Respect … The Way Back Into Love

THE PROBLEM

When we fall in love, we think our love is unconditional, but most of us discover over time that our love is really more conditional. We have expectations. We have deal-breakers. We have limitations. We discover we are willing to not accept a person totally with all their flaws … which we all have.

Now, as someone who has not made wise choices in the past because of my low Respect Level for myself and for others manifested by  my own experiences, plus shaped and influenced by others experiences and subsequent beliefs,  I now know better. And as Maya Angelou and Oprah used to say, “When we know better, we do better.”

Well, sometimes we do and sometimes we don’t, but at least we become empowered to make different choices when we learn, though sometimes is just a matter of time.

Personally, making different choices that are respectful … demonstrating a higher level of respect and valuation of ourselves and others … has taught me that respect truly is the way back into love … though not just the conditional kind of love most people experience, but the rare gem of unconditional love. The kind of love that empowers us to accept someone completely by acts of love … peace, forgiveness, kindness, acceptance, tolerance, and so much more than most of us are used to experiencing in this world.

Unconditional love is not about us all having to be the same … is not about judging and condemning others … but is about learning to live and let live without malice and inflicting harm. It is about learning to live peacefully with each other, resolving conflicts, and not creating conflict for the sake of creating conflict.

As a result of the Berlin attack the other day, I heard someone say on the radio there is no honour in peace. Now I don’t know where such a belief came from or whom made the statement, but what I do know is making and keeping peace is far more difficult than stirring up prejudice, hate, and violence. As a matter of fact, as the news reveals every day, in this world, it is easy to be negative, selfish, and hateful … to seek to harm one’s self and others.

Of course, there are the majority who may not be inflicting horrors on others, yet their apathy is another form of disrespect … the devaluation of other people … which further supports the notion that conditional love is love.

THE SOLUTION

Raising people’s Respect Levels for their and other people’s lives is key not just to peace, but also key to supporting humanity’s evolution and growth beyond what humanity has yet achieved  … a return to love … the unconditional kind of love that respect leads us all back to when we embrace love and instead of hate.

Some people will say such love is a goal, a vision, a dream, an ideal … even unrealistic … isn’t love worth striving towards every day of our lives … because without love what really would be the point of living? Not a world or life I want to live. You?

Respect … the way back into love.

December 21, 2016

Kaitlin

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Founder/President of Connecting the Dots … with The Respect Principle … the for-profit social business venture raising Respect Levels with original entertaining, educational, and inspirational books, products, and services www.therespectprinciple.com  ©All Rights Reserved 2016

The Thing About Control …

The thing about control … is that it is an illusion. We cannot control what is going to happen to us … all we can control is our response.

Respect … the way into love.

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier

December 16, 2016

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Founder/President of Connecting the Dots … with The Respect Principle is dedicated to raising Respect Levels by providing entertaining, educational, and inspirational original books, products, and services www.therespectprinciple.com Ebooks also available @ www.smashwords.com. ©All Rights Reserved 2016

Predictability Versus Unpredictability … A Personal and Professional Perspective

A recent reconnect with the only employer I was embarrassed to reconnect with revealed more than predicted.

During a tumultuous time of change in my life, I applied for a seasonal, part-time job to generate additional household income, while not taxing my thinking and free time as I pondered what direction my life needed to take.

For four years, three days a week I visited three of the Toronto company’s key accounts to merchandise the company’s souvenir products. My performance also encouraged management to recruit me to a staff position to support the inventory control team and to serve as the in-warehouse production line supervisor.

However, during my employment with the company, my marriage was ending and I fell in love with a co-worker, all of which many people experience, but unfortunately how I handled myself during that time for years afterwards caused me to feel profound embarrassment and shame, especially since it was the only time I had allowed my personal problems to greatly affect my work performance.

On reflection, though I was not satisfied with my performance, the company obviously was since I was employed by them for four years. But it was only with my recent correspondence with the owner of the company of forty staff members that he shared his perspective.

Of course, the dialogue started with the letter I chose to write him few months ago, apologizing for my unprofessional behavioural at times during those four years.

Though we had only had a few interactions over the course of my employment, in his response letter, he was respectful and shared his perspective forthright. What he did recall about me was my talent, yet he also mentioned he recalled me as being unpredictable, though as I had explained there was a lot of tumult in my personal life that erupted into my professional life, including the discovery of my creative and entrepreneurial drive and talent.

In other words, I was experiencing an intense journey of self-discovery in my early forties because my dreams and talents had been squashed and/or squished into the predictable boxes my talents could be shoved into for the sake of familiarity and safety.

Many years later I can now put his words in context in ways he cannot do because he does not know me now. For instance, though I have further developed the talent he recalls, I have also discovered talents I was unaware of even then. And as for my unpredictability, I have also discovered the value of my “unpredictability” including how it has allowed my other talents … creativity … innovation … entrepreneurship … to rise up, be seen, and be developed in order to support the predictable elements of me … the most important being my passion to help people in any way I can.

For him and his company, helping people meant serving in a couple of capacities I mentioned above, yet as I have always been driven to do in any job, I also am driven to discover and develop more effective, efficient, and compassionate ways to support people and their goals.

And, as a result, I realize that it is precisely my creative, innovative, and entrepreneurial unpredictability, combined with my predictability of the sound business practices I developed at a young age and the sound personal practices I have developed since my employment by his company that I now am a whole, well-rounded individual … not only with the visions and dreams of what is possible, the unpredictable, but also with the logical, practical, and predictable skills needed to transform the visions and dreams into realities … everything that makes me the innovative social entrepreneur I now am.

As I have learned regarding all matters of life, one’s perspective is always key. Significantly too, I know predictability will only generate predictable … known … results, so if we want better, more, growth, change, etc., we must step out of the world of predictable into the unpredictable. And taking that step is called living.

Thank you IW for helping me to connect more of the dots of who I was, am and have yet to be.

Sincerely,

Kaitlin

December 4, 2016

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, founder and president of Connecting the Dots … with The Respect Principle, the company dedicated to raising Respect Levels for the benefit of all people by developing and delivering books, products, and services that entertain, educate, and inspire positive change. http://www.therespectprinciple.com ©All Rights Reserved 2016