“Child psychologists affirm that every child has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to be emotionally stable. Among these emotional needs, none is more basic than the need for love and affection, the need to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted … Without that love, he or she will be emotionally and socially challenged.”
“Inside every child is an “emotional tank” waiting to be filled with love . When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty “love tank” Dr. Ross Campbell.”
“As I listened, I thought of the hundreds of parents who had paraded the misdeeds of their children through my office, I had never visualized an empty love tank inside those children, but I certainly seen the results of it. Their misbehavior was a misguided search for the love they did not feel. They were seeking love in all the wrong places and in all the wrong ways.”
Excerpts from pages 23 and 24 of Gary Chapman’s book.
Like Ashley’s mother and stepfather, my parents provided for my physical needs, but they did not understand my deep emotional struggle because they did not speak my primary love language, which was also complicated by my personality type that is estimated to only be 3-5% of the American population, which includes my less common learning and communication style. Because of my experience and the consequences, I am sharing Gary’s marriage counseling wisdom to help people keep love alive in a marriage and in all relationships, including relationships with one’s children.