RESPECT … The Way Back Into Love


Experts share what you may want to know about love and relationships … read their perspectives by clicking the link below …

And stay tuned for an additional perspective this spring in the new book, RESPECT … The Way Back Into Love, by Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle founder and author, Kaitlin Ann Trepanier.

Pre-order and release details to follow.

RESPECT ... The Way Back Into Love

February 14, 2018


Founder President Author Speaker Artist

Connecting The Dots With The Respect Principle

©All Rights Reserved 2015



Respect … The Way Back Into Love


When we fall in love, we think our love is unconditional, but most of us discover over time that our love is really more conditional. We have expectations. We have deal-breakers. We have limitations. We discover we are willing to not accept a person totally with all their flaws … which we all have.

Now, as someone who has not made wise choices in the past because of my low Respect Level for myself and for others manifested by  my own experiences, plus shaped and influenced by others experiences and subsequent beliefs,  I now know better. And as Maya Angelou and Oprah used to say, “When we know better, we do better.”

Well, sometimes we do and sometimes we don’t, but at least we become empowered to make different choices when we learn, though sometimes is just a matter of time.

Personally, making different choices that are respectful … demonstrating a higher level of respect and valuation of ourselves and others … has taught me that respect truly is the way back into love … though not just the conditional kind of love most people experience, but the rare gem of unconditional love. The kind of love that empowers us to accept someone completely by acts of love … peace, forgiveness, kindness, acceptance, tolerance, and so much more than most of us are used to experiencing in this world.

Unconditional love is not about us all having to be the same … is not about judging and condemning others … but is about learning to live and let live without malice and inflicting harm. It is about learning to live peacefully with each other, resolving conflicts, and not creating conflict for the sake of creating conflict.

As a result of the Berlin attack the other day, I heard someone say on the radio there is no honour in peace. Now I don’t know where such a belief came from or whom made the statement, but what I do know is making and keeping peace is far more difficult than stirring up prejudice, hate, and violence. As a matter of fact, as the news reveals every day, in this world, it is easy to be negative, selfish, and hateful … to seek to harm one’s self and others.

Of course, there are the majority who may not be inflicting horrors on others, yet their apathy is another form of disrespect … the devaluation of other people … which further supports the notion that conditional love is love.


Raising people’s Respect Levels for their and other people’s lives is key not just to peace, but also key to supporting humanity’s evolution and growth beyond what humanity has yet achieved  … a return to love … the unconditional kind of love that respect leads us all back to when we embrace love and instead of hate.

Some people will say such love is a goal, a vision, a dream, an ideal … even unrealistic … isn’t love worth striving towards every day of our lives … because without love what really would be the point of living? Not a world or life I want to live. You?

Respect … the way back into love.

December 21, 2016


Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Founder/President of Connecting the Dots … with The Respect Principle … the for-profit social business venture raising Respect Levels with original entertaining, educational, and inspirational books, products, and services  ©All Rights Reserved 2016

Canada’s Multiculturism Day and Connecting the Dots … with The Respect Principle

Hooray! Today Canada celebrates the diversity of our country created by the immigration of people from around the world!

Many people have forgotten this because as far back as they may recall, their family has always lived in Canada, yet our national and family histories reveal WE ALL came from other countries, and in fact, some of us come from countries who did a lot of invading and conquering, which meant inflicting a lot of mass destruction.

So, the valuable lesson for ALL of US is developing respectful ways to get along no matter where we live … in the same manner we ask children to get along with others  … regardless of our personal religious, political, social, etc. beliefs.


For our own peace of mind that will keep us rational AND compassionate.

And so we can show, not just tell the children, how to co-create a better world.

Connecting the Dots … with The Respect Principle … will make it so because the concept is logical, practical, and compassionate, which gives it the ability and power to overcome ALL prejudice.

Now we just need to decide to act with the wisdom … plus encourage and empower others to do the same.

Respect … the way back into love.

Kaitlin Ann Trepanier … Administration, Communications, Project Professional and Respect Specialist ©All Rights Reserved

June 27, 2016



Love … Choice #1 Falling In and Failing In … or Choice #2 Best Practices for Success!

After years of observations as a counselor, Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 Love Languages” not only presents the concept there are primarily 5 love languages and how one or two usually dominate what we believe love should look like in actions, he also presents in Chapter 3 his observations about the whole “falling in love” process and then the choosing “to love” after the obsessive high of falling in love wears off.

Terrific learning tool, not only for the young eager to experience the “love rush”, but perhaps even more importantly now for those who have “fallen in love’ and without this knowledge, have suffered the loss of relationships, even repeatedly, that did not have to be lost.

My work, “Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE” complements Gary’s work because it goes one step further by saying that if we first discover who we truly are, plus learn to value … respect who we are and our unique blend of gifts, talents, and abilities, we will fall in love first with who we are. As a result, we will build in us the capacity to love unconditionally first ourselves, and as a result, other people … whether they are those we “fall in love” with or those in our lives, such as our birth families, whom we have to live and grow with … and who ultimately will shape our way of relating to other people, whether we are in love with them or not.

Both concepts reveal love does not have to end when the high of falling in love dissipates. On the contrary, the choice to love that comes after the obsessive beginning is what we all truly want … to be valued … respected … loved for who we really are. I know it is the truth for me.

If you have ever been confused about love, here are two simple, small books, that will empower you to experience not only the rush of falling in love, but also the joy from loving by choice.

Gary’s book has been around for years and the ebook version of mine will be available 9/11/2015 though soon you will be able to pre-order your copy.

Here’s another chance to choose love instead of loss. Choose the best practices for success with love!

September 3, 2015

Raising the standard of living, quality of life, freeing potential, and generating peace with education, entertainment, and inspiration … because every child, every person, should know, by their own experience, they are valued … respected. Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE.

by Kaitlin A. Trepanier Humanitarian. Social Entrepreneur. Creative.

NEWSFLASH! Joining the 3 Little Jack series Ebooks on and on your other favorite EBook retailers … Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Kindle, etc. is the adult novel and backstory, DARK HORSES … A Cautionary Tale. Also available for libraries.

FUTURE RELEASE NEWSFLASH! Next arrival on, the Ebook version of “Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE.”

WATCH for coupon specials also!

Kaitlin’s Smashwords interview

© All rights reserved 2014

Been a Long Time … But Now It is Time to Present to You …

I just assigned 11 ISBN numbers through the Canada and Library Archives system for the books I have written over the years and am now publishing through “” in the next month.

Oh my … I’m just so excited and thrilled that the funny cast of “Little Jack” will finally tickle so many child-in-us-all readers, that the powerful drama and tragedies of “Dark Horses” will take readers on an unusual ride, that the poetry books, “Respect … The Way Back into Love” and “Dark Horses … The Poems” will reach into hearts and minds in a different way, that “Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE” will be accessible to the many as will the complementary school and community play, “Charles’ Choice” that introduces the “Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE” concept to schools in communities of all sizes around the world.

Thank you Mark Coker for your brilliance in creating “” and to everyone!

Twenty years later and now both the older and the newer writings will finally come out of the storage bins and closets into the hearts and minds of readers all around the world!


Don’t give up on who you really are and your dreams … it’s worth the wait … as are you!

August 17, 2015

Kaitlin A. Trepanier … Humanitarian … Social Entrepreneur … Creative

Transforming respect, freeing potential, and generating peace with education, entertainment, and inspiration with the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE’s fundraising campaign, plus other books, products, and services … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … respected.

Read my e-books soon on Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Kindle, Amazon, plus through many other stores to meet Little Jack, the Charles’ Choice and Dark Horses cast of characters, to soak up some poetry, and/or discover what you can do to raise “Respect Levels” in your circles!

Details available at PLUS a direct link coming soon! © All rights reserved 2014


Like respect, love can have many levels … from love that is not love at all, but is all about control, manipulation, and ownership to the other extreme of rarity … unconditional love.

Someone may care for someone, but not know what “to love” or “to respect” feels and looks like … depending on their experience of love … respect … that is until they discover whether through experience, time, therapy, and/or study what love … respect can be … not just between two people, but in also in families and communities.

I did not know for most of my life what love could really be. Experiences taught me love was conditional … as was being respected … valued … and that receiving love and respect was conditional upon choices, behavior, looks, and a list of other qualifiers other people decided were the qualifiers.

I did my best to love but, in retrospect, I loved and respected with the level of love and respect I observed and experienced until I knew better … from studying love stories, relationship guidance, and from examining my conditioned thoughts and feelings about love and respect.

A new understanding and“Respect Level” developed first in me, because like many of us who like to “reason” the concept was logical, practical, and even compassionate … something my mind could grasp while my heart and mind struggled to separate my previous experience of “love” in order to change my perspective on love, including how to be a better partner in a marriage … to truly love unconditionally till death does one part … such as in my favourite modern love story, The Notebook.

Once in my life I ran smack into love, yet it was so different from what I had experienced before that I didn’t really know it for what it truly was and it scared … no, terrified me. As a result, I screwed it up out of fear, ignorance, and a low “Respect Level” for myself, him, and everyone else involved.

Listening to and observing many people, it is evident many struggle the way I once did trying to love without examining their “models of love” they carry in their hearts and minds … which is why, I gather, I felt compelled to sit down and write this for those who are feeling there is not enough respect or love in their lives … especially on this eve and the day of the “most romantic” day of the year.

Unconditional love is the grandest gift … to give and receive … however, I suggest ramping up the odds by ramping up your “Respect Level” for yourself and therefore for others … and you will open the door to the kind of love you desire … and you will know it is unconditional love because for the first time you will be accepted completely for who you are … and you will accept someone else in the same way. Worked for me because one day I know I will experience the “Love Level” I have been preparing to give … and receive.

Will I ever experience that love I briefly glimpsed with the same person? My romantic heart hopes so, but I don’t know … it takes two … however I do know this … when unconditional love arrives this time I am prepared.

This is best Valentine’s gift I have to give … I hope it is yours too.

Love and best wishes for an unconditional love-filled day, year, and life!

February 14, 2015

The RESPECT SPECIALIST & PEACEMAKER … Freeing “Potential” with Education, Entertainment, and Inspiration!

Click on the link below starting Tuesday, January 27, 2015 to DISCOVER … and SUPPORT … the INDIEGOGO crowd funding campaign for the global initiative, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLEbecause every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

© All rights reserved 2014.

Cats and dogs … the cost paid for our love … huge vet bills or neglect, abuse and euthanization

The facts and the story … we can do better!

According to statistics from the Ontario SPCA and other animal protection groups and service providers, thousands of cats and dogs are killed on purpose each year in shelters because of their sheer volume.

A volume created by cats and dogs not being spayed and neutered so they cannot have more unwanted babies that grow into the cats and dogs that have to be euthanized.

But kittens and puppies are cute. Many people want the cute babies … but not so much when they find out the commitment they need, the care, cost and training they need and of course, that cats and dogs, like people, lose their baby cuteness and the behavior and antics that once seemed cute and endearing are troublesome and are desired gone … and if they do not disappear as their owners wish, many of the cats and dogs are forced to disappear by being released in the country, dropped off at shelters, neglected, abused and even killed by their adoptive parent(s) or strangers.

Then there is the disparity between what veterinary clinics charge for spaying/neutering and what places like the SPCA charge. Vet clinic prices ranges start around $400.00, though locally, the total charge is even higher once all the other costs are added, but the SPCA offers the same service for $65.00 Canadian and additional costs are minimal in comparison to vet clinics. Even spending the dollars to get to their three locations in Barrie, Newmarket and St. Catharines is still less than half of driving a few miles or even thirty miles to nearby vet clinics.

It is ironic too, that many of the people who often need cats and dogs the most, are often those with little else in their lives, including money, but their cats and dogs.

I am writing this entry because of what I experienced in the past year and a half since I rescued an alley cat that found its way into my life one autumn night one and a half years ago when the seven-month old calico tomcat stood on his hind legs and reached up to me when I entered the basement of a place I was employed.

With a tiny thirteen-year old female cat at home, I was reluctant to take the alley cat home, but there he was. No one else wanted him, shelters were full and he was begging for a home. At the same time, most of my free time was consumed with my Dad’s care, as was my income, that was not fully supporting me and my Dad’s needs, so I did not have the money to have the tomcat fixed right away. But then, because he was not fixed, one horrific tom fight a few months later drove me to rush him into the vet clinic for an emergency appointment. A $300 invoice later with a quote for several hundred dollars more to be spent to neuter him, the escalating costs of being available for my Dad as well as the incredibly high hydro bills of this area, plus having to quit two jobs to be accessible for emergency care for my Dad has made it impossible for me to yet have the now two-year old tom neutered with the local high prices.

One day that will change and my tomcat will be a tom only in his dreams. It has been suggested I add his body to the pile of cats to be euthanized since no one else came forward to give him a home in response to my ads. It has been suggested, quietly and almost silently, that I set him free once again, since after all that is how he spent the first several months of his life. Even when I talk of how his companionship fills a void, how he loves to be near me, how he, along with my other furry friend, make me laugh and keep me company, there is talk of what a problem he is because he wants to be outside tomcatting.

But interestingly enough, no one from this area told me in the past year and a half when I had the resources and vehicle to take him to be neutered at the SPCA that the SPCA even offered this service for such a low-cost in comparison to local fees. So I am also writing this for all the cat and dog lovers in this area to inform them there is an alternative to adding yet another cat or dog to the feral cat and dog population or to the euthanized pile of bodies … with the request that when someone rescues an animal, adopts a new furry friend, tell them they have choices if financing the surgery may be too costly for them here. In fact, take one step further animal lover and drive the animal and its owner to one of the SPCA locations yourself. You will feel good about your good deed and you will prevent more cat and dog bodies from being abandoned, neglected, abused or killed because they are considered disposable because of our low RESPECT LEVEL for their lives.

March 15, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER … CREATIVE WRITER, ADVOCATE, and PROJECT SPECIALIST responsible for the creation of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.