For Better or Worse, We See People Through The Colored Lenses Of Our Beliefs

For instance, my experiences motivated me to trust no one, to assume the worst, and to leave people behind when those negative expectations were fulfilled.

Of course, with my beliefs coloring my vision of others, and myself, I attracted people with similar beliefs, who of course, did not let me down by treating me with disrespect, disregard, contempt, harm, and even betrayal … all things I carried in my heart and mind, sometimes with awareness, though often not.

I would like to tell you that all changed when I examined and changed my beliefs, but there is more truth to my old beliefs than I would like to acknowledge.

The thing is, like me for so long, many people do not know what their core beliefs are and even if they are their own, versus other people’s beliefs they adopted through conditioning, peer pressure etc. they don’t yet know the lens can be changed.

As a result, they also harbor the notion no one is trustworthy, to expect the worst from people, though they may have their own way of dealing with their fulfilled expectations.

My two new beliefs may seem at odds with each other, but in reality they complement each and even support each other.

First, based on logic, practicality, and compassion, my new personal philosophy recognizes everyone as valuable … to be respected simply for being a life. I don’t have to agree with them, like them, approve of them, or any other such thing. I live and let live, unless of course they are harming someone, which negates the option to live and let live because they are not giving the same option to those they are harming.

Secondly, driven to feel fulfilled beyond my personal philosophy alone, I returned to  believing in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Raised a Catholic, but not without a long time in between to fill in the gaps left by Catholicism teachings, my return was a slow, cautious, meandering one. Exploring other spiritual beliefs, none satisfied and kept me moving on, searching to have the gap filled.

Yet even when I accepted God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, with my new awareness and educational level, peace did not come right away. My head had to get wrapped around the distinctions between what I learned in my youth was not all the truth and the whole truth, came not from a person, but from the Bible itself.

I would like to say other believers drew me back to God, but overall I have discovered the many Christians I have met are struggling to believe and act as the Bible teaches, first and foremost to love unconditionally, and even to respect each other as God’s children.

However, this matters not now because one, I choose to respect all people and their right to choose so I live and let live, and two, because I am learning how to love like God, unconditionally, with grace, forgiveness, mercy, and all the things we all hunger for to fill the holes and gaps in our lives.

Whatever lens you wear, if they are not allowing you to see the world as it really is, maybe you are due for a new prescription too.

Best wishes on your journey.

With respect and love,

Kaitlin

April 25, 2018

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

April 25, 2018

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

 

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No One Is Immune To The Effects Of A Low “Respect Level”

We as Canadians, nor anyone else in the world, are immune to the effects of a low “Respect Level” for one’s own and other people’s lives, further demonstrated by the alleged suspect’s request for the police to shoot him in the head (from article).

Condolences to all and my prayer that people wake up and realize that stronger laws and hiding won’t solve the problem … a world filled with people with high enough “Respect Levels” will because they will value their own and other people’s lives equally and therefore will not desire to harm and kill … others and then themselves, either directly or as a result of their harm to others.

Shared link from The Star

https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2018/04/23/van-strikes-as-many-as-10-pedestrians-at-yonge-and-finch.html

April 24, 2018

 KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

Perspective on “RESPECT and LOVE” From World-Renowned Psychologist Alice Miller and …

“I love my children if I can respect them with all their feelings and their needs and try to fulfill those needs as best as I can. If I see them not as persons whose rights are just as sacrosanct as my own, but as objects that I have to correct, then that is not love.”

Free From Lies Discovering Your True Needs, Alice Miller, p 223

“Most parents don’t want to hurt their children; they do it automatically, by repeating that they themselves learned when they were small. We can help them to refrain from this destructive behavior by explaining to them why it is so destructive. Then they can wake up and make a choice.”

Free From Lies Discovering Your True Needs, Alice Miller, p 240

The introduction and study of Alice Miller’s body of work changed and played a big role in healing my life. Fueled by my deep compassion for all people, what I learned about respect and love from Alice Miller inspired my development of the Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle concept, company, books, products, services, and global initiative. My compassion and respect for everyone, plus my understanding of what needs to change in our world drives me every day to keep moving forward with this body of work that will hopefully help many others as Alice helped so many too.

April 14, 2018

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

One Of The Most Riveting and Shocking …

One of the most riveting and shocking … plus a perfect example of what the deadly mix of low “Respect Levels,” opportunity, and the wrong people for a job have done … and still do.

https://www.facebook.com/WindRiverMovie/videos/144850562742389/

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

If We Are As Smart As We Like To Think We Are …

If we are as smart as we like to think we are, would we be treating each other and our world the way we do considering the consequences our choices make us live with?

April 10 2018

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

 

DEPRESSION RELIEF … No Money Required

Depression kills.

The obvious result of depression is suicide, but there are those who do not want to go out alone in the misery, so they commit violent acts, including murder and acts of terror before taking their own lives and/or having someone else take their lives.

But depression also kills in a more subtle manner that not only has long-lasting effects, but is costly in a couple of ways.

Depression takes hostages … can become a lifelong state of living.

Depressed people are not just sad … regardless of how good or bad their life may appear to others, depressed people often feel unfulfilled, dissatisfied, and empty. Contrarily, depressed people often feel resentful and angry, acting out their depression with constant judging, complaining, and sarcasm towards others and against themselves.

Depression can affect anybody and it does affect people from all walks of life because depression does not discriminate.

While appearing quite successful in my early thirties, with a heavy feeling of sadness, frustration, and surprise, I booked an appointment with a psychiatrist because that was the common course of action. Within minutes I was handed a prescription because the doctor said I was clinically depressed, meaning the depression had sunk into my body and my body would need help. Something in the pit of my stomach knew pills were not the answer, so after I walked out of his office door, I threw the prescription in the trash and never looked back.

The first person I headed for was my mother, who told me things about my past I had not remembered … surprising, even shocking things that were like pieces of a puzzle clicking into place, making things and me make more sense. I was elated.

But not everyone felt the same way. No one wanted to talk about what I needed to talk about. However, my employer offered an employee assistance program providing paid-for services to help their employees stay healthy in all ways and I needed someone to talk with me to help me understand my state of being and how to change it.

No quick fixes, but the time spent opened my mind, not only to my buried wounds, but also my buried dreams. Dreams about who I really wanted to be … who I really was underneath the weight of all I had become to look normal, happy, and successful based on people’s expectations.

The psychological experience, though daunting, often painful, and even shocking righted the course of my life, well, at least put me on the best path for me.

Not everyone was happy. In fact, I lost a lot of friends and family, but they liked who I had become not who I really was.  And frankly, they were also very confused as was I.

But I was happier than I had been.

I did not have all the answers and the journey to fully become the person I knew I could and wanted to be was a rough, rocky road, filled with many detours and pitfalls, but I was developing the ability to respect myself and do as I needed to do, rather than just what other people thought was best for me.

The science of psychology, rather than pharmaceuticals, served me well … until I hit the wall.

The wall was built out of emotions I was not yet equipped with to handle in a healthy way.

You may be familiar with the saying, “If I only knew then what I know now …” I am not sure of the source of the saying, but the truth I am sure has coursed through many minds as people discover the truth wisdom reveals.

Reaching beyond science, I turned to the metaphysical world of study looking for a more sound way to deal with the tumultuous sea life is for us all. Up and down round and round our emotions throw us. Shutting down and ignoring emotions, I knew from experience, was not the answer, but just another problem … as was the world and all the horrible things inflicted on people.

Meditation and quieting the mind did not work for this very active, creative, problem-solving mind, though I felt the benefits of yoga and my walking meditation. Still, as I grew more into me, I wanted something not yet defined.

Then it hit me when I saw a movie titled, “The Longest Spear.” I wanted what one of the lead women had as she stood vulnerable, yet filled with faith and love to bear whatever the consequences may be for being where she was and doing what she was doing. Terrified, she stood her ground peacefully and I watched with wonder and amazement as the true story unfolded.

I would like to tell you I achieved her level of peace that day, but I did not because I fought against what it was going to take me to acquire the peace she had and I hungered for. I fought for years. I fought with my logic and practicality. I fought with my rational mind. I fought with my religious scars.

But then I gave up the fight because I wanted peace more than anything else.

I wanted to be able to go to sleep at night without worry keeping me awake. I wanted to wake up in the morning and be able to embrace the day. I wanted to not be swung around by my emotions caught up in the whirlwinds and tornadoes of life, other people’s dramas, and what is going on in our world.

As someone driven to research and learn, going straight to the source I realized was the one avenue I had not yet pursued and it was time I did.

Reading the Bible is not easy, especially if we start with the Old Testament, which is all about the times before Jesus came. There was a lot of nasty stuff happening and the good it seemed not so visible. Discovery of what is called an amplified Bible (I bought Joyce Meyer’s Everyday Bible) finally made the Bible more accessible, helping me work with my wounds and angst about abuse and violence in a healthier way so I could read the Bible to soak up the good news.

The whole idea of the Bible is that it is a learning device to help us develop a personal relationship with God. And the only way the Bible tells us we can have a personal relationship with God is by going through Jesus.

You can believe in God and not believe in Jesus, but why would we choose not to believe in Jesus when believing in Jesus connects us directly with God and provides us with the peace we need to live in this world unafraid, worry-free, respectfully, and lovingly?

“Peace I leave with you,” Jesus said. The only price we have to pay is giving up our ego’s misguided idea we have to know and do everything for ourselves, plus the misguided idea life is just misery. When we discover and accept God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is on our side we discover the joy and wonder of life.

What dies instead of us is depression’s hold on us … this I share with you as my truth with the hope you too will break free of depression’s hold upon you and live as you were meant to live … free to choose what rules us.

April 11, 2018

1244 words

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015