ASS/U/ME … Why the Word and Action Got Such a Bad Name

Over 7 billion people live on the earth … and each one is a unique blend of gifts, talents, and abilities that are shaped by their experiences and that turn into the beliefs … conscious ones or subconscious ones.

Assumptions are our thoughts about something or someone … they are something taken for granted … something assumed, but not proven. (Oxford Paperback Dictionary).

Even with the definition alone, is to easy to comprehend how assumptions can get us and our relationships into a lot of trouble through misunderstanding and our perspectives.

Now, multiply that scenario by 7 billion people and it becomes even easier to see why the action of “assuming” often results in making an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”

Narrowing down the 7 million to 16 personality types, such as the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) that is based on Carl Jung’s work, plus their experiences and beliefs is still a major challenge to contend with in trying to have respectful, peaceful, and supportive relationships.

To further narrow down perspective, Paul and Barbara-Barron Tieger’s research revealed that the majority of the US population is dominated by the “E”xtrovert personality type that thrives on a high level of interaction with others like themselves. The other smaller portion of the population is an “I”ntroverted type whose brain requires regular quiet and solitude to manage their high internally-stimulated brains.

As you can deduce, all these, and many other complications can make for very difficult relationships when we take for granted that people experience the world in the same way we do, that people think about the world in the same way we do, and react in the same way … assuming without proving their assumptions.

For example, in my family, as with many other families, I am the one more different than the majority. Depending on who you talk to in a family, some are called “black sheep” with the connotation that the others are white and therefore good, some are called odd ducks, weird, crazy … and well, you get the picture.

It doesn’t matter what personality type the majority are, what matters to “the pack” is that the one outside “the pack” is seen as different … and differences, in packs with low “Respect Levels” … be they families or any collection of people brought together in some way … are not only seen as different, they are deemed problematic … even dangerous.

Teasing, tormenting, shunning, ostracizing, and casting out the different one is usually the first step, though sometimes physical harm is also used as a way to vent fear and to try and control the one being cast to the outside.

I was a bold little child, albeit quite often alone or leading when with others. An avid learner, I was an “A” student from the getgo until the factory education model of everybody learning and being the same created havoc for me. School became less and less fun, dominated not by learning, but by the ridicule experienced for being bored in class and by not being in the major packs in the school yards. Even teachers back then did not know what to do and resorted to punitive psychological, as well as physical punishments.

With the lack of understanding by the masses of personality types and low “Respect Levels” for those more different from the majority, the teasing, tormenting, shunning, ostracizing, and casting out continue and for some with more drastic consequences … such as the loss of their life … by their own or a “pack’s” hands.

Extroverts are quick to point their fingers at “loners” as threats, but the ignorance and lack of acceptance of differences between Extroverts and Introverts fuels the erroneous assumption that all loners … Introverts … are dangerous … demonstrating the truth they are taking something … someone for granted … without proof … that’s what beliefs on ignorance and untruths do.

The interesting contrary thing is that though there are some loners, often broken by the societal rejection, who then set out to harm others … more loners … Introverts … especially broken ones … often become easy targets and prey for both Introverts … and Extroverts.

To stay safe, Introverts will even transform themselves enough to be accepted into the pack, but unfortunately, with this transformation, they often give up too much of their true selves and a price will have to be paid by them at some point … for me, it was a fierce internal boil of anger at others for not being acceptable, for forcing me to be what they wanted by their mind games, and my own anger at myself for giving in and giving up on myself … all of which I mostly displayed with sarcasm, a cutting tongue and wit … a constant stream of intense negative energy and the need to be better … perfect even … all of which was so far removed from the tender-hearted compassionate soul broken by so much cruelty at a young age.

Extroverts dominate our world, creating a lot of noise and busyness for them to thrive … and Introverts are often just trying to live in the peace and quiet they need to thrive … and sometimes, both even meet in the middle … and we can do so more successfully to create a better world … if we stop assuming one is better than the other … one is more right … one is more … whatever.

Extroverted activity makes things happen, but it is Introverted creation that give the Extroverts much of what they need to keep the world moving forward.

When we learn and accept this knowledge instead of making assumptions based on our own limited experiences and knowledge, much of the pain, frustration, bitterness, resentment, fear, prejudice, ostracization, and violence will diminish … and we will move into a new realm of co-existence not yet experienced in humanity.

And maybe one day, my siblings will see me differently, as I am learning to see them differently too … and all siblings and only children will too … and forgiveness, acceptance, peace, and respect will strengthen our relationships with each other … as it is strengthening the relationship with myself, healing the scars from years of cruel rejection and the backlash it created in me and my actions … and in so many of us. Till then, the realized benefit is how learning this is transforming me … softening my edges … replacing my pain and anger with respect and even love … the unconditional kind.

Awesome stuff is “Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE” because even if you don’t need to learn it, I certainly did … because the benefits are of the positive, life-altering kind. And then when you add God’s unconditional love that I have been studying particularly this past year … anything is indeed possible!

Thanks for dropping by one of 7 billion!

April 15, 2015


Freeing “Potential” with Education, Entertainment, and Inspiration with the global initiative and core book Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

© All rights reserved 2014.



We cannot control, especially in a rapidly developing technological world, what children or anyone of any age, will learn … this can be a good thing, especially because the knowledge people need to realize more of their potential is increasingly at their fingertips … and no longer exclusively available to the few who could afford higher-level education.

To take advantage of the wealth of knowledge available to develop our potential to our and our children’s upmost capabilities, we must accept that no matter what a school’s curriculum is, what matters most is, as it is for all of us, what we do with what we read, hear, see … and experience.

Children are learning at all times. Their brains are like sponges, soaking up everything they see, hear, feel, and experience. They absorb how you talk to them, touch them, and treat them. They absorb how you interact with others … how you talk to … and about other people. They soak up every little nuance … they develop their personal beliefs based on their observations and experiences … personal beliefs that will direct how they process the information they receive from the outside world … in school, in their community, on television, and on the world wide web.

The most important knowledge children need from parents is the knowledge how to process and manage all the data and information they are bombarded with from all sources … but more importantly, the most important guide and tool children … we all need … is to know … deep in our hearts and souls … that we are valuable … worthy of respect … as is everyone else … and with the personal belief … wisdom … children … all of us … are empowered to sift through all the data, information, and knowledge so we can transform it with our personal beliefs into the gold that will enable every individual to continuously strive to learn … and as a result, to continuously, throughout one’s whole life, to develop into the person one is capable of being because of one’s natural gifts, talents, abilities … one’s personal belief that they are valuable … worthy of respect … for being the unique individual they are.

Which ultimately means parents, as well as their children, need to keep learning … to keep growing … to continuously take in new knowledge … to change … adapt … and grow … teaching their children the most valuable lesson of all … life is a journey … there will be many challenges and hurdles … many joys and victories … yet, no matter what … who they are is not based on what has the power to shape them … but what they choose to shape them.

Though a school curriculum is important, in reality, it is an increasingly smaller piece of the world that can shape a life … because there are also the teachers … how the information is presented … the school’s environment … etc. etc. etc. We cannot control all a child or anyone is going to exposed to … and nor should we … because we would stagnate as individuals … and as a global community … but what we can control is the most important.

We all need to, especially parents, focus on building a high “Respect-Level” in ourselves so children will develop the same or an even higher “Respect Level” … because then, as a result, no matter what they encounter in the outside world, we can be confident they are prepared with the best education they need to be successful in managing what the world throws at them … in a formal classroom or the classroom of life.

February 25, 2015

The RESPECT SPECIALIST & PEACEMAKER … Freeing “Potential” with Education, Entertainment, and Inspiration!

Click on the link below starting Tuesday, January 27, 2015 to DISCOVER … and SUPPORT … the INDIEGOGO crowd funding campaign for the global initiative, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

© All rights reserved 2014.

Just Smarter or Wiser? The New Legacy … Making Wisdom Available to Children

It has been said that wisdom does not necessarily always come with age simply because acquiring knowledge without applying it to our lives and letting what we learn change us means we stay the same … filled with lots of knowledge and trivia that is not translated into our making wiser choices because of wisdom developed.

In a world where many are freed to learn as much as we want because of the world wide web and the availability of an incredible abundance of information “out there,” it is easy for us to believe we are wiser, instead of just smarter. Just smarter because of the accumulation of data and knowledge we now have stored in our minds or have access to even though what we learn is not often translated into new action to generate new results… in other words we often do not connect all the dots and therefore the wisdom is not revealed.

Though we all have the potential to gather vast amounts of data and knowledge, those the most liable to misunderstand data and knowledge are not power in themselves and often use them unwisely are those who feel less than adequate … those who believe they must prove their “value” by their vast collection of data and knowledge along with the collecting of things and people.

It is the principle many education organizations unwittingly pass onto their students. This is demonstrated by the constant barrage of stories about well-educated people who use their vast collection of data and knowledge to manipulate others in their quest to gain what they desire, which is seldom wisdom.

Why? Because wisdom reflects the understanding that we are all in this life, sharing this planet and its resources together.

Like most people, I did not understand this for the longest time either. As a child, I rejected the school system because I found the experience filled with cruelty and hypocrisy, especially since I went to a Catholic School where the primary thing I remember is not the text book learning but the violence inflicted upon me for not being a model of the perfect student.

It was only on my later journey of collecting lots of data and knowledge by attending university in my mid-to-late thirties with the intent to become a psychologist and then later by my following self-directed studies did I discover things like personality types; first described by Carl Jung and later revisited and simplified by the Myers-Briggs mother daughter team who created the Myers Briggs Type Indicator and then made even more user friendly for the average person by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger. All of a sudden, I understood why my teachers and I often clashed in the classrooms … I was not a bad person or girl … I was an INTP … a very small percentage of the population who thrives, not on listening to teachers talk all day, which bored me silly because my communication and learning skill strengths are foremost experiential … reading, writing and doing and my weakest is being overloaded by the verbosity of “E’s” who dominate our world, who erroneously, by the way judge anyone not like them as less smart … even stupid.

Almost smothering myself with the wealth of data and knowledge, a new picture of the girl I had become convinced I was and the girl I really was began to reveal the falsities I had become convinced were realities.

As light bulbs flashed and flashed with every new step, with the next accumulation of the latest and greatest knowledge, I, like many people, began to believe the maxim “Knowledge is Power.”

But it isn’t. Knowledge is just a package of data put together in a comprehensive manner to make sense … until the next batch of knowledge comes along to trump the last bit of knowledge … and so the power struggle goes on and on and on … as it has since the beginning of humanity.

For years, I too stored up reams of data, knowledge and quotes falsely believing they alone provided the answer. Always adding the latest scientific discoveries meant more and more filing drawers and bookshelves filled to the point that knowing where to start to unravel it all seemed overwhelming.

Just as it must seem to children and youth these days.

The problem is the people with the most wealth of data and knowledge have become convinced that the only way to make the world a better place is to make everyone else like them. Which is why many of the solutions they present to deal with many of our world’s challenges are too complex or too competitive.

For example, during the process of securing a school’s students and staff to be the “Legacy” performers for the inaugural Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE SCHOOL PACKAGE, I visited the Blue Water District School Board’s website where I found their Character Development charter comprised of the values desired are respect, honesty, responsibility, trust, teamwork, self-discipline, commitment, caring, integrity and dependability. The similar charter I found in many Ontario school halls on posters, from Windsor to Sault Ste. Marie to Kingston, when I visited as a school performer. All of them reminded me of the mission, vision and values I saw on corporate and business walls over several years.

Whatever the words and titles, all have the same intent … to create a more harmonious environment, but alas, the other commonality is they are written by people with vast stores of data and knowledge, who are so removed from the daily existence of the world’s population and who have unfortunately, even when with the best intentions are contributing to making people feel they must know as much as they do in order for them to feel valuable and successful; I used to also.

I realized this when I wrote my first few versions of Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE. The first was too simple, the second too complex, so I began to think about the world with all of its people, many of whom cannot read or write, have never been to school, yet also those in the highest level of learning institutions and I rewrote the book in its third version. I thought about the little ones in playgrounds, in elementary and second schools, the dropouts, and all the people around the world who desperately want to learn and live better lives.

Keeping this vast audience in mind, I am grateful that the reams of data and knowledge coalesced and revealed a piece of wisdom to share. Today I often laugh and think of phrases like KISS Keep it Simple Smarty (I prefer Smarty over Stupid since putdowns are easy and reflective of a low RESPECT LEVEL) and the scientific premise of OCCAM”S RAZOR that the simplest is most often the truest and I am writing this to hopefully make you laugh because of your recognition of the simple truth and its wisdom.

Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE simply means we shift our long-held principle, The Disrespect Philosophy, that respect is something a child has to earn … to The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … the wisdom that recognizes no child should have to meet anyone’s or any groups’ standards or qualification to be valued … treated RESPECTFULLY for just being a life.

Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE by its simplicity makes the idea feasible to almost every person, regardless of their IQ.

The RESPECT SCALE shows the results and consequences of different levels of Respect. On the bottom are dictators, serial killers and on or near the top are Jesus Christ, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and everyone else is somewhere in between.

Teach a child they are valuable and they will think and act with honesty, responsibility, trust, teamwork, self-discipline, commitment, caring, integrity, dependability and a lot more, including love.

Free the children from the weight of first having to become filled and/or confused with reams of data and knowledge before they can have wisdom. Free them to learn who they are first by empowering them with one unified principle, not shaped by religion, politics, economics, social status or any such qualifier and our children will thrive as individuals … and as a global nation that humanity has not yet attained.

Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE is the intellectual, scientific and economic version because it is practical, logical and compassionate.

If you desire a Christian version, God and Jesus made it simple too … treat others as you would have them treat you.

Let us give our children a new legacy to build upon … the legacy of valuing all life and then empowering them to develop the means to reflect the new and unified philosophy beneficial to all life.

September 20, 2013

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED