Freedom and Wisdom Go Hand In Hand

As the United States of America honours those who gave their lives for freedom with Memorial Day, I hope, pray, and will continue to work to change the mindset that values … respects some people more than other people and results in everything born of that mindset that prevents freedom, harms,  and even kills.
When the dominant belief in the world impairs someone’s healthy development of self, that person will naturally seek to develop a coping mechanism, often a larger ego to compensate for the feelings of not being enough … not feeling valued … respected.
Depending on the person and the level of damage to a person, a person’s ego expands to serve as compensation, but ego will only take a person so far, though for some, it can take them too far, crossing over into the delusional realm where abuse, violence, and tyranny rules their own minds and attempts to coercively rule the lives of others.
Personally discovering how acquiring knowledge diminishes ego and can foster the wisdom that puts ego in its proper place … empowering a person to recognize both the value of one’s self, but also of everyone else, inspired me to find a way and develop tools to help people whose lives are derailed by people with biases, based on their own impairment or lack of knowledge. I spent over twenty years observing, researching, and studying life, the sciences, and philosophy that resulted in the development of the “Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle” thesis, global initiative, and the social business venture.
However, with a personality type naturally compelled to research and study and a personal need to keep growing and healing, I did not even stop there. I also sought to understand the impact of my religious upbringing and dove into reading The Bible to get the whole truth rather than the excerpts often used for other people’s gains and for justification of prejudices. And, of course, in time I also ending up smiling when I discovered my logical, practical, and compassionate thesis not only made sense scientifically and philosophically … it also made sense spiritually and was indeed in The Bible. Here’s one example,
“Let each of you esteem (value/respect) and look upon and be concerned for not (merely) his (her) own interests, but also each for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4
Regardless of our unique beliefs, the net result is the same thesis … freedom means the right to believe as you choose … with the one caveat … if one’s beliefs infringes on another person’s beliefs and life, we, as a global community are compelled by our respect for every human’s right to be free from tyranny in any form and to act accordingly … because it is the humane thing to do.
People with inflated egos need to put down or hurt others (people or animals) in order to feel good about themselves because they have been damaged, often during their early years, but acquiring knowledge can repair the damage and even result in the wisdom that recognizes no person is more important than another person. Wisdom also recognizes that we are a global community.
Now and then a piece of news strikes a chord and reminds me of the story of the frog and the scorpion. Standing at the edge of a body of water, the scorpion asks the frog for a ride to the other side. “No, you will sting me and we will both drown,” the frog replies. However the scorpion pleads persistently and the frog agrees. Barely away from the shore the scorpion stings the frog and the frog cries out in dismay, but the scorpion’s response was “What did you expect? It’s my nature.”
The thing is we are not limited to our nature. We are human beings with the potential to rewire our thinking and change our actions. It is in our own best interests to learn how to get along, how to work together, and how to thrive together. History, as well as, knowledge and wisdom tell us this is so. Now it is up to us individually and collectively to make it so.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 25, 2020

How Long Would It Take You … ?

With no interest in naming names or laying blame, but in changing the culture that permits disrespecting … devaluing … exploiting people for their own gain, with the intent to harm, or just through carelessness, and as part of the final stage of my healing, here is my question for you …
How long would it take you to get over the following experiences?
Smacks on head, yardstick broken over your head by a teacher, a teacher kicking your desk and your sliding to the floor, bullying, sexual abuse, sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, and resulting fugue states (loss of memory to block out traumas).
Plus, other head injuries also due to accidents caused by other people including being popped of the back of a motorcycle, t-boned in a car and on a bicycle, and the list goes on.
Also complicating matters is being an unusual personality type (within only 6-8% of the American population) and therefore considered wrong for being different from the majority, making me an easy target, made even worse because of my impaired social skills and emotional intelligence due to the harmful experiences from childhood through adulthood..
Often told I have so much potential, which revealed itself at times, including being an A student, I could not realize that potential until my emotional intelligence equalled my intellectual intelligence, which it finally has by my not giving up, by my connecting the dots to clearly see what was in my way and by the grace of God that empowered me to live through what I have, to heal completely, and to help other people do the same … and to change the culture allowing and even fostering heinous acts by breaking the cycles of victimization.
And finally, I can acknowledge, as hard as my life has been because of what I endured, I am one of the lucky ones … driven to understand and capable of doing so … but what about the many who are not and instead stay on the dark path that ultimately takes their life?
Which is why I do what I do … because everyone matters.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 15, 2020

Healthy Boundaries Needed … Though Not Just Because of a Pandemic

Beyond social distancing, people of all ages … starting at a young age, every person needs to learn what healthy boundaries feel and look like in order to have safe, healthy personal and professional relationships.
For those of us whose boundaries were invaded at a young age, as teens and adults it becomes crucial for us to understand the value of boundaries and to develop healthy ones at any age.
Personally, I had poor boundaries most of my life, which caused grief for others and myself, but as my “Respect Level” has risen, so has my ability to respect everyone’s right to a circle of privacy and protection that cannot be entered without invitation … because otherwise it is a violation that can easily become threatening, abusive, harmful, and even deadly … pandemic or no pandemic.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 19, 2020

“A Confident Woman”

“7 SECRETS of a CONFIDENT WOMEN” excerpt from Joyce Meyer’s book, “A Confident Woman”
A confident woman …
… knows that she is loved
… refuses to live in fear
… is positive
… recovers from setbacks
… avoids comparisons
… takes action
… does not live in “If only” and “What if”

Regaining my confidence after all I have been through (stay tuned for the upcoming article and eventually the book) has taken quite some time, a lot of effort to heal, and for me turning to someone, God, who loves unconditionally. My restored confidence is just what I need to move boldly forward to change the culture that makes people lose their confidence and even breaks their spirit.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 15, 2020

The COVID-19 Pandemic Reveals What We Value Most … and Least

The pandemic is raising so many questions that our words and actions are revealing … what we value/respect … the most … and the least.

For example …

https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/497617-viral-photo-shows-preschoolers-confined-to-chalk-squares-for?fbclid=IwAR1QR8DtvV7DtPxfW0nRIXvGiwzzRSUUKOTMHgGNqfYOwMYcXpypH-b8kiU

While there are many health, social, and economic challenges pressing in on leaders from all sectors, parents, and all of us, the best solutions will arise from higher “Respect Levels” for all of us. And anything decision based solely on the financial impact reveals what we value … idolize more than life itself.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 14, 2020

 

 

 

Is Freedom and Civil Disobedience, For Any Reason, Justifiable?

If every human was conscientious and never acted disrespectfully towards another human, freedom would be very different in our world. We would be able to trust that no person or organization would, consciously or not, seek to take advantage of or harm another person or group of people.

But, since that freedom definition is the ideal versus the reality, laws, courts, and prisons were created to help prevent, but also deal with those who harmed others, intentionally or not.

As someone who desperately sought the freedom to live the life right for me, not defined by other people’s expectations and wants, I felt caged by invisible bars. As a result, for years the desire to be accepted for my differences caused me to do the crazy dance of acing like most people I knew and then in defiance, when the restraint became overwhelming, I acted out, hurting both other people and myself.

Freedom finally came to me along with the wisdom no one gets to define my life, my beliefs, and my actions, so now  I live my life as I need to do for my own well-being. People like Nelson Mandela also helped me to understand what real freedom feels and looks like. Fortunately also, wisdom provided the respect and compassion to not force my beliefs and actions on another person or group, but also to be aware of how my beliefs and actions affect others.

Right now, after many weeks of lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic, people are crying “Freedom” and this morning I even heard an American restaurant owner, who had opened his restaurant and served a large number of people not practising social distancing, also cry out his and their civil liberties are being violated, so his civil disobedience is his and his customers’ right.

But civil disobedience, exemplified in Henry David Thoreau’s essay, “Civil Disobedience” that is part of many high school curriculum, is not about doing what one wants for any reason … it is about doing what one can to object to political leadership … that is harmful.

Sadly, though, many people who are citing freedom and resorting to civil disobedience are not acting to protect others as is its intention, in this case other people’s health, but to satisfy their personal wants, risking the lives of others for their own satisfaction and gain, for which there are many words, which I will leave to your imagination.

Yes, most of us are being hit economically for many reasons. Food prices keep climbing, but that does not mean we have the freedom to steal. People who sell us food often work for low wages and need their jobs, so they are forced to work. What about their freedom? Are medical staff free to choose who they help? What about their freedom?  What about other essential workers and their freedom? And all the people being forced back to work by employers to meet company income needs, personal income needs, and citizens needs, what about their freedom?

People are dying. Health care costs are skyrocketing. Life as we have known has been shutdown. This pandemic is not just about one person wants. It is about all of us … men, women, teens, and children around the world. Leaders are struggling, trying to do their best to help the people they govern. In-fighting is happening in governments. Protesting is an option … but putting the lives of others at risk to do so … the innocent … is not. Right now it may be not be a criminal law, however, it is a crime against humanity to act with such disregard for other life because someone thinks he or she is more important …  more valuable than anyone else.

It is time to get a grip on ourselves. It is time to support our nations and fellow citizens. It is time to step up and recognize our global citizenship. We may not like it, but let’s put the present scenario in perspective. We are at war. You have been called to be a soldier and do your part for the greater good of your nation and our global nation.

When enough of us finally grasp this reality, we will all win because we will not have so many people needing to feel more special that they seek to put themselves above all others and in the end, hurt not only themselves, but the people they impact. We will see ourselves truly equally, not slaves to ego and pride, but servants for the greater good, which also enriches our individual worlds too, empowering us with the freedom to be our unique selves that contributes in our unique way … adding versus subtracting to the quality of life of humanity … one person at a time.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 12, 2020

 

 

 

 

 

A Powerful Viable Philosophy

Respect (value) everyone is not just logical, practical, and compassionate … a powerful, viable philosophy to cross all barriers, including religious … it is as I later discovered after my scientific research and thesis development, a Biblical directive: “Respect everyone.” 1 Peter 2:15

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

May 9, 2020