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Do you know someone or are you one of those people labelled negatively by family or peers or community? Or have you lost someone due to depression or addictions? Or are you a person struggling to pull yourself out of a state of mind threatening your actual existence? After years of searching for answers and for healing in order to move forward with the life right for her, Kaitlin shares her story.


Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Human Rights Activist, Author, Poet, Playwright, and Speaker. Available books, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle and Broken Compass How To Save A Life

All rights reserved.

“Nobody can be as good helping someone as someone who’s been through it.” Joyce Meyer

As part of an “Invisible Minority” … people whose personality types and other differences are very uncommon to the rest of people, I know what it is like to be misunderstood, misjudged, abandoned, bullied, ignored, maltreated, exploited, abused, and harmed almost to the point of not wanting to live, so I KNOW what many people do not and can help bridge the gap dividing us.

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Human Rights Activist, Author, Poet, Playwright, and Speaker. Available books, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle and Broken Compass How To Save A Life

Why I Abandoned Christianity and Why I Returned


Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, January 20, 2022

Even through the eyes of a child Catholicism and Catholics did not make sense to me. I did not understand that for all the talk of love, the kind of love I experienced hurt. A lot. And my highly curious, investigative, and logical mind could not make sense of the contradictions between words and actions.

Early grade school reports revealed I thrived on learning, demonstrated by my excelling in all areas, but the black and white clothed grade three teacher curbed my learning drive. Her constant frustration with my becoming restless and inattentive with her constant chatter compelled her to ship me off to the corner of the classroom, cloaked in embarrassment and shame. Regular rapping of my knuckles with a ruler fuelled more defiance, but the day she stormed towards me with her brandished yardstick and smashed the wood across my head, she surprised and riotously angered me.

Grade four memories evade me still because by this time I was slipping away from school and home to find peace and quiet in the outdoors, encountering strangers and often not remembering still how I got where I was and whom I had been with.

By grade five in Catholic school, hurt and pain had been transformed to constant defiance lashed out on others in outraged anger, well beyond the scope of the hurt he or she may have inflicted on me. My horror to this day is still wondering if I played a part in upending a female student’s desk with her in it as part of a pact the class bullies decided to inflict upon the one person teased and ostracized more than me. As I stood in the lineup of students to be strapped for their involvement, all boys but me, I recall my wonder when my favourite teacher sent me packing to the office instead. Teasing and taunting grew as my height spiked and towered over most of the males in grades six, seven, and eight in Catholic junior high school and family life still pushed me out of doors, but no longer for peace, but the search for love and acceptance … somewhere.

The idea of being loved by God faded with every passing year and by sixteen was non-existent, pushed to the extreme after a violent marriage that made previous physical disciplines look and feel like taps.

Berated by a priest for my audacity to ask to be married for the second time in my life in his Catholic church sealed God out of my life well into my forties, with the exception of yearly attending Christmas Eve midnight mass with my sister.

Philosophy and new age studies took over my mind for awhile, but no matter what, peace evaded my tortured spirit and soul, so I gave up on believing there was any more to life other than life and doing one’s best with whatever presented itself. Even the second marriage of almost twenty years could not survive because of long-buried hurts, trauma, unforgiveness, deep-seated rage, and never ever truly feeling loved and accepted.

Eventually the deep craving for peace and love would not leave me alone and I found myself entering churches of many different denominations, but old wounds and careful scrutiny kept me at arm’s distance from settling in somewhere. And then there were the constant contradictions red flagging all my and other people’s attempts. The only time I felt comfortable thinking about God was singing in a community choir and eventually a church choir.

What pushed me out of a church faster than anything else were the people who pushed their way into my personal space with invasive questions and uninvited touch.

Finally I gave up walking into churches and turned to the Bible to try and understand unfettered by people, but after the violence I experienced in my lifetime, the Bible’s violence, righteous or not, turned my stomach and my eyes from the words.

Partial to studying, books beckoned as did movies and television shows, such as Touched By An Angel, which took the sting out while teaching softly and gently, until I could finally listen to televangelists whose style and words did not smack of the familiar condemnations, but instead fostered hope while teaching actual Bible truths rather than some people’s adaptations of Bible truths.

The long, winding sojourn back to God has been fraught with the consequences of unbelief and the unrighteous acts of defiance and revenge forged by a lifetime of immense pain, trauma, and loneliness.

My later in life journey also angered many people as they wrote me off as lazy or worse, not able to comprehend as people could not when I was younger because of their lack of knowledge too about different personality types, love languages, learning, and communication styles, plus the wounds the different experience born of ignorance and intolerance. Even now,  their frustration with my choices when I say I asked God and He directed me, startle me as many are Christian believers too, though I now understand their level of belief has not grown as much as mine, in part because of my intense study and relationship development with God, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit in order to actually save my life from the heavy burdens of guilt, judgment, condemnation, and resulting depression.

And just last week, the day following my sixty seventh birthday, God directed me to give up on the project I worked on for seven years to transform respect from a discretionary value to a global principle, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle, to turn instead to helping people with writing what I have learned and starting divinity studies to eventually serve also as a minister.

I share this for anyone who walked away from God or was never even introduced because learning He is for you, especially when no one else is, provides comfort and peace not easily found or experienced in this world.

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Human Rights/Peace Advocate, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle social business Founder/President and Blog Writer, plus Author of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle and Broken Compass How To Save A Life. NEW FOR 2022! Freelance Writing and Divinity College/University. All rights reserved.

Understanding the Big Picture of “Sowing and Reaping”

Limited minds and experiences often don’t understand the full scope of sowing and reaping.

I certainly did not. In my youth, when my lack of truthful knowledge about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, plus very harmful experiences turned me away from God, I had no idea of the real consequences. Then, and for years later, as I worked my way back to Him, I sought to understand why He did not prevent what happened to me, starting in childhood. I could not fathom why He allowed me to become so devastated and depressed most of my life. And even when I cried out to Him 25 years ago and said, “Take me home or give me a purpose,” I had no idea of the work I would have to do and He would have to do in and through me as He brought me back to my true self.

Because I had grown so weary, for some time, I have asked Him to take me home (suicide never an option … the only good thing that came out of my Catholic upbringing because with my experiences I thought earth was hell and I wanted to be freed from it, not live in it for eternity). Last night was no different as I cried a little more, but stopped because I know He wants me to stop crying and just keep doing as He has asked. I think of all that has to be done, the money, the people, and I stumble in faith … but this morning He answered my prayer by using the words from a pastor I don’t usually watch.

As I was flipping through the channels I paused on Triumph Church as the pastor said, “This message is for someone who needs to hear this right now. You need to stay and pass on, anoint your successor as Elija did Elisha.” The message uplifted my spirit and soul, knowing deep down it was the answer to my prayer … that all my hardships and efforts were not, are not, in vain, that they will serve as the foundation for others to build upon. And as for me, I will be able to pass the lead role on so I can enjoy the life He promised as a creative writer, artist, and much more, including being a loving wife for the rest of my days. Now that’s some sowing and reaping! Amen!


Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

May 16, 2021

To Whom It May Concern

I hope you and your loved ones are safe and well during this very challenging time.

I think of you often, miss you a lot, and am sorry for any and all ways I hurt you and continuously widened the distance between us. I don’t know how things got so bad between us, but I do know regardless of everything, I still love you very much.

As for me, I am okay. My pensions have stabilized me financially and I am working to monetize my writing in different ways to ramp up my income to move, buy some motorized wheels again, and grow my company so I can hire my team to share the load and diversity of work.

Much of my time here these past several years has been focused on unravelling why my life derailed to the point that it did. A lot of time and effort was required to investigate, discover, analyze, and to connect the dots, which I am sharing in my new book, Broken Compass. The other challenge has been how to tell my story without telling other people’s stories in order to respect their privacy. If you read Broken Compass when it is released for publication, you will be assured of that fact. Being able to share what I have learned through my study, research, and healing will help many people and families understand and deal with “invisible minorities” better in order to foster new ways for us all to be inclusive of all types of personality types, love languages, plus learning, communication, and socializing aptitudes in order to foster more respect and love for everyone.

The other important thing that has stabilized my life significantly has been studying Christianity in order to discover the inconsistencies and misinformation that turned me away from God in my youth and has now returned me, not to a religion, but to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life.

The scope of my vision, driven by the depth of my respect, compassion, and love, no longer scares or intimidates me, but soothes, calms, and excites me as I keep moving forward with what is in my heart and soul to do, for me, my loved ones, and for everyone … because I know its source.



Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

May 5, 2021

BROKEN COMPASS … A Story About the Invisible Minority

A surprising insightful journey into the mind of the invisible minority that lives among us. Often without awareness, other than there is just something very different about them that we cannot pinpoint or do no not understand, we often reject, shun, abandon, or even harm them to their and our own detriment.

Currently a work-in-process with publication details pending.


Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

May 1, 2021

My Covid-19 Vaccine Excitement!

My personal preference is to do what I can to stay … to be healthy without medication.

Aging though, presents new challenges. What our bodies could once tolerate, no longer does the body give us a pass on. We have to make changes to our lifestyle, diet, managing stress, and managing aging.

After experiencing some scary health challenges in my thirties, I made some radical changes. I quit smoking, drinking coffee and most alcohol, plus left both a working and home environment that was adding to the problems versus helping.

A delayed child and teen hood fostered what seemed like a midlife crisis, but in reality was a period of deep discovery and healing. And since there was much to heal from, the journey was long, though it became longer as a result of putting my life and dreams on hold in 2011 when I moved back to be there for our dad until his passing in 2015. My health took another severe hit then that is only now finally being resolved as I get back on track with a healthy diet, a return to my yoga/pilates practice, and a new psychological/spiritual way to manage the stress of current financial challenges due to the debt I incurred to be with my dad, living accommodations, and lack of a vehicle in a community without public transportation.

Maybe it is because I have previously volunteered for clinical Phase II trials in Toronto that tested medications either on products already on the market or a competitive new product that getting the vaccine does not bother me. What bothers me more is having to take medication on a regular basis because after reading about all the potential side effects from available products already on the market, I prefer to keep changing my choices as my body changes with the aging process.

So, after booking my COVID-19 vaccine for the first week of May and late August I am excited to be doing my part to help solve the pandemic problem, to not infect anyone, and to free me from having to endure a lot of other medication and procedures were I to be become ill with the virus and its complications.

I also feel freed from having to stay in my kitchenless, bathtubless studio living space once the means arrives for me to move on … hopefully much sooner than later. May would be awesome, but patience is a new friend of mine.

And since I now have faith in God to take care of me, as I realize He always has, fear of science and a vaccine, is nonexistent … because all good things come from God and anything not from Him, He protects me from, which is a very comforting, uplifting way to live no matter what comes … because I know where I am going when all is said and done. I love and am greatly relieved to be living this way than the fearful life I have lived most of my life.

So, here’s hoping my experiences, knowledge, and words get you excited too! If yes, let’s get vaccinated together and then we will all be able to get back together and back to work much sooner than much later.

Take care. Be Safe. Protect yourself and others … because everyone matters.


Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

April 13, 2021

Two Kinds of Teachers Who Shaped Me

Excerpt from the first print edition, June 2015, of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle “Acknowledgements” by Kaitlin A. (Ann) Trepanier,

“In my life, two kinds of teachers shaped me. The first are the many who rejected me because I did not reflect them, so their fears created the prejudices that caused the rejection. The second are the stories of distant people, from the past or present, I discovered through reading, listening, or watching on my quest to understand our world differently. Stories of people whose lives were shaped by small, limiting, and harmful personal and worldly beliefs, yet who found ways to move past their history to share their experience .. to heal .. to raise hope … offer understanding … inspire change … then serve as catalysts for the much needed changes.”

“Here is the list of people who greatly influenced this work by their own work and lives, though of course there are the many not-famous faces and stories who too shaped this work and me into who I am … and who I am becoming …”

“Jesus, Albert Einstein, Alfred Nobel, Alice Miller, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Joan of Arc, The Dalai Lama, Abraham Lincoln, William Wilberforce, Martin Luther King Jr., John F. Kennedy, Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, Alan Cohen, Robert Schuller, Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, and Richard Branson.”

As my understanding grew and my own “Respect Level” rose, my list of people, like me, has changed, but what has not changed is the measurement of people’s subsequent “Respect Level” increase or decrease based on their subsequent actions that added or deleted their name from this list … which will be revealed with the revised second edition. New release date still to be determined.

Thank you for stopping by and for your efforts to become the best version of yourself too.


Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of/for Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2021

February, 9, 2021

Why Making Mistakes Fosters Growth

Not making mistakes translates into not taking any risks, not growing, and not becoming wiser … and unfortunately, a lot less compassionate, unable to walk, even mentally, in someone else’s shoes. Some of my mistakes were the result of conscious choice, but many were the result of a low “Respect Level” for myself and as a result, for others, especially those who exploited, bullied, or abused me or other vulnerable souls.

The good news is that my failures put me in the position many times of the oppressed, the rejected, and those in need so when I write what I write, I may use statistics and even other people’s stories, but most importantly I write from actual, personal, heart and spirit-breaking experience. … in order to help both the heart and spirit broken and those who, consciously or not, contribute to the breaking.

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President
© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020
November 17, 2020

“The Dangerous Downside of Perfection”

The linked article is filled with all the data you need to reconsider how you live or are influencing others to live. There are personal stories too, including mine shared below the link. Happy reading!

Linked article by Amanda Ruggeri for BBC Future on PocketWorthy


My Personal Experience with Perfectionism

Because of my unusual personality type, I did not “fit in” unless I was doing everything “perfect” or above average, but the cost was high, especially in the long run. When I finally raised my “Respect Level” high enough, valuing myself equally to others, I quit obsessing with perfect and started focusing on discovering who I was under the perfect image that was killing me with its unreasonable, unrealistic, and painful consequences.

Though my physical and mental health has since improved, a cost was also paid for with the loss of many relationships, but then again, the relationships I had were more based on my meeting other people’s needs and wants, so it really is no surprise that many relationships ended. Now, starting over at the bottom of the life and success scale, with hardly any material possessions or worldly success, the relationships I now develop are based on who I am as a person, rather than what I have accomplished or how perfectly I perform or meet someone’s wants and needs, because I have witnessed first hand what relationships based on performance result in … emptiness, sadness, and an unhealthy striving to be something that I am not … perfect.

Freed from the need to be perfect, I can now just be a unique human … me … exploring my and our world, changing my mind, trying new things, and encouraging myself when I make a mistake or fail ,so I don’t give up on what’s important to me because I don’t get it right the first, second, or twentieth time. It’s a welcome, long-awaited state of being I highly recommend for the bliss imperfection provides.

Written and shared by


Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

July 20, 2020