Becoming the Writer I Knew as a Child I Was Supposed to Be

How many of us knew as a child what we wanted to be when we grew up?

Though many of us go through phases as we discover the big world beyond the small world we grew up with, some of us, even many of us inherently know what it is right for us to do. Unfortunately in our world, respect for an individual and their uniqueness is low while respect for money is the highest.

The disastrous result is many people get lost along the way. They lose sight of what is most important to them, what makes them feel good about themselves, what fuels excitement about life, what gives them hope, teaches them perseverance, and rewards them with satisfaction.

Instead people fill their dissatisfying lives with everything that will never satisfy them because the one thing they want they deny themselves because of outside pressure that eventually becomes internalized.

Not only do individuals suffer, but so does everyone else. Social service, judicial and health care costs increase as does the dark element born of denying the essence of who we really are.

The journey back to me required years of unravelling the multiple layers a complicated life filled with much pain and trauma made even more difficult because of my unusual and severely misunderstood Personality Type. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) psychological profiling tool recently pulled together all the bits and pieces of my painful fragmented life empowering me to finally heal on all levels.

Over twenty years ago, a glimpse of what I felt like inside I wrote in a little poem called Dusted Dreams. As I write this, I don’t have the poem with me right now because I am living in a shelter and two-thirds of my belongings are in storage at the last place I lived and worked. The poem’s imagery reveals the beginning of my quest to put myself back together again, to find again my hidden, buried dreams and my true self.

With all my fragments brought back into the light, making me whole again, I have finally been able to access the memory that when I was eight years old is when I knew I wanted to be a writer. I don’t know if I described myself that way, but I know I loved telling stories. I also know that is when the message that being a writer was not a real job. Real jobs were physical jobs with paychecks, not creating stories.

I am now 64 and the price I have paid for denying the essence of who I really am broke me financially several times, but first it broke my spirit to the point that I have lived most of my life depressed, angry, and resentful.

The MBTI, originally defined by one of the leaders of the science of psychology and philosophy, Carl Jung, explained that my Personality Type, an INFJ, as Introverted, Intuitive, Feeler, and Judger.

To put this information in context, in contrast to an Extrovert’s brain that requires continual external stimulation to stay engaged, an Introvert’s brain is highly stimulated internally, and as a result, can become overstimulated when around too many Extroverts or too much external stimulation of any kind. Hence, Introverts need to spend a lot of time alone to prevent over stimulation and exhaustion.

The Intuitive component of my Personality Type reveals I operate on intuition versus sensing the world as Sensors do. This quality also contributes to my living in my head more than people who live lives dominated by their physical senses.

Being a Feeler means being highly sensitive and emotional, which like any quality, has its good and bad aspects. Being attuned to emotions of myself and others makes me very empathetic and compassionate, yet without knowing for years how to balance experiencing the emotions and using their strength in a good way, I either repressed many of my emotions or let them fly in bouts of resentment and anger. These days I allow myself to just feel, not judge, the emotions, let them out safely, even if it means I may look weak or like a fool in front of others because now I know how to manage them once they have been identified and processed. The bonus is they certainly add to creating compelling writing.

Being a Judger, among other qualities results in my having excellent organizational talent, whether in performing tasks, in leadership that get things done, and/or to see the big picture, its implications, and details.

If you want to know more about the MBTI, I strong recommend the user-friendly books of Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, consultants who have worked for years with organizations and education to help with recruiting and selection processes. They have also written several books, including one for parents to help them understand and to nurture their child’s uniqueness.

Now put back together, I see the writer I knew I was supposed to be. Am I that writer yet? No, but now I am studying different books to become her.

The other barrier I have had to accept is that by skipping all of grade nine, quitting high school in the middle of grade ten was not compensated for by my English studies in Business College or my essay writing in my first year of university. Though I achieved high 80’s in both, what pulled my marks down was my lack of English Standard knowledge and skill. I was also informed that I only received an Honourable Mention for Literature in a university-adjudicated short story contest because though my story was compelling my writing was not good enough.

Facing and accepting the limitations my injured spirit made, now I am learning from Robert W. Harris in his book Why Good People Write Bad Sentences: 12 St5eps to Better Writing Habits about how to dis-empower the impairing emotional and psychological baggage that developed because of the rejection, denial, and suppression of me as a writer. Clearing out what has been holding me back from becoming not only a healthy writer, but a great writer is restoring my spirit, confidence, and commitment.

Other books waiting to be absorbed are Write to the Point: A Master Class on the Fundamentals of Writing for Any Purpose by Sam Leith, Barron’s Grammar in Plain English, and my two favourite books, a dictionary and a thesaurus. It is also interesting to note that I gave up reading for fun because of people making fun of my love of words and that in grade school, spelling, along with arithmetic, were the two subjects I achieved 100% consistently.

One day, I will also bridge the gaps of mathematics knowledge I missed in high school so I can study abstract mathematics that I have held a fascination for as long as I can remember. In the meantime, my business mathematics will have to keep me satisfied while I focus on becoming the writer I knew I was supposed to be.

