“The Emotional Intelligence Test Was So Accurate It Was Creepy”

Linked article by Rich Bellis for Fast Company on Pocket Worthy

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/this-emotional-intelligence-test-was-so-accurate-it-was-creepy?utm_source=pocket-newtab

In a world dominated by narcissism … in other words, the it’s-all-about-me mindset … and a sociopathic mindset … in other words, I-am-concerned-with-me-not-you-mindset … it is easy to understand why “Emotional Intelligence” is underdeveloped or impaired in many people in our world today.

I say many because if we look at the impact highlighted by the actual statistics based on crimes … child neglect, child sexual abuse, sexual assaults, domestic violence, human trafficking, racial, religion, and because-you-are-different attacks, plus blue and white collar crime (statistics revealing the ones that we know of, not the many we don’t), we find the proven evidence for low Emotional Intelligence that is an indicator of sociopathic narcissism and therefore of low “Respect Levels.”

As someone with an very unusual personality type who suffered greatly at the hands of people with low EI and in turn, sometimes gave back some of which I received, I personally know what having a low EI feels and looks like. Wanting to break negative patterns in me to generate different results, has meant, like it does with all change, looking at myself and then searching for the knowledge I needed to become aware of so I could see, not where I was bad or deficient, but where I was ignorant of what I needed to know to become, by my behaviour as well as my thoughts, the person I knew I initially was … very caring and concerned for others as well as for myself.

With a “Respect Level” finally above the 50% mark, I am grateful for the significant changes that has restored much of my true character before the world did a number on it. And I have to admit, I still have work to do to ramp up my EI to a level I will be satisfied with, which for me as an Intuitspecifically means reigning in my “Impulse Control.” So, the personal works goes on as does the professional work of helping others on their journeys by sharing what others and I have learned from our journeys.

Best wishes,

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER
Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President
http://www.connectingthedotswiththerespectprinciple.com
© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020
September 16, 2020

Authority Abusers

Just because someone has authority over someone or a group of people does not mean they have good character … what sometimes happens is people with a low “Respect Level” for his or her self needs to feel empowered by controlling and manipulating others with the, conscious or unconscious, intent to inflict pain that mirrors or is worse than their own. Such a person a group also seeks to elevate themselves above others … which is yet another way prejudice takes hold, grows, and manifests indifference, apathy, hatred, violence, and war.

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

July 22, 2020

 

 

“The Dangerous Downside of Perfection”

The linked article is filled with all the data you need to reconsider how you live or are influencing others to live. There are personal stories too, including mine shared below the link. Happy reading!

Linked article by Amanda Ruggeri for BBC Future on PocketWorthy

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-dangerous-downsides-of-perfectionism?utm_source=pocket-newtab

My Personal Experience with Perfectionism

Because of my unusual personality type, I did not “fit in” unless I was doing everything “perfect” or above average, but the cost was high, especially in the long run. When I finally raised my “Respect Level” high enough, valuing myself equally to others, I quit obsessing with perfect and started focusing on discovering who I was under the perfect image that was killing me with its unreasonable, unrealistic, and painful consequences.

Though my physical and mental health has since improved, a cost was also paid for with the loss of many relationships, but then again, the relationships I had were more based on my meeting other people’s needs and wants, so it really is no surprise that many relationships ended. Now, starting over at the bottom of the life and success scale, with hardly any material possessions or worldly success, the relationships I now develop are based on who I am as a person, rather than what I have accomplished or how perfectly I perform or meet someone’s wants and needs, because I have witnessed first hand what relationships based on performance result in … emptiness, sadness, and an unhealthy striving to be something that I am not … perfect.

Freed from the need to be perfect, I can now just be a unique human … me … exploring my and our world, changing my mind, trying new things, and encouraging myself when I make a mistake or fail ,so I don’t give up on what’s important to me because I don’t get it right the first, second, or twentieth time. It’s a welcome, long-awaited state of being I highly recommend for the bliss imperfection provides.

Written and shared by

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

July 20, 2020

 

“Love is Equality”

A simple truth from Taylor Swift during her live Paris concert, “Lover”

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

July 15, 2020

 

Worried About the Economic Impact of the Coronavirus Pandemic?

What every person chooses to do is, as has been said, “A part of the problem or the solution.”

Most of us will never know all the truth about the COVID-19 Pandemic.

Scientists are working to discover how to combat the virus, the spread of the virus, and ultimately the prevention of the virus, yet science takes time, takes trial and error, takes money, takes energy, and a whole lot of patience.

Most of us are not scientists, but patients waiting to be immunized, so our key role is not only being a patient, but a “patient” patient, following the guidance of the health professionals to protect not just ourselves, but also everyone else.

Will some people exploit the pandemic and us? No doubt. But that fact does not mean we should be concerned so much about being exploited as much as we should be concerned about our and everyone’s health … because if we get sick and or die, being exploited will be the least of our concerns … including the financial impact.

And if we want to minimize the pandemic’s financial impact on us, then it comes back to our doing our part to be a part of the solution rather than add to the problem.

It’s our choice. We can be selfish, thinking only of our wants, or we can be selfless, thinking not just of ourselves, but about everyone else … the world we share.

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2020

July 13, 2020

 

Break the Tradition … Not the Children

The fact people are still equally divided on whether a child is acceptable or note, plus the slow-shifting idea that maybe getting smacked was not a good experience is an opportunity to clarify the impact of physical punishment.

To strike means to give a blow to, to hit, to cause to come into forceful contact, to attack. To spank means to strike something with an open hand, especially on the buttocks, as punishment. Violence is physical force so as to injure or damage, is intense powerful force, unjust or callous use of force or power, a violent deed or act. Coles Concise English Dictionary, 1979)

Yes, many people have been spanked because it is a tradition, But also, many people have also received strikes that went well beyond spanking, including slaps across the face, smacks with belts, straps, rulers, yardsticks, whatever was handy for beatings that even resulted in death. Remember, people often take out their frustration and anger on those they “love.”

The problem is not the child or a child’s behaviour. The problem is with with parents, caregivers, and society to refuse to move past a tradition because it is a tradition.

On one hand, I do not understand why people, who take on the tremendous responsibility of raising a child and transforming them into an adult, would not want to take the time to learn from the present knowledge instead of repeating the past. If one was an employed caregiver, we certainly expect them to receive the same knowledge through training and to act accordingly.

On the other hand, my years of research, built on the research of other experts, including Alice Miller, the forerunner who studied how Hitler and others were shaped into the adults they became, revealed our dominant, often unconscious belief people have to earn respect to be considerable valuable.

When it comes to our stuff, if we value it, we treat it with care. How much depends on our own “Respect Level,” which was shaped by our own experiences. How we treat others and children reveals the same.

Even horse training advanced beyond tradition. “Breaking” horses is now considered cruel and unnecessary since “gentling” a horse results, not only in a quicker response, but in a response based on bonding fostering willingness versus fear fostering rebellion.

The final piece of the puzzle is recognizing our differences. One psychological tool, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), reveals there are sixteen personality types, yet we need to consider all the other influencing factors, such as, culture, religion, social status, etc. affecting a family. Considering these and many other factors, we really do not know how physical punishment is going to affect a child.

The truth is striking a child is no longer the smart, compassionate, or respectful thing to do … raising awareness and choosing alternatives is. Let’s break the tradition no longer serving us. Let’s not take the chance and break … then have to repair the children, teens, and adults … physical punishment creates.

Kaitlin A. Trepanier

By permission, this originally published “Letter to the Editor” in the South Bruce Weekender, January 21, 2016, is being published today by the original author to share the contents with a global versus small community audience.

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 30, 2020

 

 

 

 

From Gentle Souls to Monsters

History and science teach us that unacknowledged, unprocessed pain can transform even the gentlest of souls into monsters of all kinds, so we need a more enlightened and aware approach to how we treat each other … especially those closest to us … because love should not hurt, makes us feel bad about ourselves, etc. and if it does, it is likely not love we are acting on, but something else.

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 28, 2020

 

 

Though Forgiveness Can Be Quite Challenging …

Everyone makes mistakes.

Plus, sometimes we don’t understand someone else’s perspective,experiences, decisions,etc, and well, we are all just different humans trying to get along without having to give up our individuality so learning to forgive is a key component of loving.

And even though forgiveness can be quite challenging, the benefits are extremely rewarding, including freeing us from carrying the negative emotions colouring our relationship with ourselves and with others.

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 20, 2020

“An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator”

By Kendra Cherry for Very Well Mind

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-myers-briggs-type-indicator-2795583?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=shareurlbuttons&fbclid=IwAR1chNXdNLmwdSNN618-_oUccerNt42WHnYjpqnpAoi0teCXC8GhkJJTQSY

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 19, 2020

 

“Everyone Is Entitled …”

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.”

Daniel Patrick Moynihan, sociologist and diplomat

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Specialist, Writer, Speaker, Social Entrepreneur, Founder and President

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

June 19, 2020