The attached New York Times articles packs a punch of information for us to comprehend why many older Americans (and Canadians) are filing for bankruptcy and what we can do to prevent it for ourselves.
But there are a few other precursor reasons not mentioned in the article.
For me, they include other key influencing factors. such as the post traumatic stress I experienced in my thirties. Until then, I had mostly been able to suppress the memories and their related emotions, but they finally pushed their way to the surface in my life with such force I had to seek help.
With the means, an employee benefit, to work with a psychologist to help me process and with the consequences of the sexual abuse, abuse, bullying, and violence I experienced earlier in my life, great change resulted.
Not only did I begin the healing process from my experiences, with the bad memories came the good. I began rediscovering me … my unique talents, gifts, and dreams. Unfortunately, they did not fit in with my established relationships, including a marriage of over fifteen years. My then husband just wanted things … and me to stay the same. After all, between us we were pulling in over one hundred thousand dollars a year, co-owned with the bank a suburb home, drove two vehicles, ate out often, camped in Algonquin every summer, and did some international traveling.
I wanted to get out of debt by selling the house and moving into an apartment so I could explore different career paths as a writer.
It was not his fault. He thought what he was getting as a wife was the person I had become in order to be safe and accepted.
It really was not my fault either because I really did not know what else to do, until many years later. And to tell you the truth, it’s been a long, arduous journey of healing.
But back to the story …
I tried to go back to being what he wanted. Took a considerably less paying job that left me more free time to write. However, it’s funny/sad how things turn out. I met a co-worker who liked me as the poet, the writer, etc. For the first time I was being me and someone else thought I was cool.
Still teetering on the edge of healing, without planning, I bolted out of my marriage and secure home into an apartment. Within a few years, I had made a mess of things and was in an even worse state emotionally than I had ever been. Confidence and hope was gone. People were disappointed and angry with me. I was broke, had to sell my car, and eventually decided my only way out was bankruptcy.
But in the state I was in, I could not handle the hounding calls of people wanting the money I had used to make up for the low wages I was working for and I could not see myself going back to what I had been doing before.
I wanted to take a different path. I also needed to get away from the need of people’s approval. Of course, as wounded as I was, along the way, I made other bad choices in jobs I took and people I let into my life, but I was determined to make it on my own.
The good news I stayed out of debt, living on what I earned and/or bartered.
That is, until in 2011 I discovered my Dad needed me for the last few years of his life.
With both of us unprepared financially to deal with health and care challenges, I had to go into debt, around fifteen thousand dollars, to live in his town, be his driver, 24-hour on-call support that also resulted in my not being able to work, and having to move into my brother’s basement.
During the last few extremely stressful and painful years of his life, the hounding calls pummeled my stretched nerves as well as used up my cell phone time I needed to receive calls from Dad’s residences.
In March 2015, Dad finally stopped fighting and chose peace.
The toll on my health was extreme. Two years were needed to catch up on the rest I needed for my body and mind to be restored. The last year has been about resuming the work, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle, I had started in 2014 before Dad’s life took a major turn for the worse.
Now, it’s time for me to move back into the mainstream of things. Move out of the friend’s place I have stayed the past two years by working for her to pay my keep. It is time to return to Toronto to live and work so I can pay my debts, rather than file for bankruptcy, plus to write and build my company when I am not working for others.
I can and will do this. I have always been able to do well at whatever I take on, but what I have had to learn most is to respect myself enough to look at all the options and make the best choices for me and those I impact.
No, I will not file for bankruptcy. Yes, my credit rating will be restored. And no, just because I was impoverished does not mean I did criminal acts. On the contrary, as my Respect Level has risen, I am proud of how strong, innovative, adaptable, and resilient I have become in getting my needs met … without any criminal or disrespectful acts. Yes, I am moving back to Toronto to earn above-poverty wages. Yes, I will work for someone else until my debts are paid, I am a successful writer and/or my own company is profitable enough to support me and my company’s goals.
The next step is up to the employer who sees me for all I am … one of the best employees you will ever have because I won’t accept a job just to work, but because I believe the job is the best fit for both of us … because I look forward to helping you too.
Kaitlin Ann Trepanier
CONNECTING THE DOTS WITH THE RESPECT PRINCIPLE
Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist and Speaker
© All Rights Reserved 2018
NOTE: Kaitlin’s Smashwords interview and Ebooks available at www.smashwords.com
August 15, 2018
Link to article …