Bullying … The “Disrespect Philosophy’s” Enforcer

From a secular view, the dominant philosophy that has shaped humans since the beginning of time is Disrespect.

The Disrespect Philosophy is simple. Its premise is that no person or life is valuable until someone says it is … based on what that someone, or a collective of “someones” say what is to be valued … respected.

In other words, the Disrespect Philosophy is about control: control that is misunderstood in contrast to true power. Control simply is a lack of trust in and of the world for life to be fair, for resources to be available to all … which all of our fears are driven by … thereby creating a low RESPECT LEVEL that we have been conditioned to use to fill the void of not feeling valued … respected in the Disrespect Philosophy world humanity has been living in for thousands of years … because not enough of us have connected the dots to see what we keep recreating … which, by the way, the Disrespect Philosophy strives to do in order to keep itself and its enforcers in power.

The guard and enforcer of the Disrespect Philosophy is bullying: the means used to coerce others into accepting the Disrespect Philosophy without question. How? Simply by the conviction we are taught that no one is valuable unless someone(s) says they are and the qualifiers for being considered valuable are based on the whims of those who have put themselves in positions of power to control.

Without high enough RESPECT LEVELS in families, family members are subject to the negative conditioning and the power struggle ensues. Those who take power do so by bullying. Sometimes subtle, often ingenious, sometimes emotional, psychological or physical, bullying comes in all shapes and sizes and affects, because of our lack of awareness of the Disrespect Philosophy, everyone.

The Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality profiling system presented by Carl Jung and further developed by the Myers – Briggs team. The fundamental basis of the MBTI is there are two primary personality types: Extroverts (E) and Introverts (I). According to the MBTI, Extroverts’ brains require primarily external stimulus for their brains to work at their best, while Introverts brains, on the contrary, often need a fair amount of time to work and be alone because of the constant internal stimulation in their brains they have to contend with.

There are two significant challenges the contrasting types brings to our world. One, the world is dominated in sheer numbers by the Extroverts and two, as a result the Extroverts, in a Disrespect Philosophy driven world want the rest of the world to be like them … and as a result, the enforcers … the bullies become conditioned at a very young age.

Not that only E’s become bullies, I’s do also, but more from reaction than action.

The reason is the Introverts are more driven by their brains to reflect, plus research, study, and analyze differences and as a result tend to be more understanding and often accepting of other people’s differences. Extraverts, on the other hand, will often respond to Introverts’ quietness, reserve and withdrawal as a rejection of them and in our Disrespect Philosophy world take the I’s actions personally … and the battles begin by employing the different methods of bullying: prejudging, teasing, belittling, tormenting, harassing, rejecting, isolating, neglecting, violating, abusing, and killing … spirits as well bodies.

Many Introverts, especially those with the dominant function of “Feeling” will often withdraw inward further or may even remove themselves physically to avoid battles with Extroverts which they will seldom win fighting in the Extraverted bullying manner … but, instead will use time and strategies to fight such battles. Without high RESPECT LEVELS, it is a lose lose proposition for both.

Extroverted bullies need audiences; Introverted bullies eventually seek quiet revenge … yet since we are driven to be more Extroverted to be in our Disrespect Philosophy driven world, Extroverts and Introverts can act very contrary to their natural, inherent personality type.

What happens in our childhood years does not stay in our childhood years … including the bullying (conditional love) we have been shaped by … it follows us no matter where we go … school, community, work, and into all of our relationships. The only way we become free from the Disrespect Philosophy enforcer, bullying, is to recognize it for what it is … something that strives to make us feel less valuable than everyone else so we bully others to make ourselves feel more valuable than others and therefore keep the world spinning out of control by the chaos maker, the Disrespect Philosophy.

We are valuable … each and every one of us for the unique gifts, talents and strengths we have to contribute to help make the world, including our personal and private worlds, better places to live … to thrive.

December 16, 2013

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

Offense: Bullying … A School’s Definition Still Rings True Beyond Our School Years

Offense: Bullying
Explanation: While bullying can involve a single, severe behavior, bullying is usually defined as repeated negative behaviors intended to frighten or cause harm that may include, but are not limited to verbal, written, or electronic (virtual) threats or physical harm. Examples of bullying include, but are not limited to:
1. physical intimidation, taunting, name calling, and insults;
2. comments regarding the race, gender, religion, physical abilities, or characteristics of a person or his associates, and
3. false statements about other persons.

While researching a high school as a potential candidate for the inaugural Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE SCHOOL PRESENTATION PACKAGE, consisting of The Talk, The Play and The Book Event, when I was reviewing the Chesapeake, Virginia’s Guide for Parents and Students, I copied their definition of Offense: Bullying and pasted it here, because it struck me how the definition reflects “Bullying” behavior found in all kinds of places: at home, at work and in our communities-at-large, demonstrating repeatedly, that even though such behavior may be held in check while in school because of the possible remedial consequences, once removed from the custodial threats of the school system, young adults turn into adults who carry on the offense: bullying, often without really being aware that the same definition still applies … though the consequences to the bully and bullied that go unchecked continue to reinforce negative attitudes and behavior that will ultimately cost us in either health, social and correctional care and for some death because of the unrecognized damage and its cumulative toll.

Bullying is bullying no matter age a person is … and it is an offense, whether you are in school or not, because it is a violence targeted towards another life.

September 21, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist <em>… because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED

You Don’t Know Any Kids Who Would Do Any of These Things … Right?

Based on recent true events in Kincardine, Ontario, but as I have seen and experienced, the location and events are reflective of many other towns and cities I have lived in over the years.

1. Three teenage girls walking after school one day, see an older woman with gray hair approaching. Giggling and making strange faces, they tense their bodies and form a solid wall with the obvious intent to make the lone woman walk around them. Used to such tactics after living in the city, the woman, me, walks firmly ahead without yielding. The girls stride forward till finally the shoulders of the lone woman and the teen collide briefly before each move on.

2. Three teen boys striding down a sidewalk on a steep hill, force a younger boy on his bicycle off the sidewalk and onto the road into the oncoming traffic lane, which fortunately, at that moment had no vehicles coming over the hill so the young boy was not in immediate danger.

3. A grade six boy falls off his bicycle while cycling on the sidewalk instead of on the very busy street on his way home from school. Crashing onto the asphalt of a driveway, his bare knee and hand are scraped raw and blood oozes out of his knee. The other older boy who had been riding on the road comes back to the fallen one and tells him to just ignore it and get up and get moving. The younger boy is in tears so he provides his phone number and his mother is called, but there is no answer. Balancing my own bike and the boy’s, the three of us walk along, but the older boy is tormenting the younger boy. In his torment, the older boy actually trips the younger boy by walking too close to him, so I tell him to ride on ahead. I mention something about bullying behavior and the young boy tells me the older boy is his brother. Bullies are bullies, I said, whether they are related or not. And sometimes, related bullies are even harder to deal with.

Just three short events sending out the messages “I can bully anyone I want to … because I can.”

Of course, the children and youth involved, were nobody’s we know, right? But check out the research and stories on “peer pressure” and “pack mentality” … or you could just watch the news.

September 18, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE</em> Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED

Not Doing the Right Thing: The Bystanders’ Cost

Most of us have come to think of bullying in school is the only place bystanders are found, but people are bystanders any time we do not do the right thing.

Why? We are afraid … for our safety, for the financial cost, of what others will think, etc., etc., etc.

But being afraid, as I have learned and history shows, only creates more fear and more circumstances to create more fear.

One of the good things we are finally accepting we must do, is to tell our kids to stand up for those being bullied, even if that mostly means reporting bullies and not personally intervening.

But have you wondered where our kids have learned to be bystanders in the first place?

As in the past and right now in the present, our children, tweens, teens and young adults are watching us respond as they hear about or see the pictures of the children, women and men being decimated by leaders in Syria who want the country for themselves and those they approve of … just like school yard bullies do.

What we do, how we respond will teach them the lessons they will carry into the rest of their lives … it will teach them what they should do … to walk away like many did for so long with Germany and other places taken over by dictators … the bullies with big visions that started out as the small bullies in the school yard or to stand tall and say, No. You cannot do such things and get away with them.

Canada may not have the military resources to give, but we certainly have a wealth of resources and an economy that was not hit as hard as the United States and other countries, so we should be giving more than our verbal support … we should be giving our financial support too.

Believe me, years of experience has taught me that doing the right thing is seldom easy and often meets resistance … and it costs us, but not near as much as being a bystander and having to live with the knowledge we could have and should have done more. We deserve the peace of mind that comes from knowing we did the best we could … we gave what we could and even more than what was comfortable, because when we need help, and we all will at some point in our life, we will want others to help us … and for the most part, that will only come after we were the first to give to others who needed us, even if the ones we help are not the ones who end up helping us … for life is sweet that way.

But right now, today, the people in Syria who are being slaughtered by those who want control of Syria and its resources need us to send the message to the bullies that, just like the bullies in the schoolyard, their behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated … because we know the right thing to do and we can untie to draw on each other for the support we need to do the right thing. Anything less makes us just another bystander whose real character will be revealed by history.

September 7, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED

What Do a Frosh Rape Chant and Syria’s Politics Have in Common?

A low Respect Level for other life are what the St. Mary’s University Frosh Rape Chant and Syria’s politics have in common. Why? Because the people who created, promoted, and participated in the this week’s chant and those in Syria, who are reducing their country’s population by violent acts, are seeking to raise themselves above others by putting down other people through the threat of violence or the actual violence.

Across our country, the statistics reveal the Frosh Rape Chant is not just a chant … but for some people in colleges and universities, the Frosh Rape Chant is an incentive, even an approval or a justification for their violent act and for others, a consequence for being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people, manifested by a culture that approves of taking out their own low Respect Level for life on others in order to make themselves feel better or to feel above other people.

As for Syria’s leadership, as history sadly reveals, mass annihilation has been done before … has been going on since the beginning of time and we are still slow in recognizing that inaction is like it is in all bullying … bystanders’ approval … because bystanders are worried about the impact on them … their own safety, the financial cost, but by not acting on behalf of those being harmed, bystanders give their stamp of approval for the same to be afflicted upon them at some time … when they/we will need the help of others. As for Syria’s leaders, the reason is the same … they have such a low Respect Level for themselves, they erroneously believe the only way they can rise above is on the backs and bodies of others, but on the contrary, one can only rise above others when the people you lead raise you up in gratitude for your superb leadership, fuelled by your compassion and care for those you lead.

The good news is that as our individual and global awareness grows in mass understanding that what we dish out to others goes out into the world and comes back to us, often magnified upon rebound, we can help those who do not yet understand that what they do comes from feeling “less than” and the only way they will feel “equal to” is by learning to raise their own Respect Level to at least the level that they seek not to harm others and hopefully to live and thrive in peace, respecting our differences as well as our commonalities, so we can create a better world than what we have so far.

September 7, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED