Like respect, love can have many levels … from love that is not love at all, but is all about control, manipulation, and ownership to the other extreme of rarity … unconditional love.
Someone may care for someone, but not know what “to love” or “to respect” feels and looks like … depending on their experience of love … respect … that is until they discover whether through experience, time, therapy, and/or study what love … respect can be … not just between two people, but in also in families and communities.
I did not know for most of my life what love could really be. Experiences taught me love was conditional … as was being respected … valued … and that receiving love and respect was conditional upon choices, behavior, looks, and a list of other qualifiers other people decided were the qualifiers.
I did my best to love but, in retrospect, I loved and respected with the level of love and respect I observed and experienced until I knew better … from studying love stories, relationship guidance, and from examining my conditioned thoughts and feelings about love and respect.
A new understanding and“Respect Level” developed first in me, because like many of us who like to “reason” the concept was logical, practical, and even compassionate … something my mind could grasp while my heart and mind struggled to separate my previous experience of “love” in order to change my perspective on love, including how to be a better partner in a marriage … to truly love unconditionally till death does one part … such as in my favourite modern love story, The Notebook.
Once in my life I ran smack into love, yet it was so different from what I had experienced before that I didn’t really know it for what it truly was and it scared … no, terrified me. As a result, I screwed it up out of fear, ignorance, and a low “Respect Level” for myself, him, and everyone else involved.
Listening to and observing many people, it is evident many struggle the way I once did trying to love without examining their “models of love” they carry in their hearts and minds … which is why, I gather, I felt compelled to sit down and write this for those who are feeling there is not enough respect or love in their lives … especially on this eve and the day of the “most romantic” day of the year.
Unconditional love is the grandest gift … to give and receive … however, I suggest ramping up the odds by ramping up your “Respect Level” for yourself and therefore for others … and you will open the door to the kind of love you desire … and you will know it is unconditional love because for the first time you will be accepted completely for who you are … and you will accept someone else in the same way. Worked for me because one day I know I will experience the “Love Level” I have been preparing to give … and receive.
Will I ever experience that love I briefly glimpsed with the same person? My romantic heart hopes so, but I don’t know … it takes two … however I do know this … when unconditional love arrives this time I am prepared.
This is best Valentine’s gift I have to give … I hope it is yours too.
Love and best wishes for an unconditional love-filled day, year, and life!
February 14, 2015
KAITLIN A. TREPANIER
The RESPECT SPECIALIST & PEACEMAKER … Freeing “Potential” with Education, Entertainment, and Inspiration!
Click on the link below starting Tuesday, January 27, 2015 to DISCOVER … and SUPPORT … the INDIEGOGO crowd funding campaign for the global initiative, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.
© All rights reserved 2014.