s, an adult’s RESPECT LEVEL to such a low-level one keeps attracting the same level of disrespect from others … reinforcing and reducing one’s RESPECT LEVEL that turns what started out to be a happy, loving being into a negative, frightened being who seeks to hurt first in relationships or runs away or uses habits as distractions.
Then being forced to make changes to survive, I then embraced the idea that I had to go through all I did in life so I could do what I am doing … advocating, writing, creating; however, based on an idea that grew into the premise, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE. As a result, now I know for years I was being deceived by our global Disrespect Philosophy or if you are a Christian believer, as I am again, you would say it was the Enemy. Because I know this now, I also know this fallacy created yet another deception … another fallacy … the one that still wants me to believe and reinforce by saying, “I would not change a thing in my life because of what I have learned and the results in my life now.”
For now I see through this veil of deception imprisoning most of us.
For in truth, if we lived in a global culture of “Respect for all life,” based on The RESPECT PRINCIPLE, we would bring children into a world where we would have made the “Respect Full” changes to ensure all children would not have to qualify or be approved of in order to receive healthy food, shelter, clothing, medicine, education and if not love, at least RESPECT, the simple recognition that they, as the unique individuals they are, are valued … are valuable … just for being who they are.
In my case, if my parents, family, school, community, province and country had a high enough RESPECT LEVEL for those more different from themselves, they would have sought to discover what personality type I was, what were my primary and secondary communicating and learning styles, what type of learning environment I needed to develop my own identity, boundaries and a healthy RESPECT LEVEL for myself, and as a result, for others, thereby developing to the best ability the social skills to interact well with the world in all my relationships.
But they did not know my personality type thrives on study, research, exploration and then lots of analysis, introspection, problem solving, and creativity. They did not know my personality type’s mind receives vast internal stimulation whereas the majority of people require external stimulation from the world around them to keep them engaged mentally and that when I am in the external world too long, I shutdown to protect myself. But of course, the irony is, shutting down and withdrawing from those people whose brains require vast external stimulation often, because of ignorance, misjudge and mistreat those who withdraw, often taking their withdrawal personally, which ultimately puts those trying to protect themselves in more danger.
They did not know how their ignorance and their demand for 100% conformity broke my heart and my spirit as well as contributed to the harm to my body … inflicted by others and my self because of my low RESPECT LEVEL for myself.
And this is where many people will say, “But look at what you have learned, who you have become … a writer, author, advocate and so much more,” but I say this now, “But look at how much more I could have given to the world, at what a better citizen, student, role model, wife, daughter, sister, friend, supporter, community member I could have been all my life … if I knew from experience I was valued and aided accordingly for who I was and for my unique gifts, talents and abilities. I tell you who I would have been, what I would have done, the life I would have lived … I would have been placed in a Montessori school where self-directed education is best suited for my personality type. I would have received an athletic scholarship for the physical prowess and stamina I inherited from both of my parents. Because of my natural desire to study, I would have a few degrees, would be a lifelong successful author, an altruistic entrepreneur and so much more. I would not have married twice because I would have made better choices for me because I would have known myself better and not tried to get my value through other people whether in relationships or work I did. I would have been more respectful of others … their feelings, their things and I would have enjoyed happier and healthier relationships with my family.
Though this is my story, this is also everyone’s story … just look at our world.
Now that my years of study, research, analysis and problem-solving have revealed the lies and deceptions for what they are, now I am being who I was destined to be, doing what I was destined to do, life is good and my life will one day reflect that good … but if I had grown up in a world with a higher RESPECT LEVEL, my whole life would have bore the fruit of being who I really am … all my life and not just in the last half of my life … and the world I was in contact with during my lifetime would have been better for that experience.
If I could, I would change almost everything about my life, starting with my early years, where in photos I find a happy, joyful, exuberant child ready to explore the world, but since I cannot do it over for me, I am dedicated to shedding the light on the darkness … on the lies and deceptions the Disrespect Philosophy, the Enemy have used to hold us as prisoners.
I hope and pray you will too … it is never too late to be who you are meant to be.
February 17, 2014
Kaitlin A. Trepanier
All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Getting YOU the RESPECT YOU Want … Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Author, Writer, Playwright, Poet, Lyricist, Artist, Advocate, Speaker, Researcher, Analyst, Developer, Project Specialist, Creative Director, Founder … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.