Connecting “Competition” … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE

What does competition mean to you? Does it mean succeeding at all costs? Does it mean feeling bad about one’s self when one doesn’t win? Does it mean a constant comparison to other people? Does it mean strained relationships because you are trying to just be who you really are and other people are still caught up in competing with you because they do not yet believe in the value of themselves as they really are?

Based on the Connecting the Dots … with the RESPECT PRINCIPLE, our definition of competition and one’s success will be based on our internalized RESPECT LEVEL.

Before proceeding, let’s keep in mind that most of what drives our unconscious or subconscious thoughts and actions is a deep, negative, global conditioning I call the Disrespect Philosophy … the core belief that no one is worthy or entitled to be valued … respected … without some qualifier … without someone’s or some stamp of approval by some group … and this is the root of unhealthy competition.

Unhealthy competition is a drive that compels us to constantly compare ourselves to others. When people do not reflect us and our beliefs, we judge them to be above or below us. If above, we try to be something we are not … something that does not feel natural to us nor does it make us feel good about ourselves and since we will not measure up, we will seek ways, mostly in our minds, but some people act out their thoughts and feelings, to knock our “competitor” down to our own level … or below. If we judge someone as below us, we ignore them completely or treat them as less valuable or worse.

People with a high RESPECT LEVEL know competition between ourselves and others does not really exist because the only person we can truly compete with is our self. We know we are unique individuals and our only real challenge is discovering, expressing and refining our unique qualities, gifts, talents … strengths. Sometimes that translates into our winning a prize or special recognition or being selected for a job, etc., but often mostly translates into how we choose to live our daily lives.

With a high RESPECT LEVEL, competition is not seen as a drive to be better than another, but about being the best we can be, about doing the best we can … and letting the results not be viewed as failure, but just as an experience … an experience we can appreciate, learn from or let go of in order to move forward.

There really are no losers or winners if we are all doing our best to be who we really are underneath all the external expectations. We were created as beautiful, unique beings, with our own unique gifts, talents and abilities to discover, develop and share. Do this one thing and we win every day of our lives … and so does the world we share with the rest of the beautiful, unique beings who need to be taught how not to be carbon copies of others, but to be who they really are too.

A high RESPECT LEVEL a win win for us all

February 3, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Getting YOU the RESPECT YOU Want … Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

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Every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

This is the driving force behind the global initiative, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE.

If you believe this to be true, please help … Contribute or Sponsor by visiting http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com and select The RESPECT PRINCIPLE tab for information about how to give. Book a speaking engagement or school presentation package. Order book(s) for your self, parent group, organization, school, and community.

All those who want your RESPECT (to be valued by you) thank you!

Sincerely,
Kaitlin A. Trepanier

September 23, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist <em>… because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED

Offense: Bullying … A School’s Definition Still Rings True Beyond Our School Years

Offense: Bullying
Explanation: While bullying can involve a single, severe behavior, bullying is usually defined as repeated negative behaviors intended to frighten or cause harm that may include, but are not limited to verbal, written, or electronic (virtual) threats or physical harm. Examples of bullying include, but are not limited to:
1. physical intimidation, taunting, name calling, and insults;
2. comments regarding the race, gender, religion, physical abilities, or characteristics of a person or his associates, and
3. false statements about other persons.

While researching a high school as a potential candidate for the inaugural Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE SCHOOL PRESENTATION PACKAGE, consisting of The Talk, The Play and The Book Event, when I was reviewing the Chesapeake, Virginia’s Guide for Parents and Students, I copied their definition of Offense: Bullying and pasted it here, because it struck me how the definition reflects “Bullying” behavior found in all kinds of places: at home, at work and in our communities-at-large, demonstrating repeatedly, that even though such behavior may be held in check while in school because of the possible remedial consequences, once removed from the custodial threats of the school system, young adults turn into adults who carry on the offense: bullying, often without really being aware that the same definition still applies … though the consequences to the bully and bullied that go unchecked continue to reinforce negative attitudes and behavior that will ultimately cost us in either health, social and correctional care and for some death because of the unrecognized damage and its cumulative toll.

