We Are Strange Creatures

We are strange creatures indeed! It’s a funny, yet also a sad, thing that I and maybe you have noticed about social media and well, life too …

We share pictures, abstract ideas, personal opinions, emotions, and experiences a variety of information, a lot of negativity, philosophies, politics, and various spiritual beliefs, but nothing else seems to make as many people, even those Joyce calls ‘secret Christians,” uncomfortable and unlikely “to like” a post about believing in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and being excited about it … which is one of those funny, but sad things, because nothing else has brought about so much good into my life, even though right now, tangibly it may not look that way, but inside, oh my, I have never felt so rich, satisfied, peaceful, accepted, loved, and yes, even happy and joyful. But don’t take my word for it … go to the Word itself. … rather than just getting bits of it, often taken out of context or skewed by someone else’s opinion.

And since summer is always a good reading time and more so because of the pandemic, it’s a perfect time to also discover how best to cope with what is happening in our world. What made reading the Bible much easier for me though was reading an amplified Bible, which takes passages and puts them in modern day context. I’ve been using the Joyce Meyer amplified Everyday Bible. Whatever you choose, you will also discover how many people actually reference the Bible, people, and quotes comparable to the way many people people also reference Shakespeare’s writings too.

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

July 27, 2020

 

 

Authority Abusers

Just because someone has authority over someone or a group of people does not mean they have good character … what sometimes happens is people with a low “Respect Level” for his or her self needs to feel empowered by controlling and manipulating others with the, conscious or unconscious, intent to inflict pain that mirrors or is worse than their own. Such a person a group also seeks to elevate themselves above others … which is yet another way prejudice takes hold, grows, and manifests indifference, apathy, hatred, violence, and war.

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

July 22, 2020

 

 

“The Dangerous Downside of Perfection”

The linked article is filled with all the data you need to reconsider how you live or are influencing others to live. There are personal stories too, including mine shared below the link. Happy reading!

Linked article by Amanda Ruggeri for BBC Future on PocketWorthy

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-dangerous-downsides-of-perfectionism?utm_source=pocket-newtab

My Personal Experience with Perfectionism

Because of my unusual personality type, I did not “fit in” unless I was doing everything “perfect” or above average, but the cost was high, especially in the long run. When I finally raised my “Respect Level” high enough, valuing myself equally to others, I quit obsessing with perfect and started focusing on discovering who I was under the perfect image that was killing me with its unreasonable, unrealistic, and painful consequences.

Though my physical and mental health has since improved, a cost was also paid for with the loss of many relationships, but then again, the relationships I had were more based on my meeting other people’s needs and wants, so it really is no surprise that many relationships ended. Now, starting over at the bottom of the life and success scale, with hardly any material possessions or worldly success, the relationships I now develop are based on who I am as a person, rather than what I have accomplished or how perfectly I perform or meet someone’s wants and needs, because I have witnessed first hand what relationships based on performance result in … emptiness, sadness, and an unhealthy striving to be something that I am not … perfect.

Freed from the need to be perfect, I can now just be a unique human … me … exploring my and our world, changing my mind, trying new things, and encouraging myself when I make a mistake or fail ,so I don’t give up on what’s important to me because I don’t get it right the first, second, or twentieth time. It’s a welcome, long-awaited state of being I highly recommend for the bliss imperfection provides.

Written and shared by

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

July 20, 2020

 

Worried About the Economic Impact of the Coronavirus Pandemic?

What every person chooses to do is, as has been said, “A part of the problem or the solution.”

Most of us will never know all the truth about the COVID-19 Pandemic.

Scientists are working to discover how to combat the virus, the spread of the virus, and ultimately the prevention of the virus, yet science takes time, takes trial and error, takes money, takes energy, and a whole lot of patience.

Most of us are not scientists, but patients waiting to be immunized, so our key role is not only being a patient, but a “patient” patient, following the guidance of the health professionals to protect not just ourselves, but also everyone else.

Will some people exploit the pandemic and us? No doubt. But that fact does not mean we should be concerned so much about being exploited as much as we should be concerned about our and everyone’s health … because if we get sick and or die, being exploited will be the least of our concerns … including the financial impact.

And if we want to minimize the pandemic’s financial impact on us, then it comes back to our doing our part to be a part of the solution rather than add to the problem.

It’s our choice. We can be selfish, thinking only of our wants, or we can be selfless, thinking not just of ourselves, but about everyone else … the world we share.

Shared by

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

July 13, 2020

 

Break the Tradition … Not the Children

The fact people are still equally divided on whether a child is acceptable or note, plus the slow-shifting idea that maybe getting smacked was not a good experience is an opportunity to clarify the impact of physical punishment.

To strike means to give a blow to, to hit, to cause to come into forceful contact, to attack. To spank means to strike something with an open hand, especially on the buttocks, as punishment. Violence is physical force so as to injure or damage, is intense powerful force, unjust or callous use of force or power, a violent deed or act. Coles Concise English Dictionary, 1979)

Yes, many people have been spanked because it is a tradition, But also, many people have also received strikes that went well beyond spanking, including slaps across the face, smacks with belts, straps, rulers, yardsticks, whatever was handy for beatings that even resulted in death. Remember, people often take out their frustration and anger on those they “love.”

The problem is not the child or a child’s behaviour. The problem is with with parents, caregivers, and society to refuse to move past a tradition because it is a tradition.

On one hand, I do not understand why people, who take on the tremendous responsibility of raising a child and transforming them into an adult, would not want to take the time to learn from the present knowledge instead of repeating the past. If one was an employed caregiver, we certainly expect them to receive the same knowledge through training and to act accordingly.

On the other hand, my years of research, built on the research of other experts, including Alice Miller, the forerunner who studied how Hitler and others were shaped into the adults they became, revealed our dominant, often unconscious belief people have to earn respect to be considerable valuable.

When it comes to our stuff, if we value it, we treat it with care. How much depends on our own “Respect Level,” which was shaped by our own experiences. How we treat others and children reveals the same.

Even horse training advanced beyond tradition. “Breaking” horses is now considered cruel and unnecessary since “gentling” a horse results, not only in a quicker response, but in a response based on bonding fostering willingness versus fear fostering rebellion.

The final piece of the puzzle is recognizing our differences. One psychological tool, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), reveals there are sixteen personality types, yet we need to consider all the other influencing factors, such as, culture, religion, social status, etc. affecting a family. Considering these and many other factors, we really do not know how physical punishment is going to affect a child.

The truth is striking a child is no longer the smart, compassionate, or respectful thing to do … raising awareness and choosing alternatives is. Let’s break the tradition no longer serving us. Let’s not take the chance and break … then have to repair the children, teens, and adults … physical punishment creates.

Kaitlin A. Trepanier

By permission, this originally published “Letter to the Editor” in the South Bruce Weekender, January 21, 2016, is being published today by the original author to share the contents with a global versus small community audience.

Shared by

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 30, 2020

 

 

 

 

The Love Letter Never Sent

The Love Letter Never Sent

Dear Steve,
Words left unsaid or unwritten have a habit of preventing people from truly moving on. And over the years, people I told about you encouraged me to let go and move on, but I knew they did not really know what I needed to do to process the best and most positive experience and relationship I ever had in my life, so I am writing this letter filled with love for you because it will do one of two things … provide you with the understanding you perhaps need and want to forgive my mistakes and bad behaviour so we can start anew now … or if that does not happen, to provide me with the closure I need to move on and open my heart to the possibility of love with someone else, which has not been possible for me to without writing this letter … because automatically I compare everyone to you.
So here goes Steve …
In my case, what I could not say to you was not because it was not truth, but because of the multiple traumas I experienced, the unhealed wounds, and the absolute terror of loving one as deeply as I did and still do you. My previous experiences with love were conditional, manipulative, controlling, belittling, abusive, sometimes violent, and overall eventually hurtful. A lot of what I experienced was a result of ignorance. Most people I knew or met were more like the majority of people, of which I am not. It turns out that my personality type is very unusual and as a result, is often misunderstood, as is my learning and communication styles, and what people don’t identify with, understand, or like, they can easily disregard or worse.
When I met you, worked with you, and hung out with you over several years, I carefully observed how you treated others as well as me. Experiencing being treated thoughtfully, respectfully, and with unfamiliar tenderness, beyond my initial attraction to you, compelled me to fall deeper and deeper in love with you. Over time, I also realized what I felt was not just a physical attraction, but something more powerful than I ever experienced. I knew our souls were deeply connected because my spirit rejoiced whenever I saw you and/or spent time with you. And for several years, your actions reaffirmed you felt the same.
By the time we met, I had already begun a transformational personal journey to heal and reclaim my true identity and though others around me did not like the changes happening nor valued the real me, you did. You made me feel cherished for the first time since I was a child. I wanted to be near you because being near you felt so good. I wanted your eyes on me and I wanted to wear dresses for you because, unlike with other males, you were appreciative and respectful, rather than forward, lewd, and/or aggressive. You appreciated the whole me, not just my body and it was a wonderful experience.
I loved that I knew it was you walking through the warehouse door rather than someone else. I loved that you used that door more than the other door so you could see me too. I loved that seeing you made me smile inside and out and I loved that other people saw the same in you and even said so. I loved that the one slow dance we shared even though I don’t even recall the song that was playing. All I recall is how the world slipped away when you put your hands on me and glided us across the dance floor. And when you took my hand to walk me over to your table, the electric shock took my breath away and my heart ripped when your hand let go of mine.
There were complications in both our lives and for the first time in my life, I did not even act professional on the job at times. For the first time, my life-preserver, self control, went haywire. I was afraid to lose you, yet also afraid to love you. I did not think I could take one more hit as I was trying to climb out of a pit of despair and desperation I had slid into.
So, acting badly and leaving were the only things I could do to save myself. And even when I reached out, at the same I pulled back, sometimes, as you know, even lashing out with unkind angry words because of the depth of my pain, some caused by you, but mostly by other people before you or people who seemed to be jealous of how much I loved you.
I even tried to forget and erase everything about you, but try as I might, there you always are. I will be reminded of you when I see Gary Cooper, Kevin Costner, or Paul Walker on the screen, not just because of their blue eyes, but because of their character. I will see a Ferrari or Suzuki and I see you. And on and on it goes every day … still.
Healing has taken a long time because of the traumas and repitition of traumas I experienced, plus my burying most of the traumas inside rather than processing them that would heal and transform how I interact with the world. Some experts are even surprised that I have healed at all, which is one reason I returned to believing in God because He has healed me in ways I could not or in ways no one else had been successful at either.
So my dearest forever friend, the most sexiest beautiful man to me, and my belowed, I write this letter for both of us and am posting it publicly because I have developed healthy boundaries that respects your privacy rights, inhibiting me from mailing this letter to you personally. And though I know some people will not approve of my choice to publicly share my thoughts and feelings, it is my choice and my calling to share what might help others and to also reserve the right to keep private what I do not wish to share and the privacy of other people too.
What happens next is in your and God’s hands. I have done what I could by sharing in this letter what I believe might be helpful to you, and perhaps to others, so you can understand what I could not put into words before … at the beach or anywhere else … until now. My hope is you will call at least once more to share your heart and soul along with your truth … whatever it is. After that, I will look forward to seeing you again to see where it might take us or I will finally close that door of hope and trust God with the rest of all my life, including who is going to be there with me on the next phase of my life.
As for what’s been done, I know what it is like to have been hurt deeply, so I am truly sorry for the discomfort and pain I caused you and anyone else. I pray for great joy, peace, and love to fill your life as it increasingly fills mine. Whatever course our lives take, separate or together, please know my love for you will always burn warmly and brightly in my heart Steve because you were the one person who lit my way when I was stumbling in the dark. And in retrospect, I also know God used you to reach me to transform all the bad into good as He has, for which I will always be eternally grateful because each of you played key roles in saving and restoring my life so I wanted you to know that too. Thank you.
With love always,
Kaitlin
June 15, 2020

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 15, 2020

Money Is Only A Tool

MONEY IS ONLY A TOOL
Those who idolize money and/or people with money are buyable.
Those who do not idolize money and/or people with money are not buyable.
And the world needs more of the latter if we want a better world for all of us.

Once upon a time I naively used to be impressed with money and people with money until I experienced what many money idolizers are like and how they treat other people, especially those without money. Don’t get me wrong, I know money is a needed tool in our time. I also know money is not evil. On the contrary, I know money is also supposed to be used to share in order to help others. The choice to be the former or the latter reflects what people really value … respect … the most. A cool side effect of being one of the latter means I am no longer intimated by people with money or in positions of power and instead admire and trust those in the latter group.

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 6, 2020

 

 

Evaluate Like A Scientist And Act With The Heart To Be Wise

Anybody can say or write anything they want, but that does not make it true.

Research, study, and evaluation can distinguish truths from lies … over time.

There has, and likely will always be people and forces who, for a number of reasons, want to stir up discord, create chaos, and overall use fear as their primary tool to influence, control, and even terrorize people.

Different people call such forces different things. In Christianity, the one who constantly seeks to destroy is called Satan or the Devil. His primary tools are lying, deceit, and deception … all of which are employed directly by him or by people he has gained control over to make people live in fear and hate rather than trust and love. He works constantly to stir up trouble, divide people, and even cause death and destruction.

Before recently embracing God and Christianity, as a social scientist and philosopher, I sought answers to the hypocrisy I observed in the Catholicism I grew up with and in general, Christianity, as well as in different religions and philosophies throughout history and in the present I have studied.

Long before I returned to Christianity, I researched, studied, and evaluated Christianity in depth before choosing to believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit because I went to the source, The Bible, to discover the whole truth from the source, versus what was extracted by religious sects, such as Catholicism.

Applying the same principle of study and evaluation to the Coronavirus pandemic, plus my new understanding of the negative force in this world that seeks to destroy using any means possible, including conspiracy theories designed to boost fear, manifest panic, and generate inappropriate, even deadly consequences, I am sharing the scientific, the spiritual, and the philosophical processes.

1. Scientifically, check your sources

2. Spiritually, question your heart

3. Philosophically, act according to the scientific evaluation and to your spiritual beliefs of heart heart

Inside us all, when we dig deep inside, we inherently know what is right and what is wrong. And though the digging is not always the easiest thing to do, we know it is the wisest and most beneficial to us … and to everyone else we share the world with.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 3, 2020

 

 

Linked article by Timothy Caulfield for CBC Edmonton, Alberta Canada

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/timothy-caulfield-university-of-alberta-conspiracy-theories-covid-19-1.5590649

 

Freedom and Wisdom Go Hand In Hand

As the United States of America honours those who gave their lives for freedom with Memorial Day, I hope, pray, and will continue to work to change the mindset that values … respects some people more than other people and results in everything born of that mindset that prevents freedom, harms,  and even kills.
When the dominant belief in the world impairs someone’s healthy development of self, that person will naturally seek to develop a coping mechanism, often a larger ego to compensate for the feelings of not being enough … not feeling valued … respected.
Depending on the person and the level of damage to a person, a person’s ego expands to serve as compensation, but ego will only take a person so far, though for some, it can take them too far, crossing over into the delusional realm where abuse, violence, and tyranny rules their own minds and attempts to coercively rule the lives of others.
Personally discovering how acquiring knowledge diminishes ego and can foster the wisdom that puts ego in its proper place … empowering a person to recognize both the value of one’s self, but also of everyone else, inspired me to find a way and develop tools to help people whose lives are derailed by people with biases, based on their own impairment or lack of knowledge. I spent over twenty years observing, researching, and studying life, the sciences, and philosophy that resulted in the development of the “Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle” thesis, global initiative, and the social business venture.
However, with a personality type naturally compelled to research and study and a personal need to keep growing and healing, I did not even stop there. I also sought to understand the impact of my religious upbringing and dove into reading The Bible to get the whole truth rather than the excerpts often used for other people’s gains and for justification of prejudices. And, of course, in time I also ending up smiling when I discovered my logical, practical, and compassionate thesis not only made sense scientifically and philosophically … it also made sense spiritually and was indeed in The Bible. Here’s one example,
“Let each of you esteem (value/respect) and look upon and be concerned for not (merely) his (her) own interests, but also each for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4
Regardless of our unique beliefs, the net result is the same thesis … freedom means the right to believe as you choose … with the one caveat … if one’s beliefs infringes on another person’s beliefs and life, we, as a global community are compelled by our respect for every human’s right to be free from tyranny in any form and to act accordingly … because it is the humane thing to do.
People with inflated egos need to put down or hurt others (people or animals) in order to feel good about themselves because they have been damaged, often during their early years, but acquiring knowledge can repair the damage and even result in the wisdom that recognizes no person is more important than another person. Wisdom also recognizes that we are a global community.
Now and then a piece of news strikes a chord and reminds me of the story of the frog and the scorpion. Standing at the edge of a body of water, the scorpion asks the frog for a ride to the other side. “No, you will sting me and we will both drown,” the frog replies. However the scorpion pleads persistently and the frog agrees. Barely away from the shore the scorpion stings the frog and the frog cries out in dismay, but the scorpion’s response was “What did you expect? It’s my nature.”
The thing is we are not limited to our nature. We are human beings with the potential to rewire our thinking and change our actions. It is in our own best interests to learn how to get along, how to work together, and how to thrive together. History, as well as, knowledge and wisdom tell us this is so. Now it is up to us individually and collectively to make it so.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 25, 2020

How Long Would It Take You … ?

With no interest in naming names or laying blame, but in changing the culture that permits disrespecting … devaluing … exploiting people for their own gain, with the intent to harm, or just through carelessness, and as part of the final stage of my healing, here is my question for you …
How long would it take you to get over the following experiences?
Smacks on head, yardstick broken over your head by a teacher, a teacher kicking your desk and your sliding to the floor, bullying, sexual abuse, sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, and resulting fugue states (loss of memory to block out traumas).
Plus, other head injuries also due to accidents caused by other people including being popped of the back of a motorcycle, t-boned in a car and on a bicycle, and the list goes on.
Also complicating matters is being an unusual personality type (within only 6-8% of the American population) and therefore considered wrong for being different from the majority, making me an easy target, made even worse because of my impaired social skills and emotional intelligence due to the harmful experiences from childhood through adulthood..
Often told I have so much potential, which revealed itself at times, including being an A student, I could not realize that potential until my emotional intelligence equalled my intellectual intelligence, which it finally has by my not giving up, by my connecting the dots to clearly see what was in my way and by the grace of God that empowered me to live through what I have, to heal completely, and to help other people do the same … and to change the culture allowing and even fostering heinous acts by breaking the cycles of victimization.
And finally, I can acknowledge, as hard as my life has been because of what I endured, I am one of the lucky ones … driven to understand and capable of doing so … but what about the many who are not and instead stay on the dark path that ultimately takes their life?
Which is why I do what I do … because everyone matters.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 15, 2020