Perspective on “Respect and Love” From World-Renowned Psychologist Alice Miller and …

“I love my children if I can respect them with all their feelings and their needs and try to fulfill those needs as best as I can. If I see them not as persons whose rights are just as sacrosanct as my own, but as objects that I have to correct, then that is not love.”

Free From Lies Discovering Your True Needs, Alice Miller, p 223

“Most parents don’t want to hurt their children; they do it automatically, by repeating that they themselves learned when they were small. We can help them to refrain from this destructive behavior by explaining to them why it is so destructive. Then they can wake up and make a choice.”

Free From Lies Discovering Your True Needs, Alice Miller, p 240

The introduction and study of Alice Miller’s body of work changed and played a big role in healing my life. Fueled by my deep compassion for all people, what I learned about respect and love from Alice Miller inspired my development of the Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle concept, company, books, products, services, and global initiative. My compassion and respect for everyone, plus my understanding of what needs to change in our world drives me every day to keep moving forward with this body of work that will hopefully help many others as Alice helped so many too.

April 14, 2018

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Activist Social Scientist Founder Entrepreneur Author Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

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KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Human/Animal Rights Advocate Author Artist Entrepreneur Administrator

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

April 9, 2018

How To Save Money and Reduce Shrinkage Grocery Retailers

Once upon a time when combined incomes meant I could buy whatever grocery items I wanted, I was thrilled though not very wise because I didn’t give much thought to buying sale items or even comparing prices.

On my own over the years, my shopping habits have changed, but grocery stores don’t like the changes.

For example, today when I stopped at the second grocery store (the first is where I buy most of my groceries) because they had Mentos on sale for .79 versus 1.29 and I wanted three packages), plus I remembered I wanted to buy beets also, I walked into the grocery store to check out beet pricing. First, for convenience, I checked out the beets in a jar price and the ingredients. Then I returned to the front of the store for the produce section. Less beets, but fresher, without sugar, and nice looking greens was the better buy, but when I got to the checkout, the cashier asked was that all?

And I get it. As someone who worked in retail management I know certain shopping behaviors could be misunderstood as shoplifting maneuvers, especially when stores and staff observe someone regularly shopping for sale items and not loading up a cart of groceries as expected every week or two. However, when one’s income is generally small and/or sporadic, plus when one desires to live without using credit, you learn to be a wise shopper.

But the stores are a big part of the problems too since many stores do not put their sale or discounted items at the front of a store, but instead have shelf specials and racks stuck at the back or in certain sections.

As a result, I developed the habit of cruising a store for the sales and discounted items first, then going back to the beginning to see what I could still afford, which meant sometimes I was going back and forth, while deciding what was the best deal and the best food balance for the money.

We know inventory shrinkage costs the stores and the customers, us, money because the stores increase their prices to compensate. So here’s the business challenge store owners. … review and revise your marketing strategies … for all of your customers … and to reduce shrinkage also.

Don’t just focus on selling volume expecting all people to shop one way to meet your expectations and needs. Group your sale and discounted items in one area. Yes, some people will only buy sale and discounted items, but the majority won’t, especially if you manage your sale and discounted items effectively.

And to avoid internal shrinkage, be respectful of your staff and pay above poverty level wages, which will also reduce turnover and increase loyalty.

An Important FYI …

Some of the wealthiest and supposedly the most upstanding people in a community I have met have turned out to be the worst people/employers … taking advantage of their staff, shortchanging employees, paying cash to avoid paying legal benefits, manipulating and controlling through sexual intonations and threats of firing … even withholding pay for work already done and worse, but that’s another story.

Of course, you can also check the statistics, but then again, many people won’t report because of fear of repercussions.

Just saying … it’s all about perspective and willingness to know the truth rather than scapegoating and blaming others.

P.S. The money you save can also make you feel better as a member of the human race by paying living versus poverty wages.

 

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Advocate Innovator Entrepreneur Founder Author Artist Speaker

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

March 7, 2018

Humble … The Trick Is Understanding Your Worth

Been seeing posts on being humble, so I have shared a link and its definitions, yet I am also going to share my perspective …
 
There are a lot of contradictory words listed below, but my experience has taught me this … when a person tries to step out and be an individual, especially one different from the pack one comes from, the pack will often attempt to push such a person back down with words like, “Who do you think you are?, “Arrogant, aren’t you?” “Big ego, how do you hold your big head up?” “You should humble yourself because you are no better than anyone else.”
 
I also know from experience those who have been pushed down a lot often have to develop a large ego just to keep getting back up, that is, until as I discovered later in life, I do not have to justify being myself because I am just as entitled as everyone else to respect … being valued … simply for being a life.
 
People don’t have to like me, approve of me, etc., and I don’t have to like them, approve of them etc. either, but I will not cut people down, try to make them feel small or insignificant in order to make myself feel better because I don’t have to anymore because I know better now.
 
I also learned psychologists know recovering from what I went through is unlikely for many.
 
Yes, I have had to deal with the inflated ego I developed because of how badly broken my heart and spirit had become because otherwise I would not still be alive. It’s been a long process that took a lot of personal work and healing. God helped me though through the hardest parts when no one else could or would and when I could no longer help myself. He helped me to really believe that I am valuable too, just as He helped me to believe in the work He put in my heart to do … to help everyone … believers or not … to realize that every life is valuable … worthy of respect … and that each person needs to discover what their unique purpose is and to fulfill that purpose regardless of what others think, judge, or condemn … because it is not a person’s judgment we face at the end of our lives … it’s ours … and if you are a believer … His.
 

 KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Advocate Innovator Entrepreneur Founder Author Artist Speaker

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

February 23, 2018
 
 
humble
ˈhəmbəl/
adjective
adjective: humble; comparative adjective: humbler; superlative adjective: humblest
 
1.
having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance.
“he was humble about his stature as one of rock history’s most influential guitarists”
synonyms: meek, deferential, respectful, submissive, diffident, self-effacing, unassertive; More
unpresuming, modest, unassuming, self-deprecating;
subdued, chastened
“her bearing was humble”
antonyms: proud, overbearing
(of an action or thought) offered with or affected by a modest estimate of one’s own importance.
“my humble apologies”
2.
of low social, administrative, or political rank.
“she came from a humble, unprivileged background”
synonyms: lowly, working-class, lower-class, poor, undistinguished, mean, modest, ignoble, low-born, plebeian, underprivileged; More
common, ordinary, simple, inferior, unremarkable, insignificant, inconsequential
“a humble background”
antonyms: noble
(of a thing) of modest pretensions or dimensions.
“he built the business empire from humble beginnings”
synonyms: modest, plain, simple, ordinary, unostentatious, unpretentious
“my humble abode”
antonyms: grand
 
verb
verb: humble; 3rd person present: humbles; past tense: humbled; past participle: humbled; gerund or present participle: humbling
 
1.
lower (someone) in dignity or importance.
“I knew he had humbled himself to ask for my help”
synonyms: humiliate, abase, demean, lower, degrade, debase; mortify, shame, abash;
informal cut down to size, deflate, make eat humble pie, take down a peg or two, settle someone’s hash, make eat crow
“he had to humble himself to ask for my help”

Violence Diminishes when “Respect Levels” Rise … Raise Yours to Help

I just applied to do a TED Talk to take the “Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle” concept to the global audience so they can discover why, how, and what they can do to make “Respect” their foundational belief, regardless of their other foundational beliefs, such as religion, politics, sex, etc., way of speaking and acting in their circles of influences so everyone knows they matter … whatever their skin color, background, social status, financial worth, and any other discriminatory category/label someone wants to segregate and devalue them with …

… because people who truly value … respect themselves, also value … respect others … and they have no desire or need to make others feel small or to harm them.

Maybe enough people are finally ready to listen to discover what they can personally do to make the needed changes. I sure hope so, but regardless, I will keep on until they are.

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Founder President Author Speaker Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

February 20, 2018

Abraham Lincoln Inspired Me and …

Like Lincoln, since 1997 I have traveled, lived, and worked among many people. When combined with my own experiences, both revealed how many Canadians in Ontario live, from the wealthy to the poorest. Everyone, no matter their title or not, status or none, their income or lack of, etc. inspired me come up with something we could all use, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle, to co-create better lives for everyone … which Abraham Lincoln greatly influenced.

Thank you for sharing more of his story in the article on the following link …

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2018/02/former-slaves-stories-abraham-lincoln/552917/

February 16, 2018

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Founder President Author Speaker Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015