What about you?

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Advocate Innovator Writer Social Entrepreneur & Founder

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

May 31, 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thank You Visitors and Followers from Around the World

Every day yields a surprise and a smile for me when I check this blog’s statistics and discover someone from India, Spain, Thailand, France, Canada, the United States, the Philippines, the Netherlands, and many other countries who dropped in to see what’s new at Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle.

I want you to know how much I value your presence in my life. Thank you.

I hope you are receiving what you need to make you smile too.

Sincerely,

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Advocate Innovator Writer Social Entrepreneur & Founder

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

May 31, 2019

 

 

Mentor Search for Founder and President of a For-Profit Social Business Venture

You are a highly successful compassionate leader seeking a new challenge, without all the responsibility of a new venture of your own.

If you desire to mentor an innovator that developed a unique and powerful global initiative to raise humanity’s standard of living, your search is over. Discover the breadth and scope by reviewing this site. If Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle’s mission resonates with you, contact me through LinkedIn messaging.

Thank you for interest. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Advocate Innovator Writer Social Entrepreneur & Founder

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

 

 

Discover Who is Rewriting the Business Leader Playbook and Why

Click the link below to watch and listen

https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6537025483777810432/

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Advocate Innovator Writer Social Entrepreneur & Founder

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

May 24, 2019

Why Self Discovery is the KEY to SUCCESS on All Levels

WHY SELF DISCOVERY is KEY to SUCCESS on ALL LEVELS

If I knew the whole of me earlier, plus had the courage and confidence to be me all my life, my life now would look immensely different.

Flashing back in time, the three tribes I would have joined early in life were the nerds, the artists, and the athletes because I love to learn, am highly creative, and inherited a strong drive to be athletic.

If nurtured to discover and embrace my inherent talents at a young age, plus to discover the many different avenues my talents and passions could lead me to, I would likely have acquired three degrees. The first degree would be in English and liberal arts, empowering me to be the writer I did know at a young age I wanted to be, rather than the pressure to bury such a “foolish” venture. Another degree would be in the fields of humanities, social science and psychology. The third would have been a masters in business administration.

A lifetime later, the patchwork of my history reveals that though I did not gain the degrees, I certainly gained diverse knowledge, and yes, even expertise, in these fields of study.

Let me show you by providing a very different style of resume I created, not just for a job I applied for, but for me to put my experiences in perspective and to shed light on my inherent and developed skills.

RESUME

Early Years

  • “A” student in elementary school, but by junior high school, my unusual personality type resulted in experiencing social challenges at home and in school so I quit at age sixteen to marry. No children though
  • Divorced and remarried. By age 21, promoted to Assistant Manager at People’s department store, plus did payroll, banking, and closed store. Left because of area supervisor’s sexual harassment
  • Hired as part-time cashier at Krupps, promoted within a few months to full time and Head Cashier. Hired, trained, and scheduled fifteen part-time and full time cashiers. Closed and opened safe and store, balanced cash, banking, customer accounts, and accounts payable. Promoted to Executive Assistant. Proposed and wrote policies and procedures training manual. Management Team member that contributed to the business doubling in size and sales over seven years
  • Efficiency and effectiveness abilities empowered me to cut my workweek from five to four days to take on another role as an Aerobics Instructor. Later promoted to Area Supervisor
  • Worked with the owner’s chartered accountant. Acquired GED. Applied and accepted into Westervelt College, London for the Business Administration program

Middle Years

  • Graduated with Honours, awarded “Outstanding Student Cooperation” by faculty, plus received first year exemption from the Certified General Accountant’s program.  Served as Newsletter Editor and Copywriter, plus elected as Student Council Treasurer. Team member for the development of a sales and marketing board game
  • Relocated to Toronto and recruited by Levi Strauss & Co. (Canada) Inc. as the Financial Planning Budget Clerk. Responsible for assisting the team of three planners with the company’s five-year forecast by developing spreadsheets to download database information for ease of reporting. Also monitored and reported on capital expenditures
  • Recruited by Operations department as a Production Planner for the company’s contractors. For five years served as the daily liaison between several contractor production facilities across Canada and between several internal departments. Visited contractor sites in Toronto, Three Rivers in Quebec, and Vancouver to train contractor managers on updating our database with production numbers, plus as raw and finished goods auditors during inventory counts
  • Proposed, developed, co-implemented, and trained nine planners on the automated (spreadsheet) master production schedule we used to download database forecasts to plan production. Process eliminated one week per month from the monthly planning cycle. My efforts were recognized for above-an- beyond-the-call-of-duty performance in the company’s international newsletter
  • Concurrently worked with a psychologist to deal with early traumas. Encouraged to enrol into university. Accepted into York University Bachelor of Science program, psychology major, social sciences minor for part-time studies
  • Recruited as Human Resources Salary and Budget Manager Assistant. Also supported the human resources assistants and the HRIS database, plus processed executive expense reports, managed the employee service awards, and served as secretary to the job evaluation team
  • Proposed a team-building workshop to the director for the head office and production facilities’ human resources managers and their human resources assistants. Worked with consultant on the planning and delivering the two-day program
  • Also concurrently, for six of the seven years with Levi’s, served as volunteer Treasurer and member of the Community Involvement Team
  • Left Levi’s to pursue full-time university studies

