Because of circumstances I did not know how to handle as a young teen, I dropped out of school to marry at sixteen someone who would save me. No children involved.
The violence started verbally, then grew increasingly physical to the point of a brutal, violent rape … all this suffered at the hands of a a handsome, charming, yet jealous and insecure man, who was made sterile by his father’s physical attack on him at fourteen when he stepped in to stop the assault on his mother after his dad pushed her down the stairs.
Years later, after a second non-physically abusive marriage and subsequent divorce, I briefly dated a fellow also very broken by his childhood experiences, but when his circumstances became dire I offered to share an apartment so we could both get on our feet financially. But, as time rolled on, verbal abuse became the norm, until one day he threw something and almost hit my little cat. I realized it was time to get out. He was also dating a married woman and I was also concerned about becoming collateral damage if an angry husband showed up.
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Learning I was attracting such partners because of my own brokenness and my resulting willingness to accept such treatment came from understanding I needed to learn how to respect myself enough to not just walk away when in danger, but to heed the signs before getting involved with other low “Respect Level” people. Not that I won’t help them, but I no longer need to be in a personal or professional relationship with them.
I also know too, we can’t help people who don’t want help … all we can do is model what self-respect and respect for others looks like, and if necessary, contact the people who can help in ways we cannot.
Please share my story because it may just be what someone needs to read for them to be safe.
PLEASE NOTE: If you are in an abusive relationship of any kind, do not act defiant. Be smart. Be respectful of your own life and those in your care by seeking help in your community from people who can be trusted.
KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER
Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist
Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle
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