Current Work/Book-In-Process, “Carpenter’s Daughter”

Carpenter's Daughter

Currently the book/work-in-process, the personal story that inspired the concept of transforming respect from a discretionary value to a global principle.

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Writer, Founder and President of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019 

November 19, 2019

 

 

 

THE DANCE (Excerpt from the non-fiction work-in-process book, Carpenter’s Daughter)

THE DANCE

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier

(Excerpt from the non-fiction work-in-process, Carpenter’s Daughter: 1952 words)

All copyrights reserved by author, Kaitlin Ann Trepanier

 

Watching him dance the night away with many of the available women of various ages, my heart sank when I concluded what I had been waiting for was not going to happen. Of course, what else could I realistically expect at a business party–or any party considering my bad behavior of late.

The day I started work at the company I saw the stranger glide across the warehouse’s cement floor. My heart raced, then thudded, when I looked at the ring still on my left hand. I knew my marriage was at an impasse and likely was ending because my husband refused outright the changes I, we, needed to make in order for me to follow my heart’s calling. even though he was already fulfilling his own dream. He also refused marriage counselling regardless of the fact we had separated once before. True, I had acted inappropriately to incite our split, but only because nothing else seemed to catch his attention seriously enough to notice we were falling apart. Some people, I have come to realize, want nothing to change and will spend more energy trying to keep things the same rather than use the energy to adapt, change, and grow.

Hearing my name called by the supervisor snatched my attention back to the present. Seeing the supervisor’s wave directing me to the back door, I noticed the stranger glide towards the exit too. “You go with him. He will show you,’ the Asian man grinned. I could not even look at the tall stranger for fear of him seeing my feelings on my face. Instead, I tucked my head down and followed his long stride with mine out the door.

“I’ll drive this time,” he said as we both slid into the small car. “You can drive a standard, right?’

“Yes, I drive a motorcycle,” I blurted as my sight caught the blue of his eyes.

Silently we drove to downtown Toronto and silently I watched his efforts as he pulled souvenir inventory and packed it into boxes before loading the boxes onto a trolley. Ready to head up to the stores to merchandise the products, we broke for lunch first.

Awkwardly sitting in the CN Tower’s food court, silence dominated the space between us. I felt his presence keenly just a few feet away from me and my breath caught every time I looked directly in to his eyes. Hoping for an icebreaker, I was relieved when he took out of his lunch bag several herbal capsules from a company I too was also using. The commonality broke the ice and an ease flowed between us. The afternoon flew by as did the training because the job was a simple, even if a time consuming one.

Offering me the keys the next day, he directed the route to Wonderland, but unfortunately with Wonderland not yet being open to the public and our access unexpectedly not available either, we had to delay the training session. With packed lunches in hand we made our way to one of the many parking lots islands of grass and trees. The car stood alone like sentinel on the vast sea of pavement.

“It’s my birthday,” he sighed as he opened the container of cupcakes. “She wouldn’t even make me a birthday cake.”

I would have made you a birthday cake my silent voice whispered in my head.

Sitting there alone in the expanse of empty space, our hearts pounded out our stories. Rain forced us into the small confined space of the car, but our words did not stop. Our breaths steamed the windows until we were forced to return to the company. For the first time ever, I did not feel alone.

What I did not know about me at the time is that I am highly intuitive in contrast to many other people, well, people that I knew anyway. I seemed to sense how important this new person was to me, but it did not make sense. With my head I found myself naively judging what was between us as just another physical attraction, while I also knew somehow our connection was so much more. But then again, because of my younger year experiences, I was kind of screwed up emotionally as my subsequent poor choices reveal.

In less than a month, I knew I was in love with him. For the first time a relationship for me was not about sex, but about mutual sharing of thoughts, ideas, and interests. I felt seen, heard, appreciated, and even admired, made even more evident by the lack of such experiences ever in my life.

What I also did not know then and in my life before him is how my primary love language is touch. Combined with discovering my personality type is very unusual, as is my learning style too, it is now easy to understand why my younger years were filled with traumas that impaired healthy development and relationships.

I did not know all this then. All I knew was I had to tell him how I felt, so I arranged to meet him outside of work. He brought CDs and videos for me and I brought anxiety and nervousness that prevented me from saying the words I knew I needed to say, but I was still mired in disbelief of what was transpiring.

“You can’t even say it,” he growled quietly as he looked away. Nonetheless, perched on a driftwood log on the beach, we both sat unwaveringly talking and sharing until the spring air cooled our bodies beyond the warmth our clothes provided.

When he grabbed my hand to pull me up over the edge of the bluff, electricity coursed through me and I could not speak. As I watched him pull away, I knew I had to leave my husband regardless of this man’s actions.

“You have to get unmarried,” he told me one sunny evening in the country school yard after he whirled his car into the parking lot after looking for and seeing my car in what was becoming our meeting place.

Ripping apart a twenty-year relationship, even if I knew it was the right and even moral thing to do broke my heart, but not as much as I knew staying would. Within a couple months, the few belongings I took from our suburban home filled my little country apartment.

The following month he left his partner; the girl who had broken his heart before because he knew it was a mistake to be with her for a second go round, so I was confused when all of a sudden he started to spend less time, professionally and personally with me.

I grew scared: scared because I never wanted anything or anyone as much as I wanted him and to be with him day and night. Of course, I did not know at the time, a big part of my woundedness was born from rejection and abandonment; therefore, me let me just say here and now the changing circumstances certainly did not bring out my best qualities, personally or professionally, which saddened and mortified me because I had grown accustomed to identifying strongly with my ability to do a good job no matter what, probably because I felt it was the only aspect of me people valued.

But then came the news of the company Christmas party and somehow I naively thought that would make things better. Wrong. Yet I really did know better. Previous corporate experience taught me company events are company events, not real social settings where one could just be one’s self. When he told me he was escorting a young woman from the company because her fiancé could not attend, I was conflicted, but the day of the event I told myself to make the best of it.

Rather than driving back home, I showered and changed at a friend’s place when I discovered he, who lived much further away, was using the company facilities to shower and change for the festivities because it felt too personal.

Agreeing to meet a female co-worker, who had become a confidant about the situation, was my attempt to calm myself before the party, but to no avail. When we walked through the ballroom’s doors together, suddenly she disappeared and there I was, standing beside a large pillar, my eyes scanning the large room bustling with many colours, voices, and music.

Self-consciously I considered what I was wearing when I saw more formal clothes on many of the women, but I waved the matter aside since I had not dressed for the women but for him. My body-fitting black dress was topped by a cropped red wool jacket and finished with a black pair of patent leather pumps, thrusting my height to six feet, high enough to see over most of the crowd. And there he was, far across on the other side of the room. Our eyes locked. I felt like I was in a movie. He was there and then he was gone. I looked anxiously about, but his over six foot frame was not to be seen. Dejected, I thought, what a bad idea it was coming to the party, but then, as always I felt his presence first before I saw him as he walked behind me and came to rest on my unprotected right side.

Just as he was appraising me with his eyes, our employer walked by, “Look at her,” he said as he waved his arm my way. Of course, I do not recall what our employer said because I was wrapped up in the man I loved surprised gaze and approving smile. With the employer gone, blue eyes reached out and ran his hand along my coat’s arm and then compared the feel of my jacket to his black cashmere. He smiled and said, “I am sitting with our department head,” which left me baffled, wondering where I was supposed to sit since it was obvious I would not be sitting with our department head and him.

Abandoned, but rescued by my confidante, we found seats at the front of the room with the sales team, directly across from my department’s table and blue eyes.

Not having partners, many of the women got up to dance as women do, including me. When he joined the little circles of women dancers, I watched him with an appreciative eye and when he slow-danced with his escort, then another female friend of his, whom I did not like, I whimpered inside wondering as the night passed by if he would ever dance with me.

The crowd was shrinking as the night faded as were my hopes. But then I felt his eyes upon me and before he even got to the table I stood up knowing he was coming for me. Following him to the dance floor, my heart raced and my breath quickened. I was worried I would do something foolish in front of all the people I knew were watching us. Then he put his hand on my back and grasped my other hand and whispered, “A perfect fit.”

My breath stopped briefly. The world faded away. I still do not recall what song played as we glided harmoniously across the small dance floor. All I knew is I was in heaven as I breathed in his scent and felt his firm hold that made me feel safe, secure, and treasured.

Then, the music stopped, he grabbed my hand and led me to his table to show me something he had co-created before he quickly released his grasp and I was left standing in a state of dizzying shock.

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Writer, Founder, and President of Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

www.connectingthedotswiththerespectprinciple.com

Smashwords interview @  www.smashwords.com

© All Rights Reserved 2014-2019

September 28, 2019

 

“The Narrowing of MINDS”

“How do you measure creativity if you never find it in the first place? As mentioned earlier, a concerning gaming glitch I have noticed over the past five to eight years is that youth are progressively less aware of their creative potential. Today, many kids don’t lose the creativity, they never find it.”

“They never become aware of the talent they potentially possess. Instead the “talent” is applied to gaming (and all i-media for that matter). This to me is a great tragedy, not only to the individual but to society as a whole.”

From I-Minds by Mari K. Swingle, page 73. New Society Publishers

On a personal note, my education in the 60’s and 70’s in a farming and industrial community did not make me aware of my talent, but did what it could to suppress any creative talent. The focus was becoming skilled as a worker to get a “real” job. Took me years, many tears, and much pain to correct my perspective about myself and to put myself on the right career track for me.

Whatever might have or is derailing your life, take your life back and do what is yours to do. Say your regrets for not knowing or standing up for yourself … until now … and move on in the most respectful and loving way you can for yourself and others … because being with people for the wrong reasons serves neither of you and in the end, hurts you both more than necessary.

Be bold. Be courageous. Be who you really are! You are worth it!

June 27, 2018

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2014

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT’S HAPPENING To Us and Our Brains?

“… On a biological as well as a cultural level such brain state changes affect learning, socialization, recreation, partnering, parenting, and creativity – in essence all factors that make a society and culture … we now see that excessive usage of digital media has a concrete relationship to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, and mood deregulation including anxiety, depression, and anger management, other forms of addiction, and all behaviors on the obsessive-compulsive spectrum.”

Extracts from page xix of i-Minds How Cell PHones, Computers, Gaming and Social Media are Changing Our Brains, Our Behavior, and the Evolution of Our Species.

Available at https://newsociety.com/Books/I/i-Minds 

June 11, 2018

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2014

 

 

Amanda Litman, “Never forget that activism and politics combined have brought us …”

“Never forget that activism and politics combined have brought us suffrage, the civil rights movement, marriage equality, the Affordable Care Act, and hundreds of thousands of seemingly small ordinances and laws that together make up the fabric of our civil society. Some days it seems like pushing a boulder uphill-victories will feel small and you won’t see immediate progress. But over the course of generations, the little wins will add up, changing your neighborhood, your town, your state, our country, our world. You can be a part of that.”

Amanda Litman, author of “Run for Something: A Real-Talk Guide to Fixing the System Yourself”

Grateful for all the ways people are “Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle” too without knowing about the global initiative to transform respect from the discretionary value it is to the global principle it can be.

Thank you Amanda. And thank you Oprah for the April 2018 Oprah Magazine with its focus, “What Would You Stand Up For?” that shared Amanda’s insights and wisdom.

May 15, 2018

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

 

What Kind of Friends Did You … Does Your Child Have?

In Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer’s book, Making Friends … A Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Child’s Friendships, Elizabeth highlights the different kinds of friends children, and I dare say, adults also have.

  • Imaginary
  • Best
  • Therapeutic
  • Different Age
  • Bad
  • Naughty
  • Bad Influence
  • Ones You Don’t Like
  • Family
  • Parents
  • Brothers and Sisters
  • Extended Family
  • Virtual/Cyber

Defining who and what is a friend reveals both the negative and positive qualities of each kind of friendship. Elizabeth also points out when having no obvious friend does not matter and why you should not worry, as well as, why friends matter and when they don’t.

Of course, reading Elizabeth’s book also paves the way for us to understand our adult friendships, whether they are a continuation of our childhood patterns and whether they are healthy for us and the children we influence.

Happy reading and discovering!

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Founder President Author Speaker Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

December 6, 2017

 

 

PROOFING, PRODUCTION, FILLING ORDERS, and …

Hello!

Late Sunday night, the manuscript formatting challenges were finally resolved and the book was sent to the printer. Being inaccessible myself yesterday, I was delighted to discover this morning that all is well and I should soon have the “book proof” in my hand. Once I do, I can give the okay to go ahead with the printing of the first 100 books … the Limited Edition … and then the next step of filling the orders, plus writing the letters for the soon-to-be book recipients who will help get “Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE” book into the fall school curriculum and anywhere else they feel it would be beneficial … any organization, community service groups, including group homes, prisons, etc.

Thanks to all who ordered your signed and numbered copy!

June 2, 2015

KAITLIN A. TREPANIER

Freeing “Potential” with Education, Entertainment, and Inspiration with the global initiative and core book Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

© All rights reserved 2014.

You pick … Putin, Napolean, Hitler, Caesar … from the history of “takers”

Taking what is not yours shows the disrespect you have for life … others and yours.

Taking by violent force what is not yours reveals the violence in your heart.

What was done to you, is what you do … until you know better … until you finally believe that you are valuable all on your own, without what you own defining you.

All the countries, people and possessions you think you own, in fact own you because you need them to feel valued … respected in a world still unconsciously driven by the Disrespect Philosophy where we are taught none of us are valuable unless someone or some group says we are by meeting their standards, qualifications, expectations …

When you finally stand in the truth of who you are as a unique individual with a high RESPECT LEVEL, you will no longer need to possess what is not yours, but instead will take the best care of your own self … and in that way, you will serve … and as a result … receive as a gift what you desire … instead of having to steal what is not yours to have.

March 26, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER … CREATIVE WRITER, ADVOCATE, and PROJECT SPECIALIST responsible for the creation of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

CTV’s findings from two-year investigation into the national crisis of violence in long-term (nursing) homes

The story ran on Friday on television and is still available on their website and I’m writing about it for you, your loved ones and for the quality of life we want for all people.

“Person-centred care” makes living at Sherbrooke Community Centre in Saskatoon “respect full.” A daycare, interaction with children, pets, family home design, music and arts, 2 staff per 10 residents translate into less psychotropic drugs and a significant increase in quality of life, including “Rementia” instead of “Dementia.” The founder has also been awarded a Meritous Award from the government for her ground-breaking work. For you and your loved ones, check out the full story on CTV’s website that resulted from their two-year investigation into violence in long-term care homes.

February 17, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Getting YOU the RESPECT YOU Want … Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

Karma, Reaping What We Sow or Lifetime Prisoners to Disrespect Philosophy Thinking?

What if what is accepted as karma … getting back what you gave … reaping what you sow … really is a fallacy based on the Disrespect Philosophy, the premise no one or nothing is valuable unless some one or some group says so?

Not that I am suggesting karma or reaping what you sow does not happen … spiritually and scientifically, both are proven by research and personal experience, my own included.

What I am asking us all to reconsider is the long-term effect of believing as we do instead of recognizing that living in a world driven by the unconscious belief, the Disrespect Philosophy, we may experience karma or reaping what we sow … repeatedly, because when we don’t change our negative belief about the karma or what we reaped as only an effect … a temporary one … we become prisoners of such thinking and will continue to experience over and over and over the same karma … the same reaping … which will reinforce our negative thinking and the negative thinking and judgment of others about us … thereby constantly reinforcing the Disrespect Philosophy that keeps individuals, families, communities, cultures and nations, including our global nation, prisoners of a core belief that has imprisoned us, as history shows, for centuries.

Breaking free results from becoming aware of what one’s core beliefs are … as reflected by the results we generate … and then doing our work to change our thinking to generate new results by new actions … breaking the karmic and harvesting cycle of what we once sowed to reap the benefits of our new seeds.

The majority of us are driven by what has been driving humanity since the beginning of time whether you look at it from a spiritual perspective or from a rationale, intellectual, scientific perspective. The Bible calls Satan the deceiver … one who lies about who people are as children of God. The deceiver from a scientific, intellectual rationale perspective I call the Disrespect Philosophy, which as humankind’s history and presence show, we are to treat no one with respect unless we or someone else has decided such a person or group is worthy of being respected … valued.

The opposite, empowering, compassionate as well as logical and practical rationale is the Respect Philosophy, which I renamed as The RESPECT PRINCIPLE simply because a principle means a foundational or core belief. Recognizing the results we and the world generate based on our global unconscious belief is the first step. Raising one’s personal RESPECT LEVEL is the next step because when our own RESPECT LEVEL rises, as I have experienced firsthand, so do results we then generate, reflect our reaping new growth, breaking free of the karma from the negative thinking that has shaped our lives.

We all fall down because we all make mistakes … that is if we are living, taking chances and risks to keep learning and growing … which means sometimes we fall or fail. The Disrespect Philosophy or Satan, whatever your belief, will do their best to keep you down and imprisoned till what’s left of your life is but a shadow of what we can become … and I believe with all my heart that most of us are so much more than what we have come to believe … regardless of the how and why.

Today, I say to you … you are so much more. I know this because I have been a prisoner of a low RESPECT LEVEL for most of my life … valuing other people more than myself, putting their needs first … but I firmly believe we are all valuable in our own unique ways and that when we discover what those ways are, we create the best life for our self and therefore have our best self to share with the world … and that together, there is nothing that will stop us from finally breaking free so we can create a better world … the likes of which has not yet been seen in humanity’s time.

So, what is holding you prisoner? Or are you one of the fortunate few already free?

Regardless, bravo to you, for making the changes you need to be who you are destined to be!

February 15, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Getting YOU the RESPECT YOU Want … Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist <strong … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.