Bullying is bullying no matter age a person is … and it is an offense, whether you are in school or not, because it is a violence targeted towards another life.

September 21, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist <em>… because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED

Just Smarter or Wiser? The New Legacy … Making Wisdom Available to Children

It has been said that wisdom does not necessarily always come with age simply because acquiring knowledge without applying it to our lives and letting what we learn change us means we stay the same … filled with lots of knowledge and trivia that is not translated into our making wiser choices because of wisdom developed.

In a world where many are freed to learn as much as we want because of the world wide web and the availability of an incredible abundance of information “out there,” it is easy for us to believe we are wiser, instead of just smarter. Just smarter because of the accumulation of data and knowledge we now have stored in our minds or have access to even though what we learn is not often translated into new action to generate new results… in other words we often do not connect all the dots and therefore the wisdom is not revealed.

Though we all have the potential to gather vast amounts of data and knowledge, those the most liable to misunderstand data and knowledge are not power in themselves and often use them unwisely are those who feel less than adequate … those who believe they must prove their “value” by their vast collection of data and knowledge along with the collecting of things and people.

It is the principle many education organizations unwittingly pass onto their students. This is demonstrated by the constant barrage of stories about well-educated people who use their vast collection of data and knowledge to manipulate others in their quest to gain what they desire, which is seldom wisdom.

Why? Because wisdom reflects the understanding that we are all in this life, sharing this planet and its resources together.

Like most people, I did not understand this for the longest time either. As a child, I rejected the school system because I found the experience filled with cruelty and hypocrisy, especially since I went to a Catholic School where the primary thing I remember is not the text book learning but the violence inflicted upon me for not being a model of the perfect student.

It was only on my later journey of collecting lots of data and knowledge by attending university in my mid-to-late thirties with the intent to become a psychologist and then later by my following self-directed studies did I discover things like personality types; first described by Carl Jung and later revisited and simplified by the Myers-Briggs mother daughter team who created the Myers Briggs Type Indicator and then made even more user friendly for the average person by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger. All of a sudden, I understood why my teachers and I often clashed in the classrooms … I was not a bad person or girl … I was an INTP … a very small percentage of the population who thrives, not on listening to teachers talk all day, which bored me silly because my communication and learning skill strengths are foremost experiential … reading, writing and doing and my weakest is being overloaded by the verbosity of “E’s” who dominate our world, who erroneously, by the way judge anyone not like them as less smart … even stupid.

Almost smothering myself with the wealth of data and knowledge, a new picture of the girl I had become convinced I was and the girl I really was began to reveal the falsities I had become convinced were realities.

As light bulbs flashed and flashed with every new step, with the next accumulation of the latest and greatest knowledge, I, like many people, began to believe the maxim “Knowledge is Power.”

But it isn’t. Knowledge is just a package of data put together in a comprehensive manner to make sense … until the next batch of knowledge comes along to trump the last bit of knowledge … and so the power struggle goes on and on and on … as it has since the beginning of humanity.

For years, I too stored up reams of data, knowledge and quotes falsely believing they alone provided the answer. Always adding the latest scientific discoveries meant more and more filing drawers and bookshelves filled to the point that knowing where to start to unravel it all seemed overwhelming.

Just as it must seem to children and youth these days.

The problem is the people with the most wealth of data and knowledge have become convinced that the only way to make the world a better place is to make everyone else like them. Which is why many of the solutions they present to deal with many of our world’s challenges are too complex or too competitive.

For example, during the process of securing a school’s students and staff to be the “Legacy” performers for the inaugural Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE SCHOOL PACKAGE, I visited the Blue Water District School Board’s website where I found their Character Development charter comprised of the values desired are respect, honesty, responsibility, trust, teamwork, self-discipline, commitment, caring, integrity and dependability. The similar charter I found in many Ontario school halls on posters, from Windsor to Sault Ste. Marie to Kingston, when I visited as a school performer. All of them reminded me of the mission, vision and values I saw on corporate and business walls over several years.

Whatever the words and titles, all have the same intent … to create a more harmonious environment, but alas, the other commonality is they are written by people with vast stores of data and knowledge, who are so removed from the daily existence of the world’s population and who have unfortunately, even when with the best intentions are contributing to making people feel they must know as much as they do in order for them to feel valuable and successful; I used to also.

I realized this when I wrote my first few versions of Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE. The first was too simple, the second too complex, so I began to think about the world with all of its people, many of whom cannot read or write, have never been to school, yet also those in the highest level of learning institutions and I rewrote the book in its third version. I thought about the little ones in playgrounds, in elementary and second schools, the dropouts, and all the people around the world who desperately want to learn and live better lives.

Keeping this vast audience in mind, I am grateful that the reams of data and knowledge coalesced and revealed a piece of wisdom to share. Today I often laugh and think of phrases like KISS Keep it Simple Smarty (I prefer Smarty over Stupid since putdowns are easy and reflective of a low RESPECT LEVEL) and the scientific premise of OCCAM”S RAZOR that the simplest is most often the truest and I am writing this to hopefully make you laugh because of your recognition of the simple truth and its wisdom.

Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE simply means we shift our long-held principle, The Disrespect Philosophy, that respect is something a child has to earn … to The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … the wisdom that recognizes no child should have to meet anyone’s or any groups’ standards or qualification to be valued … treated RESPECTFULLY for just being a life.

Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE by its simplicity makes the idea feasible to almost every person, regardless of their IQ.

The RESPECT SCALE shows the results and consequences of different levels of Respect. On the bottom are dictators, serial killers and on or near the top are Jesus Christ, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and everyone else is somewhere in between.

Teach a child they are valuable and they will think and act with honesty, responsibility, trust, teamwork, self-discipline, commitment, caring, integrity, dependability and a lot more, including love.

Free the children from the weight of first having to become filled and/or confused with reams of data and knowledge before they can have wisdom. Free them to learn who they are first by empowering them with one unified principle, not shaped by religion, politics, economics, social status or any such qualifier and our children will thrive as individuals … and as a global nation that humanity has not yet attained.

Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE is the intellectual, scientific and economic version because it is practical, logical and compassionate.

If you desire a Christian version, God and Jesus made it simple too … treat others as you would have them treat you.

Let us give our children a new legacy to build upon … the legacy of valuing all life and then empowering them to develop the means to reflect the new and unified philosophy beneficial to all life.

September 20, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED

You Don’t Know Any Kids Who Would Do Any of These Things … Right?

Based on recent true events in Kincardine, Ontario, but as I have seen and experienced, the location and events are reflective of many other towns and cities I have lived in over the years.

1. Three teenage girls walking after school one day, see an older woman with gray hair approaching. Giggling and making strange faces, they tense their bodies and form a solid wall with the obvious intent to make the lone woman walk around them. Used to such tactics after living in the city, the woman, me, walks firmly ahead without yielding. The girls stride forward till finally the shoulders of the lone woman and the teen collide briefly before each move on.

2. Three teen boys striding down a sidewalk on a steep hill, force a younger boy on his bicycle off the sidewalk and onto the road into the oncoming traffic lane, which fortunately, at that moment had no vehicles coming over the hill so the young boy was not in immediate danger.

3. A grade six boy falls off his bicycle while cycling on the sidewalk instead of on the very busy street on his way home from school. Crashing onto the asphalt of a driveway, his bare knee and hand are scraped raw and blood oozes out of his knee. The other older boy who had been riding on the road comes back to the fallen one and tells him to just ignore it and get up and get moving. The younger boy is in tears so he provides his phone number and his mother is called, but there is no answer. Balancing my own bike and the boy’s, the three of us walk along, but the older boy is tormenting the younger boy. In his torment, the older boy actually trips the younger boy by walking too close to him, so I tell him to ride on ahead. I mention something about bullying behavior and the young boy tells me the older boy is his brother. Bullies are bullies, I said, whether they are related or not. And sometimes, related bullies are even harder to deal with.

Just three short events sending out the messages “I can bully anyone I want to … because I can.”

Of course, the children and youth involved, were nobody’s we know, right? But check out the research and stories on “peer pressure” and “pack mentality” … or you could just watch the news.

September 18, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE</em> Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED

Not Doing the Right Thing: The Bystanders’ Cost

Most of us have come to think of bullying in school is the only place bystanders are found, but people are bystanders any time we do not do the right thing.

Why? We are afraid … for our safety, for the financial cost, of what others will think, etc., etc., etc.

But being afraid, as I have learned and history shows, only creates more fear and more circumstances to create more fear.

One of the good things we are finally accepting we must do, is to tell our kids to stand up for those being bullied, even if that mostly means reporting bullies and not personally intervening.

But have you wondered where our kids have learned to be bystanders in the first place?

As in the past and right now in the present, our children, tweens, teens and young adults are watching us respond as they hear about or see the pictures of the children, women and men being decimated by leaders in Syria who want the country for themselves and those they approve of … just like school yard bullies do.

What we do, how we respond will teach them the lessons they will carry into the rest of their lives … it will teach them what they should do … to walk away like many did for so long with Germany and other places taken over by dictators … the bullies with big visions that started out as the small bullies in the school yard or to stand tall and say, No. You cannot do such things and get away with them.

Canada may not have the military resources to give, but we certainly have a wealth of resources and an economy that was not hit as hard as the United States and other countries, so we should be giving more than our verbal support … we should be giving our financial support too.

Believe me, years of experience has taught me that doing the right thing is seldom easy and often meets resistance … and it costs us, but not near as much as being a bystander and having to live with the knowledge we could have and should have done more. We deserve the peace of mind that comes from knowing we did the best we could … we gave what we could and even more than what was comfortable, because when we need help, and we all will at some point in our life, we will want others to help us … and for the most part, that will only come after we were the first to give to others who needed us, even if the ones we help are not the ones who end up helping us … for life is sweet that way.

But right now, today, the people in Syria who are being slaughtered by those who want control of Syria and its resources need us to send the message to the bullies that, just like the bullies in the schoolyard, their behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated … because we know the right thing to do and we can untie to draw on each other for the support we need to do the right thing. Anything less makes us just another bystander whose real character will be revealed by history.

September 7, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED

What Do a Frosh Rape Chant and Syria’s Politics Have in Common?

A low Respect Level for other life are what the St. Mary’s University Frosh Rape Chant and Syria’s politics have in common. Why? Because the people who created, promoted, and participated in the this week’s chant and those in Syria, who are reducing their country’s population by violent acts, are seeking to raise themselves above others by putting down other people through the threat of violence or the actual violence.

Across our country, the statistics reveal the Frosh Rape Chant is not just a chant … but for some people in colleges and universities, the Frosh Rape Chant is an incentive, even an approval or a justification for their violent act and for others, a consequence for being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people, manifested by a culture that approves of taking out their own low Respect Level for life on others in order to make themselves feel better or to feel above other people.

As for Syria’s leadership, as history sadly reveals, mass annihilation has been done before … has been going on since the beginning of time and we are still slow in recognizing that inaction is like it is in all bullying … bystanders’ approval … because bystanders are worried about the impact on them … their own safety, the financial cost, but by not acting on behalf of those being harmed, bystanders give their stamp of approval for the same to be afflicted upon them at some time … when they/we will need the help of others. As for Syria’s leaders, the reason is the same … they have such a low Respect Level for themselves, they erroneously believe the only way they can rise above is on the backs and bodies of others, but on the contrary, one can only rise above others when the people you lead raise you up in gratitude for your superb leadership, fuelled by your compassion and care for those you lead.

The good news is that as our individual and global awareness grows in mass understanding that what we dish out to others goes out into the world and comes back to us, often magnified upon rebound, we can help those who do not yet understand that what they do comes from feeling “less than” and the only way they will feel “equal to” is by learning to raise their own Respect Level to at least the level that they seek not to harm others and hopefully to live and thrive in peace, respecting our differences as well as our commonalities, so we can create a better world than what we have so far.

September 7, 2013
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED