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Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle ... The Why, the How, and the Benefits

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER

Founder President Author Speaker Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

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MIXED MESSAGES … FREE SPEECH … without a High RESPECT LEVEL …

Based on Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE’S RESPECT SCALE, we can “connect the dots” with a fresh perspective to see how “free speech,” without a high enough Respect Level, is often used for oppression and in reality, is used as a violent act of aggression … sometimes even as a precursor to physical violence.

Making fun of people has consequences … especially people already showing signs of low Respect Levels themselves because of their history, beliefs, and experience plus don’t share our western cultural approval of making fun of people for the fun of it … or for any other reason … adds fuel to always-burning embers … and as we have seen, it only takes one or two who feel maligned and hurt to burst at the seams and unleash the havoc they did in Paris last week … or the havoc unleashed at work places and schools.

Standing up for free speech is vital … yet so is standing up for how free speech is used to hurt and harm rather than to promote if not understanding, at least tolerance and peace.

The solidarity we need is for valuing … respecting all life and developing new methods of communication and cross-cultural relations that is logical, practical … and compassionate … for everyone … particularly for those hurting the most … those most likely to lash out … it is the only way we will peacefully diminish violence of any kind … globally.

January 12, 2015

KAITLIN A. TREPANIER
The RESPECT SPECIALIST & PEACEMAKER … Freeing “Potential” with Education, Entertainment, and Inspiration!

CONNECT … with RESPECT!

ORDER the powerful little book Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE
PURCHASE the performance rights for CHARLES’ CHOICE for your school and community
FUND the KICKSTARTER-approved project … the workshop and production of CHARLES’ CHOICE … between January 5th and 25th 2015

… BECAUSE every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

© All rights reserved 2014.

Difficult People … or Difficult World?

We have all met them. People who just rub us the wrong way … who get our back up … who we just want to say or do something to in order to let them know we do not like them, don’t approve of them, their choices, lifestyle … whatever.

In fact, as books, television, movies and the news show us, many of us even have family members we just can’t stand … and for some people their feelings about other family members even motivate them to commit crimes, even murder.

But are people being difficult for the sake of being difficult? Are people you consider difficult really difficult … or just different? And how much different?

In Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE, my goal was to transform and provide a wealth of knowledge from the various fields of academic study and present them to our youth and to those who do not spend their time reading academic or even popular culture books.

As a result, one of the key components of the book presents the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) … a psychological profiling tool used by organizations and high-level academic institutions to help them secure the people with the personality type, along with other factors, best required for the role they need filled. Initially proposed by Carl Jung, one of the two forerunners of psychology, the other being Sigmund Freud, Jung suggested there were several personality types and then later, the team of Myers-Briggs took his work and made it more accessible as a psychological assessment tool. Later, other teams, such as consultants Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger made the psychological tool more accessible with their books Do What You Really Are and The Art of Speed Reading People.

The core of the MBTI is there are sixteen personality types, though primarily divided by two main key elements that are supported by other components. The key element defines how a person experiences the world as a result of the way their brain functions and processes information.

Introvert brains are highly stimulated internally and as a result, they require quieter, more removed from the mainstream work and living environments to thrive.

Extrovert brains have a much lower internal stimulus level and as a result, thrive when their environment, is bustling and filled with data their brains covert into knowledge.

You can read more about the MBTI in my book, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE or in the previous authors works, but for now, let’s just consider the accessible knowledge there are sixteen personality types, plus all the other influences of family, community, culture, financial status … plus what I call the Disrespect Philosophy that drives our unconscious conditioning, motivating us to think that a person should have to “earn or be awarded” respect … to be valued for just being a life.

Add religion, politics and the low RESPECT LEVELS of many people conditioned by the experience of being raised and living in a Disrespectful Philosophy-driven global culture and suddenly, it is easy to see it isn’t so much “difficult people” as it is a “difficult world.”

Difficult only though because one, we have been taught to not value others not like ourselves and two because, until now, we had not connected the dots to see each other differently from ourselves … and to accept not everyone has to be like us. Seeing “difficult” people through this new lens empowers us to positively change our thinking, our words and of course, our actions.

So what if we don’t like someone or approve of them? With our own increased awareness that boosts our own RESPECT LEVEL we learn our feelings or thoughts are not cause to hurt or harm with gossip, judgment, neglect or with physical violence. We learn we are just different and that difference is good, even great! Great because acknowledging our differences empowers us to more fully develop our differences, which is our potential, and as a result, to become more realized individuals … and citizens.

Difficult people? No. Just a difficult world shaped by the negative, limiting and harmful Disrespect Philosophy and supported by a lack of knowledge … till now.

June 4, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All rights reserved by KAITLIN A. TREPANIER/ DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS … Creative Writer, Visual Artist and The RESPECT Specialist, architect of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

Dynamic Duo! Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE and Suze Orman’s The MONEY CLASS

It does not matter how much money we make, without a high enough RESPECT LEVEL, we will still spend more than we make. Speaking from experience and the debt statistics, especially credit card debt and mortgage debt, many of us have at times acted like children given a free rein in a candy shop … ultimately making ourselves sick by not having a high enough RESPECT LEVEL empowering us to make good financial decisions … forcing us to feel sick to our stomach, either from all the junk we have eaten or because of the overdue bills that keep arriving in our mailbox.

Even after achieving Honours in Business Administration at age twenty-nine, I still did not get it. What I did get was a much better income and because conditioned ways of thinking about money and debt were still rooted in my mind, I also generated a lot more debt … because that is what we do, so the statistics stories say is true.

Even when I wanted to change my lifestyle and career to set my life on a better course doing what I wanted to do, the old way of thinking was still rooted deep in me and I made many more not-so-great choices that negatively affected my life and the lives of many others.

And even a few years ago, though my RESPECT LEVEL had risen some because of my dedicated efforts, I realized too late I was still facing the same foe … and though I had been free and clear of debt for years, back on the same horse I climbed and piled up debt once again that I have to get out of again.

But this time, to the rescue came an increasing RESPECT LEVEL for myself and others and a determination to break the bonds of such low thinking. One important tool aiding the mindset change is the wealth of knowledge Suze Orman provides in her 2010 book, The Money Class.

Near the end of her book, Suze’s comment that reading her book may have felt like an intense university course was right on the mark. Her book, The Money Class, is a valuable resource and guide that I studied by writing copious notes because I remember the most effectively and efficiently when I write things out. To my studies, I brought a very open and eager mind desiring to learn how to be different when it comes to my relationship with money, a willingness to acknowledge I did not know everything about money management, and in fact, the admission there was a lot I did not know, from teaching children how to manage money, to funding their college funds, when to start saving for retirement and how, plus what kind of insurance to buy for one’s lifetime.

Suze is a kind, compassionate, yet a firm teacher as her core philosophy shows: People first, money second, things third.

For years, because of my low RESPECT LEVEL, like many other people I put people first, usually ahead of myself, things second and money last but as I am building the highest RESPECT LEVEL I have ever had, my core belief about money is shifting to Suze’s philosophy on money in our lives … and one day, the financial wealth I always dreamed of but did not believe was possible will be mine, especially now that God is in the mix too. As I am discovering, The Bible has lots of financial guidance too and stories of unparalleled success when one lines up with His advice on money matters.

After my studies and transformed thoughts about money and its effective management, I firmly believe Suze’s book, The Money Class, broken down in sections, should be part of the education system from middle school to high school and onward into colleges and universities … that is, if we want a more responsible and viable economic community built on the strengths of solid financial knowledge and a high enough RESPECT LEVEL to make debt, particularly the debilitating kind, a thing of the past … I know I am and even just the idea of that freedom fills me with such peace and amazement … I so look forward to that day, yet I am also enjoying the journey of becoming debt free by starting with the changing of my mindset.

These two things alone will radically change our world for the better. I hope it does yours, for the ones you love and even for those you just respect … value … because they are people just trying to do the best they can too.

April 16, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER … Advocate, Creative Writer and The RESPECT SPECIALIST responsible for the creation of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

You pick … Putin, Napolean, Hitler, Caesar … from the history of “takers”

Taking what is not yours shows the disrespect you have for life … others and yours.

Taking by violent force what is not yours reveals the violence in your heart.

What was done to you, is what you do … until you know better … until you finally believe that you are valuable all on your own, without what you own defining you.

All the countries, people and possessions you think you own, in fact own you because you need them to feel valued … respected in a world still unconsciously driven by the Disrespect Philosophy where we are taught none of us are valuable unless someone or some group says we are by meeting their standards, qualifications, expectations …

When you finally stand in the truth of who you are as a unique individual with a high RESPECT LEVEL, you will no longer need to possess what is not yours, but instead will take the best care of your own self … and in that way, you will serve … and as a result … receive as a gift what you desire … instead of having to steal what is not yours to have.

March 26, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER … CREATIVE WRITER, ADVOCATE, and PROJECT SPECIALIST responsible for the creation of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

Seeing past personality types, learning styles, body types and beliefs … to see and swim a new way.

We are complex creatures and not one of us is the same as another. Even identical twins have differences although not necessarily obvious to the eye.

Knowing this fact, accepting this reality, can be the compelling reason for us to consider, and put into practice, the fresh perspective that will serve us all well to see past personality types, learning styles, body types and our unique blend of beliefs is to operate on one universal principle.

Of course, the ideal is love … unconditional love, but as evidenced by our past and present, just the idea of valuing … respecting each unique person is a tall order in our global culture of Disrespect. The taller order is actually learning how to respect … to value all life in our words and actions … every day … in all our relationships, connections and interactions.

A simple example of how we struggle with this idea and simply resort to our conditioned response of prejudice is what I have experienced with a personal goal: the process of changing my swimming style.

Water has pulled me into its depths all my life. As a child, I spent hours on the river’s edge and within no time at all, following my Dad’s example, my child’s body was slicing through the green water to cross to the other side of the river. Though I have been told I did not take well to the public swimming pool and provided lessons, my swimming skills demonstrate I nonetheless did learn different swim strokes as well as the basics of diving, but it was only recently I discovered my swimming style was called the Tarzan stroke.

For known and unknown reasons, my swimming style meant I kept my head lifted out and above the water. One of the known reasons, though not entirely understood why, was to stop water from going up my nose. Yet diving is one of my favorite aspects of swimming.

In fact, one year, after a tumultuous period of my life, I even taught myself how to swan dive. Till then, I had never learned successfully how to use a spring diving board, so learning how to swan dive meant observing all users of spring boards and of course, especially the children, with their lack of fear and their bold fun who taught me to just let go and get comfortable with falling in the water in all kinds of ways; which also meant letting to of what people thought of a grown woman flopping into a pool as I grew accustomed to being out of control, so I could gain more trust in the process to achieve my goal.

In one winter season, my unconventional learning style did result in my ability to spring my body high into the air with arms spread wide and legs pulled together in proper form before my arms returned to their entry position as my body curved and sliced the pool’s surface. Sometimes on my entries my body was more rolled than straight and into an underwater somersault my body would roll. Sometimes my body was so straight and pointed, down to the bottom my arrowed body would rush. And sometimes, my body would have just enough of a curve to take me down so far but then gracefully sweep me back up to the surface. Even without a camera, I knew I was successful in completing my goal because of the response from observers, including the lifeguards.

A few years ago when I moved back to the home of my late teens and twenties where one of the greatest bodies of water, Lake Huron, once challenged and strengthened my swimming abilities, I soon realized how much I had let my swimming strength diminish. Upon my return, I also discovered one of the newer challenges I wanted to experience, surfing, is becoming a growing popular sport at the town’s main beach because of the dynamics of the breakwall, piers and currents.

A significant water level drop since I owned property south of the town’s border and even south of the area known as Boiler Beach has resulted in significant lake changes, including rip currents that develop in between sandbars and beside piers; rip currents that can thrust even an accomplished swimmer across the surface of the water in seconds, leaving them disoriented and if not wise in the ways of these sometimes volatile waters, stranded in deep water, exhausted from fighting the water’s stronger force. Safe swimming, as well as surfing and any other water activity, is now best-managed by learning how rip currents work, how to get out of their often frightening grasp, more safety strategies and tools, plus stronger swimming skills for this great lake.

For me, stronger swimming skills translates into face-in-the water comfort by learning to swim the crawl as opposed to wasting energy trying to keep myself alive by keeping my head above water at all times by swimming the energy-zapping Tarzan stroke. Changing a fifty-year style of swimming has not been easy or as quick as some would hope … especially people with different personality types, learning styles, body types and beliefs.

As a result of a lot of personal work, I know me very well these days and that includes the recognition none of the above … personality types, learning style, body types and even beliefs are the same as the majority. First, many people like constant attention while learning. In contrast, I excel when I gather new information and then go off on my own to practice and experiment because someone constantly talking at me is a distraction to me, but welcomed by other personality types. When I need more information, I come back for more, taking all the pieces and working on them individually before I start integrating them. For example, two of the biggest challenges I faced was getting used to putting my face horizontal in the water and learning how to breathe as I lifted my face partially out of the water, first to the right and eventually also to the left. Changing my kick from a thrust to a constant flutter meant developing the muscles in my hips and legs in new ways. Then there were the goggles, the bathing cap, getting the arm strokes coordinated with the breathing and the face in the water plus the new style of kick, etc.

Knowing what I know about my personality type, learning style and even body type, I should have known better than to take lessons in a big class with so many swimmers who, as it turns out, already swim the way I was there to learn how to do.

So, after two classes, I took the information provided, did some research of my own and started swimming on my own, breaking down old habits and instilling new ones, which, of course is taking time, though in truth it has only been a few months. Still, I find several people are quick to share their opinions about what I am doing wrong even though they know nothing about me other than what they see in their mind snapshots of my swimming endeavors.

Yet I know, if observers do not have the same personality type as I they will not understand how I work well on my own, breaking down big pictures into the details in order to construct a new big picture. They will not know that my body type is first a sprinter, excelling in activities that require quick and short bursts of great speed and that in order for me to become an endurance performer, I first have to train my body and mind with how it works best … using my natural speed with an element at a time until I can bring all the elements together quickly … in a flash, so I can experience what the new way of swimming I am striving for feels like … so I can build that feeling into my endurance training and goals.

“You swim too fast, your head is not deep enough in the water, you need a camera with video to watch your form,” are just some of the comments and suggestions I have heard, albeit, no doubt with good intentions, but yet at the same time this experience greatly demonstrates how we like, prefer even, everyone to be like us … to do as we do, to act as we act, to think as we think, to learn as we learn … and yet, no matter how much we may try, we are not like anyone else … and never will be without losing our own identity. We, each of us, are unique combinations of a number of factors, none of which is duplicated in anyone else.

Learning to appreciate we are not like everyone else and to understand that our differences from others does not make us or anyone else wrong, but just different is a very important step in making our world a safer and more peaceful place to live.

Valuing … respecting our differences, as well as our similarity in being unique creatures, is a huge step in making our world the safer and the most peaceful place we all want to live.

Hmmm, on that note, it is off to the pool I go in a few hours to recapture the new feeling I experienced during my last swim session when everything finally came together … speed, stroke, right and left breathing. Now I can begin to refine my form and build up my endurance so I will be ready this summer to be the swimmer and surfer I envision myself to be.

March 17, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER … CREATIVE WRITER, ADVOCATE, and PROJECT SPECIALIST responsible for the creation of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

Cats and dogs … the cost paid for our love … huge vet bills or neglect, abuse and euthanization

The facts and the story … we can do better!

According to statistics from the Ontario SPCA and other animal protection groups and service providers, thousands of cats and dogs are killed on purpose each year in shelters because of their sheer volume.

A volume created by cats and dogs not being spayed and neutered so they cannot have more unwanted babies that grow into the cats and dogs that have to be euthanized.

But kittens and puppies are cute. Many people want the cute babies … but not so much when they find out the commitment they need, the care, cost and training they need and of course, that cats and dogs, like people, lose their baby cuteness and the behavior and antics that once seemed cute and endearing are troublesome and are desired gone … and if they do not disappear as their owners wish, many of the cats and dogs are forced to disappear by being released in the country, dropped off at shelters, neglected, abused and even killed by their adoptive parent(s) or strangers.

Then there is the disparity between what veterinary clinics charge for spaying/neutering and what places like the SPCA charge. Vet clinic prices ranges start around $400.00, though locally, the total charge is even higher once all the other costs are added, but the SPCA offers the same service for $65.00 Canadian and additional costs are minimal in comparison to vet clinics. Even spending the dollars to get to their three locations in Barrie, Newmarket and St. Catharines is still less than half of driving a few miles or even thirty miles to nearby vet clinics.

It is ironic too, that many of the people who often need cats and dogs the most, are often those with little else in their lives, including money, but their cats and dogs.

I am writing this entry because of what I experienced in the past year and a half since I rescued an alley cat that found its way into my life one autumn night one and a half years ago when the seven-month old calico tomcat stood on his hind legs and reached up to me when I entered the basement of a place I was employed.

With a tiny thirteen-year old female cat at home, I was reluctant to take the alley cat home, but there he was. No one else wanted him, shelters were full and he was begging for a home. At the same time, most of my free time was consumed with my Dad’s care, as was my income, that was not fully supporting me and my Dad’s needs, so I did not have the money to have the tomcat fixed right away. But then, because he was not fixed, one horrific tom fight a few months later drove me to rush him into the vet clinic for an emergency appointment. A $300 invoice later with a quote for several hundred dollars more to be spent to neuter him, the escalating costs of being available for my Dad as well as the incredibly high hydro bills of this area, plus having to quit two jobs to be accessible for emergency care for my Dad has made it impossible for me to yet have the now two-year old tom neutered with the local high prices.

One day that will change and my tomcat will be a tom only in his dreams. It has been suggested I add his body to the pile of cats to be euthanized since no one else came forward to give him a home in response to my ads. It has been suggested, quietly and almost silently, that I set him free once again, since after all that is how he spent the first several months of his life. Even when I talk of how his companionship fills a void, how he loves to be near me, how he, along with my other furry friend, make me laugh and keep me company, there is talk of what a problem he is because he wants to be outside tomcatting.

But interestingly enough, no one from this area told me in the past year and a half when I had the resources and vehicle to take him to be neutered at the SPCA that the SPCA even offered this service for such a low-cost in comparison to local fees. So I am also writing this for all the cat and dog lovers in this area to inform them there is an alternative to adding yet another cat or dog to the feral cat and dog population or to the euthanized pile of bodies … with the request that when someone rescues an animal, adopts a new furry friend, tell them they have choices if financing the surgery may be too costly for them here. In fact, take one step further animal lover and drive the animal and its owner to one of the SPCA locations yourself. You will feel good about your good deed and you will prevent more cat and dog bodies from being abandoned, neglected, abused or killed because they are considered disposable because of our low RESPECT LEVEL for their lives.

March 15, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER … CREATIVE WRITER, ADVOCATE, and PROJECT SPECIALIST responsible for the creation of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.