Respect Life … Yours and Others … by doing what You Can and are Supposed to do to be part of the COVID-19 pandemic solution

Respect Life … Yours and Others … by doing what You Can and are Supposed to do to be part of the COVID-19 pandemic solution.

Shared by

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

March 23, 2020

 

 

Covenant House

“Covenant House is the largest privately funded agency in the Americas providing shelter, food, immediate crisis care, and an array of other services to homeless and runaway youth. Wikipedia

https://g.co/kgs/4MxXsp

Link shared by

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

February 29, 2020

 

Surrendering

Once upon a time, a very kind man went out of his way to help me.

He later asked why a woman would refuse his help and my flip response was that she probably needed to learn how to do things for herself. Of course, I was probably talking about myself because by the time we met when I was in my early forties, I had never really lived on my own.

However, my heart was conflicted..

I loved him as I had never loved another, but I was afraid: afraid he would be like others who wanted me to be who and what they wanted me to be rather than who I was just beginning to discover I was, and perhaps could be.

Devastated, but determined, I walked, well, I ran away as I learned to do at an early age.

Living far away from family and friends, I was solely on my own for the first time. Over the next years, I secured a number of different jobs and returned to school several times, plus discovered I had a variety of previously unrecognized natural talents.

What I lacked for years though was the healing I needed to make the much-needed changes in my life, including better money-management skills. For the longest time I did not connect the dots that my low “Respect Level” was supported by a debilitating pride. On a very deep level, I rationalized I had managed other people’s money successfully for years, so I should be able to manage my own, but for the longest time I could not see how I was hurting myself with my limiting, false beliefs.

Not until I recognized my role in the unhealthy relationships I kept developing, including with money, did things finally change, though not overnight.

My dark night of the soul had happened years ago. My pain was so overwhelming I cried out to God, whom I had rejected years ago because I thought he had abandoned me based on what I had gone through and how he had let bad things happen to me. No big change happened. In fact, I went through many periods of mild success and calm times, before another challenge thrust me out into the world searching for a new job and a new home. I finally settled on sharing a city apartment with a very psychologically-broken man because I was weary of the places I had had to live because my income did not provide enough to have my own apartment.

The cost was higher than I expected as I continue to explore the world and different ways people lived and worked. Sharing a living space with someone just as, or even more broken than I was emotionally, meant I took the brunt of his pain in his outbursts. And even as new girlfriends and left, I was relieved when one showed up and started moving her things into our small apartment. My decision to move out was made simple when in one of his rages he threw something and almost hit my little cat Missy. Living out the last two months in the apartment was to say the least, tense.

What little self worth was all but shattered, yet the move back to Kincardine to be there for my dad kept me busy and preoccupied. However, after his death, I took many more emotional and psychological hits and some days it took all I had to get up.

Once I had been excited about the work I knew I was to do. I registered the company, wrote books, and attracted people who wanted to be a part, well, actually wanted to exploit what I had created. Forced by circumstances to live in other people’s homes, I was learning not to lean on people, but on God to keep my cats and I provided for and safe.

But when the day came that I had to leave the last person’s home, plus did not have the means to go somewhere or a somewhere I could pay for, you could say my prayers were a little more urgent. And what happened next finally made me realize and accept that God had me covered.

Not that I could acknowledge the idea totally right away after having to move into a women’s shelter that  just happened to have a pilot project allowing woman in need to bring their animals with them and just happened to have an available room, which I soon discovered is not common either.

Still not having the means to rent a market value apartment, even a studio one, I posted my need on Facebook and weeks later found myself living in a room above a relative’s garage. Still not having the means to pay the agreed upon rent, I was provided the opportunity to cook for the relative’s family until I could pay the little rent they decided to charge me, which thankfully has arrived.

None of this has been easy, but it has been life-changing. I am no longer the stressed-out, non-confident, fearful woman I had become. Neither too, am I a woman defined by other people, but finally by myself … and God.

Surrendering to God has not been easy, mostly because I did not know enough about Him or trust Him, though I do know a lot more about Him and do trust Him now. So much so, that I am no longer even fearful of people, even of the one I love like I have not loved another.

In fact, surrendering to God is the best thing I have done because I know the purpose I am to fulfill comes from Him and that purpose is deeply rooted in my whole being and all that I do.

Surrendering to a man, allowing him to lead our marriage and home life is no longer terrifying either because first and foremost I trust God with my life and the life, and husband, He has chosen for me.

What a difference surrendering means when you discover that surrendering to the most powerful, loving being means placing your life, your trust, in someone who loves you unconditionally and only has your best interests at heart.

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

February 12, 2020

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reclaiming Confidence

All I have been through shattered the confidence I had built up, but thankfully my confidence, as with many aspects of myself that were badly broken, is being restored, even beyond what I knew before, empowering me to move forward with my purpose, including living the life I have known in my heart was mine to live.

Particularly helpful now is Joyce Meyer’s book, The Confident Woman, with the reminder that a “A person without confidence is like an airplane sitting on a runway with empty fuel tanks,” and I know that feeling all too well, especially this past year.

Thankfully, Joyce fills up our tanks with the wisdom gained from her own experience, “Confidence allows us to face life with boldness, openness, and honesty. It enables us to live without worry and to feel safe. It enables us to live authentically … we are secure in who we are … even if we are different from those around us.”

Yet she also reminds us, “So, if I say I am confident, which I frequently do, I don’t mean that I am confident in myself or my abilities, I mean that I am confident in my leader, God, and the gifts talents, and knowledge He has placed in me. (Check out John 15.5)

So personally I tell myself now that regardless of what I have gone through as a result of other people’s and my choices, I am not the result. I am malleable; an ongoing work-in-process with a passion for helping others, a deep-seated curiosity compelling me to learn continuously, and a highly intelligent, innovative, and creative mind that served organizations well before and can now serve my life’s purpose of helping other people to feel valued and realize more of their unique potential too.

And, of course, as wonderful it is to have relationships with people, what has been the best thing to learn is how to establish a personal relationship with God, who is now my first goto and always my last too as I step back into the world reclaiming what is mine … boldly confident, open, and honest, knowing that whatever comes I am ready and have the best backup available to everyone.

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

February 10, 2020

 

 

 

 

 

How Do We Know When We Need Healing?

When respect and love for ourselves and others is conditional instead of unconditional.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

January 29, 2020

 

About Spirit Ranch

Once established, Spirit Ranch will complement Covenant House as a home base for youth who need a safe place to launch into adulthood. In contrast to Covenant House and other city-based centres though, Spirit Ranch, will specifically suit introverted youth who thrive better in quiet environments and/or those from rural areas that are not safely prepared for city living where they often become prey to people who target introverts who are often loners.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

January 18, 2020

 

2020 Marks 25th Anniversary

This April marks the most important anniversary of my life.

No, the anniversary is not a wedding anniversary, which for some people can sometimes just be a marker of time, rather than a celebration of love or a work anniversary.

Instead, for me, this 25th anniversary marks something more important than a passage of time to me–it marks the year when unconditional love cracked opened my hardened heart.

A multitude of reasons, since I was a child, shutdown my ability to love unconditionally, which you will be able to read about in my upcoming book, Carpenter’s Daughter, but that is not the point of today’s story.

Instead, the point of today’s story focuses on the time and place of meeting someone who served as the final catalyst that thrust me into the life I was destined to live, rather than the life I was living to get and keep people’s approval, plus to feel safe and protected.

The circumstances; the timing, the place, and the person all came together perfectly. A self-discovery journey had revealed my passion, writing, especially to help, inspire, and motivate people to discover and realize their unique potential, healing them through the process.

A husband and other people in my life who did not approve or like the changes I was making to our lives, revealed a hunger for approval and to be liked for who I really was and was working to reclaim.

Admittedly, I was prone to running away from problems because when I was younger I had not developed the relationship skills I needed for healthy relationships, but that was changing from the personal work I was doing, in part, catalyzed by a year and a half working with a psychologist to deal with trauma resulting from my formative years and my determination to become the best version of myself.

How much work I had yet to do revealed itself when I met him.

An Easter Monday in April was the mark of passage. My first day on a new job, a three-day-a-week  contract merchandising job for a souvenir company resulted in my standing in a line up of warehouse workers awaiting their direction from a small Asian man. Dismissed from the early morning meeting, we broke from our line, and that is when I saw him.

Well, it was not so much as seeing a tall, lean man walk in another direction from where I was stationed for my training, but a tingly sense in my gut, invoking the words in my head, “Oh no, I am in trouble.”

I had no idea what these words would really mean over time, how my life was going to be affected, and altered beyond expectations.

Of course, first came the final destruction of the life I had been living and knew in my heart I had to leave. And sadly the destruction of the good reputation I had established as a hard worker that previously exceeded expectations

In other words, I made an absolute fool of myself.

For a variety of reasons, healthy boundaries were not something I had learned or developed over the years. Plus, the traumas I had experienced made me very skittish, pushing me away from what I knew was an incredible thing because I was afraid I thought meeting might be my total undoing, while also compelling me to act compulsively, though not in good ways.

The net result was a lot of confusion and pain that clouded incredible clarity and joy. Suddenly, several years later, all the players in this drama were living their separate distant lives.

As time went by, the confusion and pain ebbed and faced, but not the clarity and joy. As if yesterday, I remembered, rediscovered and reclaimed the unconditional love I experienced during the times we spent together working or hanging out: the unconditional love I have finally learned to give myself and others, further made possible by the ever-present unconditional love I am experiencing these days as I study the Bible and accept God’s unconditional love.

No, the man, whose soul reached into mine and helped bring me back to life, is not with me physically, yet he always deep within me, which is why I am writing today to say “Thank you” for being the perfect person at the perfect time for my return to love.

So, Happy 25th Anniversary to me and to the man who was a crucial catalyst on my healing journey. I hope your life now is all your heart and soul needs it be for you to thrive too.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist Writer Speaker Social Entrepreneur Founder and President

of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

January 18, 2020