We Teach What We Need To Learn … 3 Results

To generate new results, I too had to examine the choices I was making, plus I had to delve into the whys behind my choices.

Result #1 … I realized I did not respect others or myself very much, if at all

Result #2 … Discovered how I justified my low “Respect Level” actions towards others

Result #3 … Acknowledged the inflated ego I had developed just to get through every day to compensate for my low self “Respect Level”

Then the real work of raising my “Respect Level” could finally begin so I could teach what I have learned.

March 9, 2018


Advocate Innovator Entrepreneur Founder Author Artist Speaker

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015


I discovered why I did not respect others or myself very much, if at all some times.



Putting Money in Its Place

Breaking old habits and patterns is easier when we turn our attention to those who, one, never had the problem or, two, were successful in making the positive changes we also want … including the results.

Evidenced by the results of pulling in a large amount of money in my thirties with my husband and the debt we were both left with after our divorce, revealed big changes needed to happen.

And for me they have, but in small, gradual steps.

For my ex-husband things were different. There was no problem for him getting out of debt once my poor money mindset and my new non-traditional goals were out of his life. Mind you, working for Ontario Hydro and the bequeath from his parents’ estate made his transition into liquidity much faster and painless.

After a few years on my own, plus breaking into a new field, writing, I turned to credit because I did not believe any other way was possible.


Of course, after leaving the corporate world I was later stunned by my return to the retail sector to discover how retail jobs were still minimum wage, yet were no longer full-time, and no longer offered any benefits, as much of the work was “contract” versus employee.

When the work ran out and I was let go, I was still recovering from the shock of several personal events so my thinking was not clear and I did not apply for unemployment insurance. I certainly did not know anything about social services either.

My journey to a debt-free life began a few years later, but only after I had to suffer the embarrassment and consequences when I filed for bankruptcy because I could not envision how I was going to be able to pay back the creditors and live, without going crazy from the hounding calls from creditors in the meantime.

I did believe one day I would repay the debt but I needed time to live peacefully, while I developed new money management skills, found work, did the personal work I needed to do, which was a lot for several good reasons, and developed new professional skills. (For a full account of how and why, my ebook, A Charmed Life, tells the full story.)

For the next fourteen years, cash, bursaries, and barter were king of my finances.

I also discovered many people believe poor people  steal, yet I also discovered how wrong that assumption is because one, I did not steal, though shopping became a hide and see game in grocery stores as I looked for the best deals for my budget and two, though some impoverished people do steal, in my personal experience, I observed more theft by middle and upper class, sometimes directly and sometimes not, but that is another story, as is the story about how the impoverished are taken advantage of by those not impoverished.

Thinking debt would not be in my future again, I was not prepared for the scenario of having to move back to the community I left in my thirties to help my dad in his last years.

The first year and a half was promising because I secured a job and home, all within a few blocks of my dad. The part-time job paid fourteen dollars an hour, but the cost of living in an Ontario Hydro community, plus the money needed to help dad out before he was forced out of his home by health needs was not met by my income. Once again I had to turn to credit.

Not knowing what was going to happen when dad had to be moved to long-term care, I thought going into debt would be resolved quickly, but suddenly I could no longer work having to be on call 24 hours. A move into my brother’s basement housed me and the hounding creditor phone calls began.

By 2015, Dad finally passed away. A year later, I was finally well enough again to move away. And a year after that I turned to money management experts to help me move forward financially.

A MSN money expert provided this budget outline …

60% for taxes, home costs, living costs, vehicles, etc.

10% to debt

10% to short-term savings

10% to long-term savings

10% to pleasure

I liked the simple guideline, though as a Christian, there was one modification I had to make … reducing 60% to 50% in order to have 10% to give away.

Because my experience with creditors showed they believed they should have all the money I receive, I understood why they handed off their outstanding debts to some of the worst bullies and abusers I have encountered … and I have encountered quite a few in my lifetime … in order to keep their hands clean.

For this reason, I also appreciated what I have learned about money management … that in order for me to pay back all of my debts (the first bankruptcy also), I need, like all people, to be able to pay for a home to live and rest in, as well as, to stay healthy and thrive in order to be a contributing versus a draining member of society.

My experiences with lenders, especially a surprising few high-profile ones, have turned me off ever going into debt again, which, as time will show, will be to their loss because one day I know I will be restored and they will never see me walk through their doors to buy any of their other services.

I also think it’s time for lenders to wake up and develop higher “Respect Levels” business practices in order to balance out their capitalistic endeavors with compassion because, whether they know it or not, when some lose, we all lose.

Whatever your current money management style, I hope you too develop a high enough “Respect Level” to keep what you need and to give to those in need … because we never know if we, or a loved one, will one day be the one in need m… because, believe it or not, we win when everyone else wins too.

December 27, 2017


Founder President Author Speaker Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015












If Our Beliefs Don’t Provide …

If our beliefs don’t provide us with a joyful, satisfying life, that is often the indicator it is time to reconsider our beliefs.

Worked for me.

A growing “Respect Level” for myself, as well as, others, prompted me to re-examine what I believe, my thoughts, and my actions. Discarding limiting, negative, and even other people’s beliefs made room for me to choose how I want to live, and, as a result, raised my  quality of life to the point that fear, worry, and negativity no longer control my life … I do.

Wishing the same for you … one of the best gifts you will ever receive.


Founder President Author Speaker Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

December 23, 2017




A principle is defined as a universal truth … a foundation to build upon.

Respect as a principle is a global initiative delivering the good news every person … every life is valuable.

How we treat what is valuable reflects our “Respect Level” for ourselves, others, and life.

And to co-create a better world, we simply need to raise our “Respect Level.”

Learn more in the upcoming ebook, Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle … The Why, The How, and The Benefits releasing January 1st 2018!


Founder President Author Speaker Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015

December 18, 2017



Our Philosophy … What We Say and Do

If what we believe is our philosophy and our philosophy is what we say and do, then I am very grateful my philosophy … my way of being in the world … has so radically changed from pessimism, negativity, and fear to optimism, positivity, and trust that regardless of what is going on around us, we can stand strong in the storms to calmly navigate for our best life.
My changes came from studying many perspectives, then examining my beliefs in relation to those perspectives, and then adjusting mine to get the results I want, the most important being how I experience the world regardless of outward surroundings and circumstances.
You may also find that an increased “Respect Level” will aid you in your quest to be happy in your life too because it is easy to be happy when everything is smooth sailing and going our way … but we all know life is not like that. Storms come, as do the calm waters, so the only thing we can truly do is best prepare ourselves for the extremes.
Happy studying!

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Founder & President

Connecting the Dots … with The Respect Principle

http://www.therespectprinciple.com ©All Rights Reserved

August 21, 2016


A Goal for 2016 … Bringing Our Differences to the Table

What I really appreciate now and wanted most of my life, are conversations and dialogues, on social media, on the phone, and in person that enable us to bring our differences to the table so we get to know each other, to learn about and from each others’ perspectives, while still being able to value … respect … and yes, love each other. Glad to have discovered life is more good than bad … and that the bad can be turned to good. Sweet!

Best wishes for a compassionate, peaceful and joyful New Year!

December 31, 2015

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER … The Respect Specialist. Humanitarian. Social Entrepreneur. Speaker. Author. Poet. Playwright. Director. Publisher.

My company serves as a catalyst to transform “Respect from a value to a principle” as a means to overcome prejudice and its impact, while fostering peace through the creation, publishing, and production of books, products, and services that educate, entertain, and inspire.

Currently a sole proprietorship under my own name, the company name will be changing to reflect its goal and purpose in the new year, plus will be transforming into a partnership and a for-profit social enterprise as the best-fit opportunities arise.

“Respect … because all life is valuable and respect is the way back into love.”

“Connecting the Dots … with The Respect Principle” http://www.therespectprinciple.com

© All Rights Reserved 2015


Connecting the Dots Column … High “Respect Level” Dating and Relationships

Preventing and stopping imbalanced, abusive, violent … disrespectful dating and relationships starts with us as individuals.

The single most contributing factor to anything less than high “Respect Level” dates and relationships is our lack of awareness about how our past shapes our lives.

Some of us already know that how our parents treated each other and us lays the foundation for what we will often, subconsciously, look for in relationships. It does not matter what our parenting was like … supportive, encouraging, critical, absent, neglectful, cruel, abusive or violent or like many, a combination … what matters is without recognizing our parenting experience we will often bring the same dynamics to all our other relationships.

Some parents want their children to have more than they had, but quite often the focus becomes too narrow on either the financial or on the unfulfilled dreams of the parents.

Wanting more financially in itself is not a problem, but when finances become the primary factor influencing lives, children either do not learn what is important to them or they disconnect from unique personal paths that may not seem financially sufficient for parental goals, just as when unfulfilled parents burden their children with their unrealized dreams.

A girl with a father who does not know how to treat his daughter with the respect she needs to develop strong, healthy boundaries, along with the confidence she needs to discover and develop her unique beauty, inside and out, later on searches for someone to fill those needs in her. Unfortunately, a girl, and later, the woman will continue the search, yet of course, in her search she will attract men who cannot give what she needs either and often will attract those who will exploit her needs to the point she will often accept behavior that is contrary to what she is searching for … even abusive and violent behavior.

A boy with a mother who does not know how to treat her son with the respect he needs to develop strong, healthy boundaries, along with the confidence he needs to develop healthy, balanced relationships with the opposite sex will often become needy and angry, sometimes in subtle ways such as the need to control women, using putdowns and sarcasm, as well as financial manipulation, yet also insecurities that feed irrational jealousy, neglect, abuse, and violence.

Regardless of the different historical scenarios, circumstances, and experiences, our present reveals what shaped us … that is unless we become aware of the influences and conditioning and consciously develop beyond them for us to be become more than our historical experiences.

Even the most loving parents with the best intentions may not be able to meet the needs of a child, especially one very different from either one of them, yet parents who have done the personal work of understanding their own history and its impact, will, as a result, consciously adopt new ways of being that create better choices for themselves and for their children, empowering parents and children to navigate and support the development of the unique qualities of the child.

How we develop healthy, respectful relationships … personal and professional … starts with parents and if a healthy relationship with one’s self has not happened, which is more the norm than not, then it is up to us as youths and adults to learn about the dynamics of the relationships that shaped many of our conscious and unconscious beliefs in order to grow beyond our history … not just to be parents, but also to be healthy, contributing global citizens … because we never know how our words or actions are going to impact someone in our daily lives.

I had a lot to learn to develop the “Respect Level” that is generating healthier boundaries in my personal and professional relationships. To help me reinvent my dating expectations and habits, I recently discovered the great little book by Greg Behrendt, author of “He’s Just Not That Into You.” “It’s Just a F***ing Date” with his new personal and professional partner, Amiira Ruotola is a funny, fresh, yet wise book I needed to teach me how to make the better … best choices myself … even though one of the choices I had to make was being alone until the knowledge gained empowered me to make the changes I needed to make in me and what different qualities to look for in the others beyond my historical conditioning.

Whether you fit into the “Been there, done that” and are skittish about delving back into the world of dating and serious relationships or are just starting out, gaining the knowledge first about ourselves will serves us well in attracting the dates, mates, and work environments best suited to who we really are and relationships that are mutually supportive.

800 words

November 13, 2015

Connecting the Dots Column … High “RESPECT LEVEL” Dating and Relationships

KAITLIN ANN TREPANIER … The Respect Specialist. Humanitarian. Social Entrepreneur. Speaker. Author. Poet. Playwright. Director. Publisher … Freeing potential and generating peace through education, entertainment and inspiration. © All rights reserved 2015

NEWSFLASH! EBooks now available https://www.smashwords.com and other favorite EBook retailers. Earn 11% as Smashwords Affiliate Marketer! Plus, the search for both a Business Manager and Partner(s) for the Respect-Building Youth Initiative, “Charles’ Choice” are on!