Later Years

  • Essay writing and my writing accomplishments rekindled a childhood passion. Published, including professionally by the university, libraries, trade magazines, and anthologies, one of which was dedicated to Lake Huron communities that also included a press event with all the contributing authors and poets
  • Discussion with my humanities professor resulted in my leaving university to re-evaluate what I really wanted to do versus what I could do, plus how I wanted to help people. As a result, worked various low level jobs to take time and explore possibilities
  • Evening and weekend Mackenzie Gallery Storefront Manager for four years. Upsold owner and framer sales by providing customers with diverse and more original, expensive framing options for prints and original artwork. Responsible for customer accounts, banking, hiring, training, and hosting artist signing events, with celebrity wildlife artists such as Robert Bateman
  • Put writing on the back burner and focused on design and communication arts at Durham College. Switched to visual arts at George Brown with relocation to Toronto. Two courses are pending for my diploma. However, even before my art studies, I was awarded an Ontario Arts Council Exhibition Grant for one of my solo exhibitions. Sourced unusual spaces and libraries for solo exhibitions, joined art councils, and participated in juried art exhibitions. Started my own company, Kaitlin Ann Originals that resulted from my year-long participation in a self-employment program
  • Developed public speaking skills through Toastmasters and miscellaneous events
  • Performed in Ontario schools as an eight-foot puppet to a pre-recorded show
  • Worked for a family as a barn worker, groom, and exerciser with their competition heavy horses
  • Resumed writing when inspired to create a play, Charles Choice, for schools to address bullying in schools. The play is now part of my own company’s books and products and will be used as means for a production and video contest
  • Won Honourable Mention, Literature, for a Toronto short story contest
  • Founded two non-profits, Trees in Our Community and It is All About Respect Inc.  Discovered for-profit social business ventures are better means to independently achieve mission and goals. The same thesis for It is All About Respect Inc. now serves as the foundation for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle
  • Basic French Level I in continuing education studies

CONCLUSION

Even without conscious intent in some cases, I was inherently drawn to what was in my heart to do with my talents, but without a high enough “Respect Level” to foster the confidence to follow my heart, I have lived a life well below my abilities. Next to helping people, I have placed my most important passion, writing, on the bottom of my to-do list.

Yes, I do write, but I have tried to use my creativity in the wrong way in writing because I did not know better. I mistakenly thought my creative approach to format versus excellent use and knowledge of Standard English would compensate for my lack of confidence and skill development. My natural talent for spelling, always 100% in elementary and middle school, was not enough to compensate for the English Standard foundational knowledge I did not acquire because I did not attend high school. Yes, I acquired my GED, but instead of a high 80’s mark at Westervelt College, I could have achieved a high 90’s mark. With a solid Standard English foundation, I could have achieved more A’s and A+’s at York University for my essays rather than B’s and B+’s. As a professional writer, I would be more successful by now also if I had valued myself and my passions enough to pour my energy and focus on becoming a very good writer, and even a great writer.

Finally placing my passion and talent for writing on the same level as helping others, plus learning how to balance both with healthy boundaries has arrived. Yes, there is work to be done, but as the key creative, artistic director, founder, and president for my social business venture, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle, and its vast bank of intellectual capital I have and have yet to create means investing in the company’s primary asset, me as the writer and source of all its intellectual capital, is top priority as is writing for anyone with the same passion to help people of all ages.

Having the degrees to validate my knowledge would have opened more doors sooner, but the knowledge, experience, and expertise I have gained, regardless of the manner I have gained them, will open the right doors and the work I set out to do will still be accomplished because that is how I am built.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Advocate Innovator Writer Social Entrepreneur & Founder

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

May 21, 2019

Revised May 23, 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a World Dominated by “EXTROVERTS,” an “INTROVERT” Funnily Shares Her Experience

 

In a world dominated by “Extroverts,” whose brains thrive on non-stop chatter and activity around them, “Introverts” often seem puzzling to “Extroverts,” even to the point sometimes that “Introverts” are targeted because of misunderstanding. Susan eloquently and funnily shares what it’s like to be an “Introvert” in an “Extroverted” world.

Discover the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) Personality Typing psychological profile test to learn more about the people not like you, especially your loved ones or coworkers.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Advocate Innovator Writer Social Entrepreneur & Founder

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

May 15, 2019

“The best innovations are those that are staring us in the face, we just don’t know how to recognize them.”

Discover what Digital Ethnography is and what Ujwal Arkalgud knows that makes his company, MotivIndex, unusual and unusually successful.

https://www.b2bnn.com/2016/11/digital-ethnography-motivindex-ujwal-arkalgud/

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Advocate Innovator Writer Social Entrepreneur & Founder

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

May 11, 2019