ASS/U/ME … Why the Word and Action Got Such a Bad Name

Over 7 billion people live on the earth … and each one is a unique blend of gifts, talents, and abilities that are shaped by their experiences and that turn into the beliefs … conscious ones or subconscious ones.

Assumptions are our thoughts about something or someone … they are something taken for granted … something assumed, but not proven. (Oxford Paperback Dictionary).

Even with the definition alone, is to easy to comprehend how assumptions can get us and our relationships into a lot of trouble through misunderstanding and our perspectives.

Now, multiply that scenario by 7 billion people and it becomes even easier to see why the action of “assuming” often results in making an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”

Narrowing down the 7 million to 16 personality types, such as the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) that is based on Carl Jung’s work, plus their experiences and beliefs is still a major challenge to contend with in trying to have respectful, peaceful, and supportive relationships.

To further narrow down perspective, Paul and Barbara-Barron Tieger’s research revealed that the majority of the US population is dominated by the “E”xtrovert personality type that thrives on a high level of interaction with others like themselves. The other smaller portion of the population is an “I”ntroverted type whose brain requires regular quiet and solitude to manage their high internally-stimulated brains.

As you can deduce, all these, and many other complications can make for very difficult relationships when we take for granted that people experience the world in the same way we do, that people think about the world in the same way we do, and react in the same way … assuming without proving their assumptions.

For example, in my family, as with many other families, I am the one more different than the majority. Depending on who you talk to in a family, some are called “black sheep” with the connotation that the others are white and therefore good, some are called odd ducks, weird, crazy … and well, you get the picture.

It doesn’t matter what personality type the majority are, what matters to “the pack” is that the one outside “the pack” is seen as different … and differences, in packs with low “Respect Levels” … be they families or any collection of people brought together in some way … are not only seen as different, they are deemed problematic … even dangerous.

Teasing, tormenting, shunning, ostracizing, and casting out the different one is usually the first step, though sometimes physical harm is also used as a way to vent fear and to try and control the one being cast to the outside.

I was a bold little child, albeit quite often alone or leading when with others. An avid learner, I was an “A” student from the getgo until the factory education model of everybody learning and being the same created havoc for me. School became less and less fun, dominated not by learning, but by the ridicule experienced for being bored in class and by not being in the major packs in the school yards. Even teachers back then did not know what to do and resorted to punitive psychological, as well as physical punishments.

With the lack of understanding by the masses of personality types and low “Respect Levels” for those more different from the majority, the teasing, tormenting, shunning, ostracizing, and casting out continue and for some with more drastic consequences … such as the loss of their life … by their own or a “pack’s” hands.

Extroverts are quick to point their fingers at “loners” as threats, but the ignorance and lack of acceptance of differences between Extroverts and Introverts fuels the erroneous assumption that all loners … Introverts … are dangerous … demonstrating the truth they are taking something … someone for granted … without proof … that’s what beliefs on ignorance and untruths do.

The interesting contrary thing is that though there are some loners, often broken by the societal rejection, who then set out to harm others … more loners … Introverts … especially broken ones … often become easy targets and prey for both Introverts … and Extroverts.

To stay safe, Introverts will even transform themselves enough to be accepted into the pack, but unfortunately, with this transformation, they often give up too much of their true selves and a price will have to be paid by them at some point … for me, it was a fierce internal boil of anger at others for not being acceptable, for forcing me to be what they wanted by their mind games, and my own anger at myself for giving in and giving up on myself … all of which I mostly displayed with sarcasm, a cutting tongue and wit … a constant stream of intense negative energy and the need to be better … perfect even … all of which was so far removed from the tender-hearted compassionate soul broken by so much cruelty at a young age.

Extroverts dominate our world, creating a lot of noise and busyness for them to thrive … and Introverts are often just trying to live in the peace and quiet they need to thrive … and sometimes, both even meet in the middle … and we can do so more successfully to create a better world … if we stop assuming one is better than the other … one is more right … one is more … whatever.

Extroverted activity makes things happen, but it is Introverted creation that give the Extroverts much of what they need to keep the world moving forward.

When we learn and accept this knowledge instead of making assumptions based on our own limited experiences and knowledge, much of the pain, frustration, bitterness, resentment, fear, prejudice, ostracization, and violence will diminish … and we will move into a new realm of co-existence not yet experienced in humanity.

And maybe one day, my siblings will see me differently, as I am learning to see them differently too … and all siblings and only children will too … and forgiveness, acceptance, peace, and respect will strengthen our relationships with each other … as it is strengthening the relationship with myself, healing the scars from years of cruel rejection and the backlash it created in me and my actions … and in so many of us. Till then, the realized benefit is how learning this is transforming me … softening my edges … replacing my pain and anger with respect and even love … the unconditional kind.

Awesome stuff is “Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE” because even if you don’t need to learn it, I certainly did … because the benefits are of the positive, life-altering kind. And then when you add God’s unconditional love that I have been studying particularly this past year … anything is indeed possible!

Thanks for dropping by one of 7 billion!

April 15, 2015

KAITLIN A. TREPANIER

Freeing “Potential” with Education, Entertainment, and Inspiration with the global initiative and core book Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

© All rights reserved 2014.

You Don’t Know Any Kids Who Would Do Any of These Things … Right?

Based on recent true events in Kincardine, Ontario, but as I have seen and experienced, the location and events are reflective of many other towns and cities I have lived in over the years.

1. Three teenage girls walking after school one day, see an older woman with gray hair approaching. Giggling and making strange faces, they tense their bodies and form a solid wall with the obvious intent to make the lone woman walk around them. Used to such tactics after living in the city, the woman, me, walks firmly ahead without yielding. The girls stride forward till finally the shoulders of the lone woman and the teen collide briefly before each move on.

2. Three teen boys striding down a sidewalk on a steep hill, force a younger boy on his bicycle off the sidewalk and onto the road into the oncoming traffic lane, which fortunately, at that moment had no vehicles coming over the hill so the young boy was not in immediate danger.

3. A grade six boy falls off his bicycle while cycling on the sidewalk instead of on the very busy street on his way home from school. Crashing onto the asphalt of a driveway, his bare knee and hand are scraped raw and blood oozes out of his knee. The other older boy who had been riding on the road comes back to the fallen one and tells him to just ignore it and get up and get moving. The younger boy is in tears so he provides his phone number and his mother is called, but there is no answer. Balancing my own bike and the boy’s, the three of us walk along, but the older boy is tormenting the younger boy. In his torment, the older boy actually trips the younger boy by walking too close to him, so I tell him to ride on ahead. I mention something about bullying behavior and the young boy tells me the older boy is his brother. Bullies are bullies, I said, whether they are related or not. And sometimes, related bullies are even harder to deal with.

Just three short events sending out the messages “I can bully anyone I want to … because I can.”

Of course, the children and youth involved, were nobody’s we know, right? But check out the research and stories on “peer pressure” and “pack mentality” … or you could just watch the news.

September 18, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE</em> Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED