Raising My “Respect Level” Empowered Me to Examine What Shaped My Life and to Change What Was Not Working for Me But Against Me

Examining the beliefs of others I had accepted, even without awareness, freed me to choose the beliefs that are for me rather than against me.

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Human Rights Activist, Author, Poet, Playwright, and Speaker. Available books, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle and Broken Compass How To Save A Life. The 3rd book in “THE POWER PACK” available May 2022. The school/community play, The Choice, available September 2022. All rights reserved.

Why I Abandoned Christianity and Why I Returned

WHY I ABANDONED CHRISTIANITY and WHY I RETURNED

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, January 20, 2022

Even through the eyes of a child Catholicism and Catholics did not make sense to me. I did not understand that for all the talk of love, the kind of love I experienced hurt. A lot. And my highly curious, investigative, and logical mind could not make sense of the contradictions between words and actions.

Early grade school reports revealed I thrived on learning, demonstrated by my excelling in all areas, but the black and white clothed grade three teacher curbed my learning drive. Her constant frustration with my becoming restless and inattentive with her constant chatter compelled her to ship me off to the corner of the classroom, cloaked in embarrassment and shame. Regular rapping of my knuckles with a ruler fuelled more defiance, but the day she stormed towards me with her brandished yardstick and smashed the wood across my head, she surprised and riotously angered me.

Grade four memories evade me still because by this time I was slipping away from school and home to find peace and quiet in the outdoors, encountering strangers and often not remembering still how I got where I was and whom I had been with.

By grade five in Catholic school, hurt and pain had been transformed to constant defiance lashed out on others in outraged anger, well beyond the scope of the hurt he or she may have inflicted on me. My horror to this day is still wondering if I played a part in upending a female student’s desk with her in it as part of a pact the class bullies decided to inflict upon the one person teased and ostracized more than me. As I stood in the lineup of students to be strapped for their involvement, all boys but me, I recall my wonder when my favourite teacher sent me packing to the office instead. Teasing and taunting grew as my height spiked and towered over most of the males in grades six, seven, and eight in Catholic junior high school and family life still pushed me out of doors, but no longer for peace, but the search for love and acceptance … somewhere.

The idea of being loved by God faded with every passing year and by sixteen was non-existent, pushed to the extreme after a violent marriage that made previous physical disciplines look and feel like taps.

Berated by a priest for my audacity to ask to be married for the second time in my life in his Catholic church sealed God out of my life well into my forties, with the exception of yearly attending Christmas Eve midnight mass with my sister.

Philosophy and new age studies took over my mind for awhile, but no matter what, peace evaded my tortured spirit and soul, so I gave up on believing there was any more to life other than life and doing one’s best with whatever presented itself. Even the second marriage of almost twenty years could not survive because of long-buried hurts, trauma, unforgiveness, deep-seated rage, and never ever truly feeling loved and accepted.

Eventually the deep craving for peace and love would not leave me alone and I found myself entering churches of many different denominations, but old wounds and careful scrutiny kept me at arm’s distance from settling in somewhere. And then there were the constant contradictions red flagging all my and other people’s attempts. The only time I felt comfortable thinking about God was singing in a community choir and eventually a church choir.

What pushed me out of a church faster than anything else were the people who pushed their way into my personal space with invasive questions and uninvited touch.

Finally I gave up walking into churches and turned to the Bible to try and understand unfettered by people, but after the violence I experienced in my lifetime, the Bible’s violence, righteous or not, turned my stomach and my eyes from the words.

Partial to studying, books beckoned as did movies and television shows, such as Touched By An Angel, which took the sting out while teaching softly and gently, until I could finally listen to televangelists whose style and words did not smack of the familiar condemnations, but instead fostered hope while teaching actual Bible truths rather than some people’s adaptations of Bible truths.

The long, winding sojourn back to God has been fraught with the consequences of unbelief and the unrighteous acts of defiance and revenge forged by a lifetime of immense pain, trauma, and loneliness.

My later in life journey also angered many people as they wrote me off as lazy or worse, not able to comprehend as people could not when I was younger because of their lack of knowledge too about different personality types, love languages, learning, and communication styles, plus the wounds the different experience born of ignorance and intolerance. Even now,  their frustration with my choices when I say I asked God and He directed me, startle me as many are Christian believers too, though I now understand their level of belief has not grown as much as mine, in part because of my intense study and relationship development with God, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit in order to actually save my life from the heavy burdens of guilt, judgment, condemnation, and resulting depression.

And just last week, the day following my sixty seventh birthday, God directed me to give up on the project I worked on for seven years to transform respect from a discretionary value to a global principle, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle, to turn instead to helping people with writing what I have learned and starting divinity studies to eventually serve also as a minister.

I share this for anyone who walked away from God or was never even introduced because learning He is for you, especially when no one else is, provides comfort and peace not easily found or experienced in this world.

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Human Rights/Peace Advocate, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle social business Founder/President and Blog Writer, plus Author of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle and Broken Compass How To Save A Life. NEW FOR 2022! Freelance Writing and Divinity College/University. All rights reserved.

Not Even Love Will Keep People Together Because …

In all relationships … love, marriage, family, friends, work, and communities … differences attract because differences complement our strengths and our weaknesses … but it is the shared principles and values that keep people together.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Writer, Artist, and Social Entrepreneur

Founder and President of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

July 20, 2021

“The Power of Hope … Suicide is NOT the Answer”

Drugs and psychology will only get you so far … take the next step and you won’t even need them anymore.

Worked for me!

Just click on the image and listen what this group of people share to help those in desperation or witnessing someone’s fall into darkness …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3dwdUf_0yQ

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Writer, Artist, and Social Entrepreneur

Founder and President of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

July 12, 2021

“How to Build Solid Relationships”

Linked article from TED Ideas 7 Speakers by Kara Cutruzzula

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how-to-build-closer-relationships?utm_source=pocket-newtab

..

Shared by

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

June 3, 2021

Rejection is Never About Your Worth

Rejection is not about our worth … it’s about just not fitting in with some people or bad timing or a number of other reasons … learn more by listening to this linked TED talk by Guy Winch

https://ideas.ted.com/why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-what-to-do-about-it/

Linked article by Brad Stulberg for Pocket on Pocket Worthy

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/what-separates-champions-from-almost-champions?utm_source=pocket-newtab

Shared by

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

May 25, 2021

“How to Support a Loved One or Friend Who’s a Survivor of Sexual Assault”

Linked article by Kendall Keith for TZR

https://www.thezoereport.com/wellness/how-to-support-a-survivor-of-sexual-assault?fbclid=IwAR3SKdRBk4TsMr5VKvCZMd3NKrZ99YXgCdUIFxjEbrIMkUY-XkHB5YXU4UA

One of the most crucial times compassion, empathy, and lack of judgment are needed to help people heal and move on.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

May 22, 2021

Understanding the Big Picture of “Sowing and Reaping”

Limited minds and experiences often don’t understand the full scope of sowing and reaping.

I certainly did not. In my youth, when my lack of truthful knowledge about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, plus very harmful experiences turned me away from God, I had no idea of the real consequences. Then, and for years later, as I worked my way back to Him, I sought to understand why He did not prevent what happened to me, starting in childhood. I could not fathom why He allowed me to become so devastated and depressed most of my life. And even when I cried out to Him 25 years ago and said, “Take me home or give me a purpose,” I had no idea of the work I would have to do and He would have to do in and through me as He brought me back to my true self.

Because I had grown so weary, for some time, I have asked Him to take me home (suicide never an option … the only good thing that came out of my Catholic upbringing because with my experiences I thought earth was hell and I wanted to be freed from it, not live in it for eternity). Last night was no different as I cried a little more, but stopped because I know He wants me to stop crying and just keep doing as He has asked. I think of all that has to be done, the money, the people, and I stumble in faith … but this morning He answered my prayer by using the words from a pastor I don’t usually watch.

As I was flipping through the channels I paused on Triumph Church as the pastor said, “This message is for someone who needs to hear this right now. You need to stay and pass on, anoint your successor as Elija did Elisha.” The message uplifted my spirit and soul, knowing deep down it was the answer to my prayer … that all my hardships and efforts were not, are not, in vain, that they will serve as the foundation for others to build upon. And as for me, I will be able to pass the lead role on so I can enjoy the life He promised as a creative writer, artist, and much more, including being a loving wife for the rest of my days. Now that’s some sowing and reaping! Amen!

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

May 16, 2021

Perspective Shift This Mother’s Day

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

May 9, 2021

“9 Pieces of Practical Advice About Bullying”

If not dealt with effectively, bullying can …

Linked article by Rebekah Barrett for TED Ideas on Pocket Worthy


https://ideas.ted.com/9-pieces-of-practical-advice-about-bullying/

Shared by …

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

May 8, 2021