From Gentle Souls to Monsters

History and science teach us that unacknowledged, unprocessed pain can transform even the gentlest of souls into monsters of all kinds, so we need a more enlightened and aware approach to how we treat each other … especially those closest to us … because love should not hurt, makes us feel bad about ourselves, etc. and if it does, it is likely not love we are acting on, but something else.

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 28, 2020

 

 

“An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator”

By Kendra Cherry for Very Well Mind

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-myers-briggs-type-indicator-2795583?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=shareurlbuttons&fbclid=IwAR1chNXdNLmwdSNN618-_oUccerNt42WHnYjpqnpAoi0teCXC8GhkJJTQSY

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 19, 2020

 

How Long Would It Take You … ?

With no interest in naming names or laying blame, but in changing the culture that permits disrespecting … devaluing … exploiting people for their own gain, with the intent to harm, or just through carelessness, and as part of the final stage of my healing, here is my question for you …
How long would it take you to get over the following experiences?
Smacks on head, yardstick broken over your head by a teacher, a teacher kicking your desk and your sliding to the floor, bullying, sexual abuse, sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, and resulting fugue states (loss of memory to block out traumas).
Plus, other head injuries also due to accidents caused by other people including being popped of the back of a motorcycle, t-boned in a car and on a bicycle, and the list goes on.
Also complicating matters is being an unusual personality type (within only 6-8% of the American population) and therefore considered wrong for being different from the majority, making me an easy target, made even worse because of my impaired social skills and emotional intelligence due to the harmful experiences from childhood through adulthood..
Often told I have so much potential, which revealed itself at times, including being an A student, I could not realize that potential until my emotional intelligence equalled my intellectual intelligence, which it finally has by my not giving up, by my connecting the dots to clearly see what was in my way and by the grace of God that empowered me to live through what I have, to heal completely, and to help other people do the same … and to change the culture allowing and even fostering heinous acts by breaking the cycles of victimization.
And finally, I can acknowledge, as hard as my life has been because of what I endured, I am one of the lucky ones … driven to understand and capable of doing so … but what about the many who are not and instead stay on the dark path that ultimately takes their life?
Which is why I do what I do … because everyone matters.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 15, 2020

The Whole Truth Behind “Wives Obey Your Husbands”

Many religions and people extract Biblical excerpts for their own motives and purposes. One of the ones often quoted, partially, is this one:

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, (subordinate and adapt yourself to them) as is right and fitting and your proper duty to the Lord.” Colossians 3:18

But what many people, men mostly, do is omit or disregard is the following Colossians 3:19-22:

“Husbands, love your wives (be affectionate and sympathetic with them) and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful towards them.”

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.”

“Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children (do not be hard on them or harass them), lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. (Do not break their spirit.)

Servants, obey in everything, those who are your earthly masters, not only when their eyes are on you as pleasers of men, but in simplicity of purpose (with all your heart) because of your reverence for the Lord and as a sincere expression of your devotion to Him.

I agree with Joyce Meyer’s sentiments, “If everyone would obey these instructions, think of the peace and joy that would fill each of our homes. There would be no divorce.” quoted from The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer (pages 60:61)

What about you?

And hey, check what follows after Colossians 3:22 … Colossians 3:23, 24 because it is even more important to women so we do not give up our personal lives for a husband … because though a man is to be head of the household, he is not head of a woman’s life  … God is.

“Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul) as (something done) for the Lord and not for men.

Knowing (with all certainty) that it is from the Lord (and not from men) that you will receive the inheritance which is your (real) reward. (The One Whom) you are actually serving (is) the Lord Christ (the Messiah).

Isn’t this something to know and use if someone tries to control our life?

Joyce wraps it up beautifully with “Notice too there is no mention at all of one member, only doing what is right if the others do. No, each member is responsible for their part. Each of us will stand before God and give an account of our lives. (Romans 14:12) We will not be asked about another person, but only ourselves. Each of us should strive to do the right thing even if we are the only one willing to do so. This greatly honors God and will be rewarded in due time.”

Just one more reason to go to the source and get the whole truth for yourself.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

April 18, 2020

 

 

 

 

How Do We Know When We Need Healing?

When respect and love for ourselves and others is conditional instead of unconditional.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

January 29, 2020

 

“The 3 Core Skills Needed That Every Person Needs for Healthy Romantic Relationships”

Linked article by Joanne Davila for Ideas.Ted.Com

https://ideas.ted.com/the-3-core-skills-that-every-person-needs-for-healthy-romantic-relationships/?utm_source=pocket-newtab

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Writer, Founder and President of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

November 20, 2019

“You Can Get PTSD From Staying In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship”

Linked article by Jennifer Williams-Fields for the PTSD Journal

https://www.ptsdjournal.com/posts/you-can-get-ptsd-from-staying-in-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/?fbclid=IwAR0aoQuzxf8Gth2fjcKNJL4spUAUlI-Ct–wSNq0YHL8b33C_NEITkvDOoA

CAUTION. Unless recognized and dealt with, l personally know from experience, we are likely to also find ourselves trapped in the pattern of attracting the same kind of unhealthy, limiting, and even dangerous relationships and/or developing unhealthy, dangerous ways to cope with what we think we have to live with. And please don’t let anyone convince that you you made your bed and now have to live with it-at any cost.

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Writer, Founder and President of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

November 6, 2019

“How Couples Can Sustain A Strong Sexual Connection For A Lifetime”

 

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Writer, Founder and President of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

September 28, 2019

“Money Talk: She makes triple his salary”

“Peter: [Now that we’re married] we both have the same viewpoint on what we want to spend money on, and most of the time it’s not stuff, it’s experiences.”

“Vanessa: I haven’t made the comparison of how much disposable income or purchasing power I have now to buy things like shoes and bags vs. what I did when I was single. I want to say that it’s actually increased, at least that’s how it feels, because there’s just a financial benefit to being married. You’re spending as much money, or maybe more, if you’re cooking for one person than if you’re cooking for two. That’s where the savings really is. His additional $40,000 contributes to our pooled income, but we only need to buy one bedspread. That’s where it feels like both of our purchasing power has increased by combining our incomes.”

Quotes and linked article by Nicole Dieker for Vox

https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/9/3/20812244/partner-marriage-outearn-spouse-imbalance

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Writer, Founder and President of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

September 10, 2019