Tired of Feeling Jealous, Envious, and/or Trying to Keep Up Appearances?

It is All About One’s RESPECT LEVEL

Recognizing … respecting … everyone has their own challenges, even if that challenge is wealth and good fortune, is how we overcome our own feelings of jealousy, envy, and trying to keep up with those who have more money and material things, who have the talents, abilities, jobs, the relationships, the community status, etc. we want.

But what challenge can wealth possibly bring to such people’s lives? By their very circumstances, such people attract jealousy, envy, lack of compassion, lack of privacy, lack of peace … and just look at how many famous wealthy people’s lives end in tragedy.

Of course, the other extreme is the many without enough food, medical care or education, even if they have a decent place to sleep. Jobless or with different goals than the “normal mainstream,” such people also experience jealousy, envy and the desire to keep up appearances in order to keep the harmful emotions other people’s judgment of them attracts into their life … scorn, disdain, ostracizing, etc.

And in the middle of these two extreme groups of people … the people who have more than the impoverished and therefore feel superior, but also resentful of those who do not have enough, which they believe takes away from what they have for themselves … that their lives would be easier if such people did not exist.

Yet, ironically, the wealthy feel the same way about those in the middle … who, on one hand, idolize the wealthy, are obsessed by them and their wealth, yet at the same time also are jealous, envious, and go into extreme debt in trying to keep up with appearances … to show others in the same pack they are worthy of being jealous and envious of because of what they have.

Personally, thinking about everyone with a higher Respect Level than I have most of my life, has freed me from the constant barrage of negative judgment about myself and therefore naturally about other people. My hearts goes out to all because we all have challenges to face and overcome in order to finally start thriving.

I thought my childhood was impoverished, but I have since learned that though those times were quite challenging, food was always available and in fact, was often plentiful and good. I thought my teenage years were rough with all their challenges … an early marriage turning into a nightmare after quitting high school to get married, then remarrying, returning to school, moving to the city, and securing an excellent job that paid very well and also showed me first hand what people could have and I was astounded and like many people thought, “Hey, me too. I could … should have all that too … even though I had been fortunate enough that my salary doubled after one year of school.” Instead of being happy, grateful, I stressed on and on about what I did not have and though I often would not admit it, I was often jealous and resentful, searching for many to blame for what I did not have versus being grateful for what I did have. I was angry and felt betrayed by those who had taken advantage of my low Respect Level, who previously and subsequently have paid poverty wages and treated me disrespectfully in other ways too.

Since then, I have experienced and seen real poverty … not the kind defined by not getting or having what you want but what one needs to just survive. I have been homeless a few times, however, thankfully not for long. I have had to lean on our system to help me survive while I searched for ways to adapt differently from what I had previously learned and acted upon.

Shaped by a culture that values what people have, I too have experienced the prejudice born of that conditioning and the ignorance of that conditioning that judges people on what they have and the many other tools of prejudice.

This little story is but a small sampling of what our culture, local and global, does to people because the culture is based on what I’ve named the Disrespect Philosophy … the belief, often unconscious, that no one is valuable … worthy of respect … unless such a person meets someone or some group’s arbitrary “qualifier” of wealth, status, looks, race, etc.

However, what I am discovering as I raise my own Respect Level … the valuation of myself … the more I value other people … their differences, including their financial wealth, and now I can see the extremely wealthy with a fresh perspective … I can see through their eyes as easily as I can see through the impoverished and the majority eyes … and I can say “No” to jealousy, envy, and trying to keep up the appearances other people expect so that I can better spend my time and energy in developing my potential to the best of my ability, minding my own business, and by example, inviting other people do the same … to respect one’s self at the same level one respect others.

And for those people you chose to look up to, go ahead, admire them for what they have achieved by their own merit … but not for what they have inherited or what has been given them for those things do not define who they are either … they are circumstances that come with their own challenges, including not being fearful of losing what they have gained.

Over the years, I have had much money and things and also very little, yet I have discovered on my quest to help others and our world that truly what I have externally have really does mean nothing if what I have on the inside is not valued … respected by me … because my level of respect for myself has determined the level of respect I have held for others.

Learning this has freed me from wasting valuable energy on jealousy, envy, and trying to keep up the appearances someone else has decided, consciously or not, they believe I should live up to. Undoubtedly, I assure you it is how you will also be freed.

I believe you are valuable … each and every one of you … simply for being a life. And once you believe it too, then you can begin to be and do your best … with whatever you have to work with and you will be feel good about your life no matter what is happening to and around you … that is freedom … the freedom that creates peace in your and our world.

August 2014
KAT … Kaitlin Ann Trepanier

All Rights Reserved by KAT … Kaitlin Ann Trepanier, Altruistic Entrepreneur, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Author and global initiative Developer and Distributor … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED. ©

Difficult People … or Difficult World?

We have all met them. People who just rub us the wrong way … who get our back up … who we just want to say or do something to in order to let them know we do not like them, don’t approve of them, their choices, lifestyle … whatever.

In fact, as books, television, movies and the news show us, many of us even have family members we just can’t stand … and for some people their feelings about other family members even motivate them to commit crimes, even murder.

But are people being difficult for the sake of being difficult? Are people you consider difficult really difficult … or just different? And how much different?

In Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE, my goal was to transform and provide a wealth of knowledge from the various fields of academic study and present them to our youth and to those who do not spend their time reading academic or even popular culture books.

As a result, one of the key components of the book presents the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) … a psychological profiling tool used by organizations and high-level academic institutions to help them secure the people with the personality type, along with other factors, best required for the role they need filled. Initially proposed by Carl Jung, one of the two forerunners of psychology, the other being Sigmund Freud, Jung suggested there were several personality types and then later, the team of Myers-Briggs took his work and made it more accessible as a psychological assessment tool. Later, other teams, such as consultants Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger made the psychological tool more accessible with their books Do What You Really Are and The Art of Speed Reading People.

The core of the MBTI is there are sixteen personality types, though primarily divided by two main key elements that are supported by other components. The key element defines how a person experiences the world as a result of the way their brain functions and processes information.

Introvert brains are highly stimulated internally and as a result, they require quieter, more removed from the mainstream work and living environments to thrive.

Extrovert brains have a much lower internal stimulus level and as a result, thrive when their environment, is bustling and filled with data their brains covert into knowledge.

You can read more about the MBTI in my book, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE or in the previous authors works, but for now, let’s just consider the accessible knowledge there are sixteen personality types, plus all the other influences of family, community, culture, financial status … plus what I call the Disrespect Philosophy that drives our unconscious conditioning, motivating us to think that a person should have to “earn or be awarded” respect … to be valued for just being a life.

Add religion, politics and the low RESPECT LEVELS of many people conditioned by the experience of being raised and living in a Disrespectful Philosophy-driven global culture and suddenly, it is easy to see it isn’t so much “difficult people” as it is a “difficult world.”

Difficult only though because one, we have been taught to not value others not like ourselves and two because, until now, we had not connected the dots to see each other differently from ourselves … and to accept not everyone has to be like us. Seeing “difficult” people through this new lens empowers us to positively change our thinking, our words and of course, our actions.

So what if we don’t like someone or approve of them? With our own increased awareness that boosts our own RESPECT LEVEL we learn our feelings or thoughts are not cause to hurt or harm with gossip, judgment, neglect or with physical violence. We learn we are just different and that difference is good, even great! Great because acknowledging our differences empowers us to more fully develop our differences, which is our potential, and as a result, to become more realized individuals … and citizens.

Difficult people? No. Just a difficult world shaped by the negative, limiting and harmful Disrespect Philosophy and supported by a lack of knowledge … till now.

June 4, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All rights reserved by KAITLIN A. TREPANIER/ DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS … Creative Writer, Visual Artist and The RESPECT Specialist, architect of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

You pick … Putin, Napolean, Hitler, Caesar … from the history of “takers”

Taking what is not yours shows the disrespect you have for life … others and yours.

Taking by violent force what is not yours reveals the violence in your heart.

What was done to you, is what you do … until you know better … until you finally believe that you are valuable all on your own, without what you own defining you.

All the countries, people and possessions you think you own, in fact own you because you need them to feel valued … respected in a world still unconsciously driven by the Disrespect Philosophy where we are taught none of us are valuable unless someone or some group says we are by meeting their standards, qualifications, expectations …

When you finally stand in the truth of who you are as a unique individual with a high RESPECT LEVEL, you will no longer need to possess what is not yours, but instead will take the best care of your own self … and in that way, you will serve … and as a result … receive as a gift what you desire … instead of having to steal what is not yours to have.

March 26, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER … CREATIVE WRITER, ADVOCATE, and PROJECT SPECIALIST responsible for the creation of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

Seeing past personality types, learning styles, body types and beliefs … to see and swim a new way.

We are complex creatures and not one of us is the same as another. Even identical twins have differences although not necessarily obvious to the eye.

Knowing this fact, accepting this reality, can be the compelling reason for us to consider, and put into practice, the fresh perspective that will serve us all well to see past personality types, learning styles, body types and our unique blend of beliefs is to operate on one universal principle.

Of course, the ideal is love … unconditional love, but as evidenced by our past and present, just the idea of valuing … respecting each unique person is a tall order in our global culture of Disrespect. The taller order is actually learning how to respect … to value all life in our words and actions … every day … in all our relationships, connections and interactions.

A simple example of how we struggle with this idea and simply resort to our conditioned response of prejudice is what I have experienced with a personal goal: the process of changing my swimming style.

Water has pulled me into its depths all my life. As a child, I spent hours on the river’s edge and within no time at all, following my Dad’s example, my child’s body was slicing through the green water to cross to the other side of the river. Though I have been told I did not take well to the public swimming pool and provided lessons, my swimming skills demonstrate I nonetheless did learn different swim strokes as well as the basics of diving, but it was only recently I discovered my swimming style was called the Tarzan stroke.

For known and unknown reasons, my swimming style meant I kept my head lifted out and above the water. One of the known reasons, though not entirely understood why, was to stop water from going up my nose. Yet diving is one of my favorite aspects of swimming.

In fact, one year, after a tumultuous period of my life, I even taught myself how to swan dive. Till then, I had never learned successfully how to use a spring diving board, so learning how to swan dive meant observing all users of spring boards and of course, especially the children, with their lack of fear and their bold fun who taught me to just let go and get comfortable with falling in the water in all kinds of ways; which also meant letting to of what people thought of a grown woman flopping into a pool as I grew accustomed to being out of control, so I could gain more trust in the process to achieve my goal.

In one winter season, my unconventional learning style did result in my ability to spring my body high into the air with arms spread wide and legs pulled together in proper form before my arms returned to their entry position as my body curved and sliced the pool’s surface. Sometimes on my entries my body was more rolled than straight and into an underwater somersault my body would roll. Sometimes my body was so straight and pointed, down to the bottom my arrowed body would rush. And sometimes, my body would have just enough of a curve to take me down so far but then gracefully sweep me back up to the surface. Even without a camera, I knew I was successful in completing my goal because of the response from observers, including the lifeguards.

A few years ago when I moved back to the home of my late teens and twenties where one of the greatest bodies of water, Lake Huron, once challenged and strengthened my swimming abilities, I soon realized how much I had let my swimming strength diminish. Upon my return, I also discovered one of the newer challenges I wanted to experience, surfing, is becoming a growing popular sport at the town’s main beach because of the dynamics of the breakwall, piers and currents.

A significant water level drop since I owned property south of the town’s border and even south of the area known as Boiler Beach has resulted in significant lake changes, including rip currents that develop in between sandbars and beside piers; rip currents that can thrust even an accomplished swimmer across the surface of the water in seconds, leaving them disoriented and if not wise in the ways of these sometimes volatile waters, stranded in deep water, exhausted from fighting the water’s stronger force. Safe swimming, as well as surfing and any other water activity, is now best-managed by learning how rip currents work, how to get out of their often frightening grasp, more safety strategies and tools, plus stronger swimming skills for this great lake.

For me, stronger swimming skills translates into face-in-the water comfort by learning to swim the crawl as opposed to wasting energy trying to keep myself alive by keeping my head above water at all times by swimming the energy-zapping Tarzan stroke. Changing a fifty-year style of swimming has not been easy or as quick as some would hope … especially people with different personality types, learning styles, body types and beliefs.

As a result of a lot of personal work, I know me very well these days and that includes the recognition none of the above … personality types, learning style, body types and even beliefs are the same as the majority. First, many people like constant attention while learning. In contrast, I excel when I gather new information and then go off on my own to practice and experiment because someone constantly talking at me is a distraction to me, but welcomed by other personality types. When I need more information, I come back for more, taking all the pieces and working on them individually before I start integrating them. For example, two of the biggest challenges I faced was getting used to putting my face horizontal in the water and learning how to breathe as I lifted my face partially out of the water, first to the right and eventually also to the left. Changing my kick from a thrust to a constant flutter meant developing the muscles in my hips and legs in new ways. Then there were the goggles, the bathing cap, getting the arm strokes coordinated with the breathing and the face in the water plus the new style of kick, etc.

Knowing what I know about my personality type, learning style and even body type, I should have known better than to take lessons in a big class with so many swimmers who, as it turns out, already swim the way I was there to learn how to do.

So, after two classes, I took the information provided, did some research of my own and started swimming on my own, breaking down old habits and instilling new ones, which, of course is taking time, though in truth it has only been a few months. Still, I find several people are quick to share their opinions about what I am doing wrong even though they know nothing about me other than what they see in their mind snapshots of my swimming endeavors.

Yet I know, if observers do not have the same personality type as I they will not understand how I work well on my own, breaking down big pictures into the details in order to construct a new big picture. They will not know that my body type is first a sprinter, excelling in activities that require quick and short bursts of great speed and that in order for me to become an endurance performer, I first have to train my body and mind with how it works best … using my natural speed with an element at a time until I can bring all the elements together quickly … in a flash, so I can experience what the new way of swimming I am striving for feels like … so I can build that feeling into my endurance training and goals.

“You swim too fast, your head is not deep enough in the water, you need a camera with video to watch your form,” are just some of the comments and suggestions I have heard, albeit, no doubt with good intentions, but yet at the same time this experience greatly demonstrates how we like, prefer even, everyone to be like us … to do as we do, to act as we act, to think as we think, to learn as we learn … and yet, no matter how much we may try, we are not like anyone else … and never will be without losing our own identity. We, each of us, are unique combinations of a number of factors, none of which is duplicated in anyone else.

Learning to appreciate we are not like everyone else and to understand that our differences from others does not make us or anyone else wrong, but just different is a very important step in making our world a safer and more peaceful place to live.

Valuing … respecting our differences, as well as our similarity in being unique creatures, is a huge step in making our world the safer and the most peaceful place we all want to live.

Hmmm, on that note, it is off to the pool I go in a few hours to recapture the new feeling I experienced during my last swim session when everything finally came together … speed, stroke, right and left breathing. Now I can begin to refine my form and build up my endurance so I will be ready this summer to be the swimmer and surfer I envision myself to be.

March 17, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER … CREATIVE WRITER, ADVOCATE, and PROJECT SPECIALIST responsible for the creation of the global initiative Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

Truth or Deception? I would not change a thing because …

Many of have heard people say or perhaps we have said the words ourselves, “I would not change a thing in my life because of what I have learned and the results in my life now.”

I used to believe this too, though now I call this thinking a fallacy because of a question that arose … does this kind of thinking empower us to make our world and the world-at-large a better place so we all thrive? Or are we just continuing to accept this hand-me-down mentality and passing its limitations onto the next generations?

After considering this mindset extensively I realize this perspective is yet another deception the Disrespect Philosophy creates to keep us small, with little expectation or hope, repeating the past over and over, instead of empowering us to create significant lasting personal and cultural change.

I will give you my scenario and hopefully as you read this, you will consider yours … from both perspectives.

For years I thought all the very limiting and negative experiences my life was filled with were my fault … including the abuses I experienced as a child … for being misunderstood, different, pre-judged, starving for acceptance and as a result, vulnerable to people who prey, consciously or not, on the vulnerability of the broken-hearted and the broken-spirited with promises that eventually caused me great harm … the dangerous kind of harm that reduces a child’s, a youth’s, an adult’s RESPECT LEVEL to such a low-level one keeps attracting the same level of disrespect from others … reinforcing and reducing one’s RESPECT LEVEL that turns what started out to be a happy, loving being into a negative, frightened being who seeks to hurt first in relationships or runs away or uses habits as distractions.

Then being forced to make changes to survive, I then embraced the idea that I had to go through all I did in life so I could do what I am doing … advocating, writing, creating; however, based on an idea that grew into the premise, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE. As a result, now I know for years I was being deceived by our global Disrespect Philosophy or if you are a Christian believer, as I am again, you would say it was the Enemy. Because I know this now, I also know this fallacy created yet another deception … another fallacy … the one that still wants me to believe and reinforce by saying, “I would not change a thing in my life because of what I have learned and the results in my life now.”

For now I see through this veil of deception imprisoning most of us.

For in truth, if we lived in a global culture of “Respect for all life,” based on The RESPECT PRINCIPLE, we would bring children into a world where we would have made the “Respect Full” changes to ensure all children would not have to qualify or be approved of in order to receive healthy food, shelter, clothing, medicine, education and if not love, at least RESPECT, the simple recognition that they, as the unique individuals they are, are valued … are valuable … just for being who they are.

In my case, if my parents, family, school, community, province and country had a high enough RESPECT LEVEL for those more different from themselves, they would have sought to discover what personality type I was, what were my primary and secondary communicating and learning styles, what type of learning environment I needed to develop my own identity, boundaries and a healthy RESPECT LEVEL for myself, and as a result, for others, thereby developing to the best ability the social skills to interact well with the world in all my relationships.

But they did not know my personality type thrives on study, research, exploration and then lots of analysis, introspection, problem solving, and creativity. They did not know my personality type’s mind receives vast internal stimulation whereas the majority of people require external stimulation from the world around them to keep them engaged mentally and that when I am in the external world too long, I shutdown to protect myself. But of course, the irony is, shutting down and withdrawing from those people whose brains require vast external stimulation often, because of ignorance, misjudge and mistreat those who withdraw, often taking their withdrawal personally, which ultimately puts those trying to protect themselves in more danger.

They did not know how their ignorance and their demand for 100% conformity broke my heart and my spirit as well as contributed to the harm to my body … inflicted by others and my self because of my low RESPECT LEVEL for myself.

And this is where many people will say, “But look at what you have learned, who you have become … a writer, author, advocate and so much more,” but I say this now, “But look at how much more I could have given to the world, at what a better citizen, student, role model, wife, daughter, sister, friend, supporter, community member I could have been all my life … if I knew from experience I was valued and aided accordingly for who I was and for my unique gifts, talents and abilities. I tell you who I would have been, what I would have done, the life I would have lived … I would have been placed in a Montessori school where self-directed education is best suited for my personality type. I would have received an athletic scholarship for the physical prowess and stamina I inherited from both of my parents. Because of my natural desire to study, I would have a few degrees, would be a lifelong successful author, an altruistic entrepreneur and so much more. I would not have married twice because I would have made better choices for me because I would have known myself better and not tried to get my value through other people whether in relationships or work I did. I would have been more respectful of others … their feelings, their things and I would have enjoyed happier and healthier relationships with my family.

Though this is my story, this is also everyone’s story … just look at our world.

Now that my years of study, research, analysis and problem-solving have revealed the lies and deceptions for what they are, now I am being who I was destined to be, doing what I was destined to do, life is good and my life will one day reflect that good … but if I had grown up in a world with a higher RESPECT LEVEL, my whole life would have bore the fruit of being who I really am … all my life and not just in the last half of my life … and the world I was in contact with during my lifetime would have been better for that experience.

If I could, I would change almost everything about my life, starting with my early years, where in photos I find a happy, joyful, exuberant child ready to explore the world, but since I cannot do it over for me, I am dedicated to shedding the light on the darkness … on the lies and deceptions the Disrespect Philosophy, the Enemy have used to hold us as prisoners.

I hope and pray you will too … it is never too late to be who you are meant to be.

February 17, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Getting YOU the RESPECT YOU Want … Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Author, Writer, Playwright, Poet, Lyricist, Artist, Advocate, Speaker, Researcher, Analyst, Developer, Project Specialist, Creative Director, Founder … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

Connecting “Prejudice” … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE … Special Feature “Scientific American’s Our Unconscious Mind” Article

As with any word people can have variations on a word’s definition, but a word like prejudice is fairly straightforward. Its spelling defines its meaning. Prejudice is simply our act of pre-judging something … a person, place, experience, belief, etc., but history and the present show globally how we perceive some prejudices as small and acceptable and some as big and unacceptable, all of which are dependent on a number of variables … most of them harmful and even dangerous.

However, based on the Connecting the Dots … with the RESPECT PRINCIPLE, our prejudice variables are greatly influenced by our internalized and our community’s externalized RESPECT LEVEL.

Before proceeding, let’s keep in mind that most of what drives our unconscious thoughts and actions is a deep, negative, global conditioning I call the Disrespect Philosophy … the core belief that no one is worthy or entitled to be valued … respected … without some qualifier … without someone’s or some stamp of approval by some group … and this is the root of both our small and big prejudices … and fortuitously the January 2014 Scientific American confirms my premise that our unconscious mind drives more of our thoughts and actions than perhaps we care to acknowledge … Check this out

Journal of Scientific American
January 2014 (Psychology)

Our Unconscious Mind
Article Pages 30-37

By John A. Bargh, a professor of psychology at Yale University. His Automaticity in Cognition, Motivation and Evaluation Lab at Yale investigates unconscious influences on behavior and questions such as to the extent of what free will exists.

Unconscious impulses and desires impel what we think and do in ways Freud never dreamed of.

IN BRIEF (4 boxes on bottom of page 32)

DECISION MAKING often occurs without people giving much conscious thought to how they vote, what they buy, where they go on vacation or the way they negotiate a myriad of other life choices.

UNCONSCIOUS PROCESSES underlie the way we deliberate and plan our lives – and for good reason. Automatic judgments, for one, are essential for dodging on oncoming car or bus.

BEHAVIORS governed by the unconscious go beyond looking both ways at the corner. Embedded attitudes below the level of awareness shape many of our attitudes toward others.

SIGMUND FREUD meditated on the meaning of the unconscious throughout his career. These newer studies provide a more pragmatic perspective on how we relate to a boss or spouse.

When psychologists try to understand the way our mind works, they frequently come to a conclusion that may seem startling: people often make decisions without having given them much thought – or, more precisely, before they have thought about them consciously. When we decide how to vote, what to buy, where to go on vacation and myriad other things, unconscious thoughts that we are not even aware of typically play a big role. Research has recently brought to light just how profoundly our unconscious mind shapes our day-to-day interactions. Page 32

Post-Freudian psychology has set aside the id and the ego for a more pragmatic take on what defines our unconscious self. Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman has described the modern distinction between the automatic and the controlled. In his best-selling book, Thinking Fast and Slow
… Top left column, page 33

The unconscious way we perceive people during the course of the day is a reflexive action. We must exert wilful, conscious effort to put aside the unexplained and sometimes unwarranted negative feelings that we may harbor towards others. The stronger the unconscious influence, the harder we have to work consciously to overcome it … The ability to regulate our own behavior-whether making friends, getting up to speed at a new job or overcoming a drinking problem-depends on more than genes, temperament and social support networks. It also hinges, in no small measure, on our capacity to identify and try to overcome the automatic impulses and emotions that in influence every aspect of our waking life. To make our way in the world, we need to learn to come to terms with our unconscious self. Mid-page of page 33

GUT REACTIONS
When we meet someone new, we form a first impression even before striking up a conversation. We may observe the person’s race, sex or age-features that, once perceived, automatically connect to our internalized stereotypes about how members of a particular group are apt to behave. These assumptions … Bottom left column, page 33

CHECK OUT the COLOR TEST on the top right column of page 33

OUT OF CONTROL
Unconscious thoughts and feelings influence not only the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us but also our everyday actions. Bottom right page 34

EMBODIED COGNITION
Some of the research on the unconscious and behavior focuses on the way the surrounding physical environment influences our psychological state of mind. Bottom left page 36

Why Some Social Science Studies Fail on top of page 34
…Still, the overall body of evidence collected so far clearly shows that unconscious influences on judgment, emotion, behavior and motivation are of practical importance both to society as a whole and to the everyday lives of its members.

FREUD REDUX
… that means we can set aside antiquated notions of Oedipus complexes and accept the reality that the unconscious assets its presence in every moment of our lives, when we are fully awake as well as when we are absorbed in the depths of a dream.

NOW AVAILABLE online or you can watch the author talk about how the unconscious affects our behaviors at ScientificAmerican.com/jan2014/unconscious

In the end, prejudice, like unhealthy competition, compels us to constantly judge others in contrast to ourselves. When people do not mirror us and our beliefs, we pre-judge them as unworthy or wrong or even dangerous because people with low RESPECT LEVELS believe other people must be like them in order to be approved, to feel safe with and therefore worthy of respect in their interactions with them.

To end what was, awareness is the beginning, but a global culture shift in our driving unconscious Disrespect Philosophy is ultimately the change agent we need to create a better world for all life to thrive.

February 9 and 11, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Getting YOU the RESPECT YOU Want … Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.

Connecting “Competition” … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE

What does competition mean to you? Does it mean succeeding at all costs? Does it mean feeling bad about one’s self when one doesn’t win? Does it mean a constant comparison to other people? Does it mean strained relationships because you are trying to just be who you really are and other people are still caught up in competing with you because they do not yet believe in the value of themselves as they really are?

Based on the Connecting the Dots … with the RESPECT PRINCIPLE, our definition of competition and one’s success will be based on our internalized RESPECT LEVEL.

Before proceeding, let’s keep in mind that most of what drives our unconscious or subconscious thoughts and actions is a deep, negative, global conditioning I call the Disrespect Philosophy … the core belief that no one is worthy or entitled to be valued … respected … without some qualifier … without someone’s or some stamp of approval by some group … and this is the root of unhealthy competition.

Unhealthy competition is a drive that compels us to constantly compare ourselves to others. When people do not reflect us and our beliefs, we judge them to be above or below us. If above, we try to be something we are not … something that does not feel natural to us nor does it make us feel good about ourselves and since we will not measure up, we will seek ways, mostly in our minds, but some people act out their thoughts and feelings, to knock our “competitor” down to our own level … or below. If we judge someone as below us, we ignore them completely or treat them as less valuable or worse.

People with a high RESPECT LEVEL know competition between ourselves and others does not really exist because the only person we can truly compete with is our self. We know we are unique individuals and our only real challenge is discovering, expressing and refining our unique qualities, gifts, talents … strengths. Sometimes that translates into our winning a prize or special recognition or being selected for a job, etc., but often mostly translates into how we choose to live our daily lives.

With a high RESPECT LEVEL, competition is not seen as a drive to be better than another, but about being the best we can be, about doing the best we can … and letting the results not be viewed as failure, but just as an experience … an experience we can appreciate, learn from or let go of in order to move forward.

There really are no losers or winners if we are all doing our best to be who we really are underneath all the external expectations. We were created as beautiful, unique beings, with our own unique gifts, talents and abilities to discover, develop and share. Do this one thing and we win every day of our lives … and so does the world we share with the rest of the beautiful, unique beings who need to be taught how not to be carbon copies of others, but to be who they really are too.

A high RESPECT LEVEL a win win for us all

February 3, 2014

Kaitlin A. Trepanier
http://www.kaitlinatrepanier.com

All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Getting YOU the RESPECT YOU Want … Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child … every person … should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED.