Putting down others is a cultural past time. In fact, sometimes it looks as though criticizing, judging, and condemning others is a recreational sport of sorts.
Ashamedly I confess, I played the condemnation game for a long time. I was quick to point out what was wrong with others and still have to check myself from engaging in the game.
Admittedly, I discovered I played the game because I was taught by experience. I was taught by the experience of others criticizing, judging, and condemning me for my differences, so I got in on the game.
I got so good that before most people could even begin an assault, I had already won and walked away.
Makes for a lonely existence, especially if you don’t want to be surrounded by people playing the same game.
In other words, I had to stop playing the cruel game born of insecurity and fear.
The bad habit was like breaking any addiction. First there was denial. Then justification and rationalization. Some temper tantrums fueled by a lot of anger … at others for the deception and cruelty and at myself for going along with what I knew was wrong … because I knew how it felt to be on the receiving end.
But until I got the help I needed, which for me was research and study, I kept going in circles without much success in dealing with people dishing out and also no longer participating.
Along the way, I discovered who I really was and what I wanted to do.
And wow, though I previously thought I had experienced quite a bit of the three with my non-average personality type made much more complicated by some very traumatic experiences, I really was not prepared for the onslaught being an original would attract.
Even more surprised I was when I started sharing how developing a personal relationship with God through studying the Bible (an amplified version has made it more user-friendly) gave me the courage I needed to keep forging ahead on my unique path.
Lots of psychology books helped me, but since my path of becoming the writer I was meant to be also included what I was experiencing spiritually, I had to turn to other people to stay on track rather than get derailed by those, for whatever their personal reasons are, choose not to believe in God and his desire to be actively engaged in our lives.
Joyce Meyer, an American televangelist reminded me in her book, Trusting God Day By Day, to “Quit Picking On Yourself.” She shares how Paul’s faithfulness (page 63) was questioned and his reaction. “I do not care what you think. I do not even judge myself,” because he knew if he got out of line for the purpose given him, God would correct him.
Not anyone else could correct him because he was working directly with God.
As I now am, so whatever others believe, say, or do no longer determines my reactions and destiny.
Of course, this also precludes me from criticizing, judging, and condemning other people too, so I have to self-monitor to keep old habits at bay.
Instead, I am to educate, inspire, and even entertain people to motivate them to stop wasting their valuable life time on things that is not theirs to do anything about and to encourage them to engage when it is theirs to do something about.
Not that does not mean we don’t step in when others are harming others. That we must do in whatever capacity we are called to do also.
One of the greatest rewards from no longer playing the criticizing, judging, and condemning game is the freed gift of time so I can pursue what is mine to pursue.
It’s a “live let live” mentality we all need to thrive … peacefully.
June 18, 2018
KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER
Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist
Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle
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